i need help!?

Question

any moms know a good way to get youre 3 year old to mind. she never had terrible twos but i think she has terrible 3s. what is a good way to get her to listen? WITHOUT SPANKING!

Answer 1

I'm going thru the same thing with my daughter who is 3. She is a handful no doubt about it. Everything I have tried.. she back talks to. Let me tell ya that gets under your skin fast. With my daughter we have sat her down, not letting her get up and have put her in her room by herself. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Cant wait for this stage to be over with. Good luck

Answer 2

Just be consistent. You need to find what she doesn't like (whether it be time out, losing something, etc.) and consistently enforce the rules with that. I have an extremely strong willed 3 year old in my daycare. She gets in the corner for misbehaving. If that doesn't work, she has to walk around holding my hands. she really doesn't like this, because she doesn't have the freedom to go and play. This usually fixes it. She has tried a few times to have a temper tantrum. When she does this I calmly pick her up and place her in the playpen without saying a word. She eventually calms down, then she gets out. She hasn't done this anymore lately. I think she gets the message. Good luck. it can try your patience, but remember it's best to discipline her now at 3 then to try and do it when she's 13 and acting up. You have to let her know that your in charge no matter what she does.

Answer 3

When she doesn't listen, take things away from her. Use a chart with smiley faces and sad faces, and at the end of each day, talk about the days' events and MUTUALLY decide on whether she gets a good or bad face. At the bottom of the calendar, have a picture of something she really wants (like a toy or a day at the park or something) so she'll have a daily reminder that in order to get the prize, she needs ___ number of smiley faces. Once she realizes that she has a hand in her own destiny, being good will mean more to her.

Answer 4

A three year old is not too young for time outs and loss of privileges. Small losses....things that are over in a day's time.
If she shrieks in her time out chair tell her that the "timer will start when you are quiet". Have her sit for 3 minutes quietly. (One minute for each year of age.)

Each time she gets up, put her back. Eventually she'll tire and sit there. But start the timer for 3 minutes ONLY when she's quieted down. Use an egg timer she can hear ticking or one you can set on a microwave or clock. That way if the phone rings or you forget the time, you will not be having her sit longer than she should. Lack of consistency on your part will result in disaster. Having a timer keeps both of you on track.

If she starts yelling part-way through, or gets up, tell her you are starting over.
She will soon get the message that compliance is a good thing...and you are the one setting the terms.

Remind her...your time out will start when you are quiet...the longer you scream the longer you will sit.

When time is up, go to her eye level and tell her why you put her in time out. Tell her what you want her to do instead of her bad behavior. Give her a hug and move on with the day.

If it is a really bad thing she did, you can put up a favorite toy for the day, but time outs are usually very effective at this age, if done right.

Our daughter used to scream the house down at 3 when she first started needing time outs. Eventually she'd tire herself and realize that we were just going to ignore her until she got quiet and sat for 3 minutes. She's older now and knows to go and sit quietly from the start. Time outs are now very very rare and we have a nicely behaved child most of the time. (((-: Same goes for our other two!

Now that's the negative consequence. You need some positive reinforcement to bring out the behavior you want.

To counterbalance, have a chart or two for good behavior, but be clear what that behavior is or it will be too vague. Don't use a chart that simply says "Behavior". For our son we had one for eating nicely at the table and another for good behavior at bed time. Our oldest daughter had one for tidying her toys at the end of the day.

Choose the behaviors that you most need right now and don't overdo the charts. After she's gotten 10 stickers on one chart, take her to the dollar store and let her pick out a small, safe, inexpensive toy.

Food rewards are fine once in awhile but you don't want her associating good behavior with eating.

You can draw your own charts that she can decorate or find some online to print out. Google "behavior charts or incentive charts". There are tons out there. Here are some to get you going. Read the information as well for other ideas.

Answer 5

The smiley face thing is a great idea! I have three daughters and during the "3's" stage, I really tried to keep things simple! Time out for 3 min. worked great. Just make sure that she stays in a time out chair, rug, table,etc. in your sight, so that when she moves, (which she will!) you can gently put her back! A quick and simple conversation about why she was there like "mommy put you in time out because you hit! we don't hit because it hurts! Make sure she says that she's sorry! Oh, and by my own experience and friends as well, we all agree that it's the terrible 4's! So look out!!!

Answer 6

the corner works well. also try to take away privilages. often times when they realize they cant watch their favorite show until they do what they are told, they start to want to do things the right way. my daughter cleans her own room and all and she is about to be 3. she has her moments, but all in all when she gets her toys taken away or tv because she is being bad... she straightens up. the high five works great. when she does something right or does a good job i show her how excited i am and ask for a high five. she loves it and it gives her confidence to do right instead of wrong.

Answer 7

be consistent with discipline, i would try nanny 911 books, two warnings then do what you said and don't back down. (even if there are tears). I do sometimes think that they are worse at 3. She needs to know that you are not going to give in to her cuteness. be strong, show her you are the boss not her. but also make sure that once the discipline is giving hugs and kisses are given. You need to show them you still love them.


Good luck!!!

Answer 8

A swat on the behind from time to time never hurt any child, however, it should be used only when needed. Like in a public place, there is no place for time outs(which don't work, anyway). Taking things away can work, but only when the child gets back home.

Answer 9

OK ...........this is what I suggest. I used this method with my own children and also with my students in my class (I taught for 8 years). When your daughter is doing something wrong you count to 1..........wait for 1 minute and then count to 2...........wait for 1 minute and count to 3............get up and pop her little shiney hiney. She will get the message quickly, trust me. It works everytime. Now this is only if she is still misbehaving. If she behaves make a chart and let her pick out her own star and let her put her star anywhere she wants on that chart. Display that chart out in the open in your home so she can show it off to others. Good Luck !!!!

Answer 10

Toddlers are not mini adults, they don't think like adults do. Their minds are not equipped to retain information. What you tell her now is forgotten 5 minutes from now. YOU have to be CONSISTENT, you have to tell her over and over and over. When she throws a fit put her in time out, get to her level and explain WHY she is going to time out then when you get her out of time out get to her level again and once again explain to her WHY she was in time out. You have to be repetetive and consistent or nothing is going to work.