we finish work on wednesday for 6 six weeks and there's a guy who I've been in love with for 2 years,
I've never had the guts to tell him how I feel because I don't think I'm good enough for him and I'm quite shy and rubbish when it comes to flirting and socializing with him, I really love him and we get on really well,
please help me
thank you very much! x
2007-07-16 08:25:38 · 28 answers · asked by ωєℓѕн 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just say it... count to 3 and just say it..closing ur eyes may help..it helps me when i have to say something and im nervous..like 1 time i had this major crush on this guy and i just pulled him aside counted to 3 took a deep breath and blurted out how i felt about him..he kissed me and we dated for about a year...just do it..you never know what could happen
2007-07-16 08:30:45 · answer #1 · answered by $CMoney$ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, firstly YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! Never, ever think that about yourself. If you do it will show on the outside. So get rid of those negative and destructive thoughts. Everyone is good enough for everyone and you are no different.
As regards your colleague.. Well I would say that if he was interested he would have made his intentions clear, however, he could be very very shy and not have the courage or indeed the self esteem to actually come right out and say it. Therefore, you, being the active one, should invite him and a few other colleagues out for a drink after work on Wednesday or Thursday at the local. Say to him "Are you coming, would be really nice if you did" This makes it crystal clear to him what your intentions are. Men need this. They need these blunt clues from women because they truly miss the subtle ones (straight over their heads, I'm afraid!).
So, if he says "yes" you are now in with a chance of a relationship, because he will be responding to your intention. If he says "no", well - I'm sorry but he just won't be interested. It's as simple as that. Give it a try - you really, truly have nothing to lose. Have faith..
Good Luck, Sweetie..
2007-07-16 17:07:10 · answer #2 · answered by Brown Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't necessarily have to blurt out that you love him, just tell him that since your work is ending wednesday that you'd like to take him out to dinner. and then see how that goes and see what kind of feedback you get from him then go from there. i just wouldn't spring the 'i've loved you for two years' on him right away it might be kind of scary for him. who knows maybe he's felt the same way all this time too but thought you were just being friendly. this happened to me some years ago and i just thought the guy was being nice and we had a lot of fun together and just really got along well. i had said good bye to him a week before i was to move and the night i was moving from chicago to georgia he some how found out the hotel i was staying in and called and told me how he felt. i was shocked and really saddened because i had felt that way too and here i was starting a new life elsewhere. it just seemed so wrong to have missed out on all those years we could have had together. and no, we didn't end up together, we tried the tele-romance thing but we both ended up moving in different directions with our lives.
2007-07-16 15:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by ?! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I think telling a guy you love him after having kept the feelings hidden for this long, might freak him out and make him run. Instead, maybe you should start a little slower by asking him out. I think something like:
"Hey, I was thinking, now that we won't be working on a professional level anymore, maybe you'd like to go to dinner with me?"
It may not be the immediate results you are looking for, but I think you need to establish first whether he's interested in you romantically or not first. If he says "No, thanks", you wont be quite as devastated as you might if you threw all your feelings at him all at once.
By the way, if he says no and hurts your feelings then he might not have been worth your love anyway! ;-)
2007-07-16 15:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Aly70Cat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if your not married and neither is he. You being close to him is the biggest hurdle in a love affair. Why not give him your number and say lets go out sometime. Us guys are pretty cool about the girl giving us the go ahead, it makes life so much easier. You'll be suprised. The worst that could happen he wouldn't call no loss no gain.
2007-07-16 15:31:21 · answer #5 · answered by Travis James 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll help you out.
I was in a similar situation, except with my college professor, whom I also loved for over 2 years. I never told him how I felt, of course. I decided not to. But, NEVER NEVER NEVER say "love". That will scare him off! It's too strong of a word, and he just might laugh it off and you will feel foolish. Even though my prof and I had a good friendship, I still never would have used "love."
My plan was to say this:
"I was thinking about what you said the other day. Even though this is in different context, I want to say it anyway. I am attracted to you. I am attracted to your mind, to your intellect, and to you personally. I know you probably think this sounds silly, and I do feel foolish now and wish I didn't say anything, but it's too late. I just wanted you to know that."
Really. I was going to say all of that! You can say something similar to that as well so it doesn't come off as too strong. And if he doesn't say anything, or if he just says "thank you," you can always say, "Well, I was just wondering what your thought was on this."
Tell him. But don't use 'love.' And if you're having doubts about approaching him, remember this- "when we take chances, sometimes good things happen and sometimes bad things will happen. But if we never take that chance, nothing will happen."
2007-07-16 15:35:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you ask him to meet up over the holidays?
It'll
1. Give you a chance to be alone with him
2. Give him a chance to see you in another light
3. You can be a bit more flirty with him in an informal environment, whuch won't be threatening as it won't be a formal date
Good luck, and remember at the end of life people tend to regret the things they didn't do more than the things they did....
2007-07-16 15:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by n i k k i 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say the time is now! Invite him to go out for a drink or for some coffee just to hang out. Then start chatting as you usually do. Then bring it up slowly by asking if he has a girlfriend and such. Then just be like I have to be honest with you, and the truth is there is something about you that is truly amazing and you may not feel the same way but I really feel that I love you. Wait for him to respond and possible ask him out for another hang out time. Exchange e-mails and numbers. If he doesn't feel the same way then its his loss and he should know he's missing out. If he says he doesn't feel the same way tell him its fine, but promise to continue to be friends to show your okay with it even though you may be tearing up inside. It's all about the way you handle it. Good luck, and I hope this guy feels the same way for you!
2007-07-16 15:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by Dana 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Write him a letter expressing your feelings, and at the end tell him where to meet you if he thinks things will work between the two of you.
I agree with the others who say "don't tell him you love him straight away" You might scare him off. So just tell him you have feelings for him that you are afraid to express.
2007-07-16 15:31:00 · answer #9 · answered by LadyRaven 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell yourself over and over that you are not shy and that you can and will go up to him. After two years do you think that he knows how you feel about him. I would think that he might. When you go up to him just relax and be real calm. DO NOT TELL HIM RIGHT OFF THAT YOU LOVE HIM IT WILL SCARE HIM OFF. If after two years both of you have not talked that much. Then when you go up to him just make small talk at first.
2007-07-16 15:37:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋