He is 21 mo old. He doesn't want anyone other than me or my husband to come near him. If god forbid someone should accidently touch him, he will melt down. I'm not concerned about it, because he will warm up to ppl eventually it just takes months of them slowly getting closer and closer to him. All of my friends know this about him and are happy to get to know him at his pace. But I have a friend I mentioned earlier who thinks it's funny to sweep him up from behind and hold him while he kicks and screams and cries for me. I always run to him and take him from her but sometimes she will run away from me or hold him tight so I can't get him. She thinks it's hilarious. When I get him back from her it takes about 20- 30 minutes to calm him. I think it's just awful. I told her she's mean and she laughed and said I know! How do I protect him without feeding his introvert side? Does she think she's gonna break his fear this way or is she trying to make him look like a brat to others?
2007-07-16 08:00:08 · 6 answers · asked by . 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Let me clarify one thing. She snatches him up when he's playing w/ the other children at church. They all sit in a corner and play together or he'll toddle around looking for different ones he knows to hold him. I don't LET her do this. She does it when I'm not there. When he's with others who love him and WANT to walk with him or hold him.
2007-07-16 08:08:54 · update #1
I agree more than I can say! Don't allow her near him anymore. I'd be livid if someone terrified my child that way.
He will get over it but not if you continue to allow her to come around. Can you imagine what you will face when it is time for Kindergarten?
Sheesh. How'd she like it if some big dude she didn't know grabbed HER from behind while she was walking to her car at night and wouldn't let HER go.
You don't even want to know what I'd do to anyone who did that to my child...especially if they did it a second time after me telling them off. Your baby is expecting you to protect him like a mother bear. Please show him he's the priority.
Get her away, away, away.
2007-07-16 08:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by GeriGeri 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This friend is behaving really badly. She is showing no respect for you or concern for your son's wellbeing by doing this. If I were you, I'd be mad as hell at her. Don't let her get away with it, and don't let her make a joke of it. Let her know this is serious. Your son has seperation anxiety and fear of strangers, and she is being cruel and spiteful, not funny. Tell her straight. She is completely out of order!
As for your son, have you had him looked at by a specialist? There may be some help available to help him overcome this fear.
*edit* She doesn't do it when you're around? You said initially that she does do it when you're there. "I always run to him and take him from her but sometimes she will run away from me or hold him tight so I can't get him". That sounds like in front of you to me!
Anyway, however it happens, you have to tell her straight that this has to stop.
2007-07-16 15:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No more letting her watch the kids. Mention this to the pastor, as she needs to be removed from the nursery. If she can't respect parents' wishes, then she shouldn't be watching their kids.
Unless it's not in the nursery that she does this. But since she continues to disrespect you, have you, your hubby, and her all sit down and talk to the pastor.
As far as his being afraid of strangers, I have yet to see a kid who HASN'T gone through that,so he'll grow out of it. Just give it time. If he starts kindergarten, and is still afraid, then see a child psychologist.
2007-07-16 15:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say being grabbed from behind could have CAUSED his anxiety. She might not be doing it intentionally, but she is, nonetheless, terrorizing your son.
Easy fix - she's not allowed in your house or near your son. She's not respecting what you've told her, so keep her away from him.
Your son will learn to trust as he finds people trustworthy; I think it's wrong to teach children to ignore their instincts. It's his home too and people who don't respect his private space should be dealt with by his parents.
2007-07-16 15:11:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You protect him by not letting that woman around him. She's the brat. Cut her out of your life. Why would you let someone do that to your child.
2007-07-16 15:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by lillilou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR FRIEND TO GET THE HELL A WAY FROM YOUR BABY. TELL HER TO GET OUT OF YOUR LIFE. SHE IS THE BRAT NOT YOUR BABY.
2007-07-16 15:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Yvonne M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋