when someone asks you...?

Question

are you okay?
and you say yes.
everyone knows that you aren't.
no one is really "okay" or "fine" so why do we always seem to say that???

Answer 1

Like other people have said in here, it's just something we've been taught to say, although i don't agree with it because we're not sharing our true "feelings", & that's what makes some people bottle up & explode on something later. If someone asks me that, I just simply say "not really, but i'd rather not discuss it right now", that way they know the truth, but don't feel obligated to hear the details. i don't feel like unloading all my problems on someone unless they really wanna know, & that only involves close friends & people i trust. I think people should stop saying "yes" when they're not ok, it just builds an insecurity cloud, & i hate feeling like that myself! You can simply just say "no" & look or walk away.

Answer 2

This is what the term 'social conditioning' means. We are taught at a young age to not talk about our problems because no one wants to hear them, even though this is not necessarily true.
By saying you are fine when it is obvious you are not, provides the listener the option to probe if they really are concerned or care and a socially polite choice to not give a crap about you or how you are doing. This also gives you the option as to whether you will be honest with the person (if you trust them) and tell them how you feel or opt out by repeating the 'No I'm fine, or okay' line if you are uncomfortable talking about it.
Good or bad, when you look at it that way it is really a highly developed strategy to prevent one from feeling burdened during social interaction.
Hope this clarifies things a bit.
R

Answer 3

If someone asks if I'm okay and I tell them yes, then that's because I am okay. Or at least as okay as I ever get, meaning that things are going normally which is fine with me. So I'm not lying. If they weren't going okay then I'd say so. If they think I'm not okay when I say I am, then that's faulty perception on their part.

Answer 4

Half of the time when someone asks that question, they are not looking for you to tell them the problem. It is just polite to recognize that someone is upset and act like they care. If they continue to add "Would you like to talk about it?" then it would be appropriate to unload on them. Otherwise, they are just trying to appear concerned.

Answer 5

Because sometimes people dont want to talk about why they are not okay. Its also eaiser to say im ok then admit that your not.

Answer 6

I guess it makes us feel a little better.Everyone should say ''I'm fine,everything is going smooth and getting better'' even if we're feeling....not so good.It's all in the head,we must trick our brain sometimes,it works,trust me.

Answer 7

Because you don't want o get into a discussion about any problems that you might be having, unless they are a family member or good friend.

Answer 8

some ppl keep it to thier self they might say im ok when there not so ,it can seem that they have everthing under controle, or they just dont want to share thier problem with everybody

Answer 9

Well if they're like me, then they don't like showing their emotions to people and don't want other people to know problems they might be having in their life.

Or maybe cause it's the stationary thing to say.

Answer 10

because u really dont want 2 talk about it or u dont anybody 2 know!! only tell the people ur problem if u trust them otherwise if u dont they could use that against u!!!