I have been talking to ..sort of dating a guy for the last 3 months.. he has been married and is recently divorced. His ex-wife still lives with him. He says it is so she can finish school, but they got divorced becuase she cheated. He claims there is nothing between the two of them anymore but it all seems odd to me. What would you do??
2007-07-16 07:38:28 · 50 answers · asked by amy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And she can't finish school in her own place? Rent is expensive, but it's not that expensive. That's why there are room-mates out there. Come on, you weren't born yesterday. Even if what he is saying is true, there is no way two people who were that intimate with each other could live together & not re-develop feelings for each other. I guarantee you that they are probably still having sex.
My older sister dated a guy in this scenario, except that they had kids. As soon as my sis started trying to stay over the ex went into "recapture my hubby" mode & started acting sexy & dressing provocatively. They ended up having sex. My sister wasn't having any of it, so she dumped him. She said that if he wanted to get with her he had to get rid of the ex. He didn't, so she moved on & is much happier for it.
Follow your instincts. If it smells bad, it's probably because something fishy is going on. Move on.
2007-07-16 07:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so sure he's divorced. That arrangement is too odd. First, they wouldn't be living together if she cheated and they were divorced. Second, if they are divorced, why does he care about her finishing school. Wouldn't he want her OUT of his life? Third, who's paying for this arrangement? Surely he is, at least some of it.
Nah, sounds like he's telling you a story to gain your sympathy. He's playing around with you. Actually, I think he's trying to cheat on her, with you, and is using you like that for his purpose.
Here's a suggestion...come up with a reason to talk with the ex, and ask him, "Say, I want to talk with your ex about (whatever). When will she be home?", and see how he reacts. If he really is divorced and has nothing to hide, he shouldn't have a problem with that. If he hesitates, even a little, run away as fast as you can.
2007-07-16 07:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he was so distraught as to divorce her, he would not live with her. There are plenty of places she could go, or if he didn't want to do that he could leave her the place and rent or vice versa. This is a bad situation and chances are he is still sleeping with her. Don't get angry or upset. Talk to him and explain that you feel awkward and maybe one day when their relationship is finalized you can start seeing him again. I have a funny feeling that this may just be a made up story as an excuse for an affair and there is no divorce at all. Be careful. Sometimes we trust too easily.
2007-07-16 07:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by Noodle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would run in the opposite direction. Being divorced means they do not live together. They do not support each other. They do not have relations with each other.
I found it very hard to believe that if the ex-wife is living in the house with him that they don't have "interaction" if you get my drift. Seems to me he never wanted to be married in the first place and he just wants a live in girl.
There is another possibility, it is all a lie and he is still married to the girl but he is the one cheating.
2007-07-16 07:45:07 · answer #4 · answered by mikeae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be exactly as he states, maybe he can get by without paying alimony if he lets here stay there until she finishes her education and gets a job. You could move in there with them, then you will have more access to the situation, but, just because the ex is still living there does not mean they are having sex. There are a lot of married people living together that are not having sex.
2007-07-16 07:46:58 · answer #5 · answered by victorschool1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please. It's all BS. Do not fall for this cheap trick.
I'm assuming that this is an internet boyfriend right?
My advice: Stay away from this bozo, I'm sure that he is very married and doing that sleezy myspace to fish from some free thrills. I can guarantee that he is not even divorced and his story is a bunch of crap.
Tell the cheater: Sorry, you have a lot on your plate and I want no part in that. I'm looking for an available and honest man, and you are neither.
Good luck
2007-07-16 07:50:38 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems very odd to me, though alot of divorced couples seem to do that lately. Is the ex wife dating? How is her attitude toward him and you dating? Is it a money issue? Don't be afraid to express your feelings to your man and find out how much longer her schooling is!
2007-07-16 07:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by Jen C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to believe him.. that nothing going on or, wait until his ex move out, if you can live with the suspense, of his ex living with him. Somethings a little odd about this, and it could be the reason why you have these feelings, it's call a women's intrusion. Let go until he is free of his ex, so you won't get hurt.
2007-07-16 08:06:42 · answer #8 · answered by carmel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave the whole setting. There are more men out there that dont have emotional baggage and arent living with an ex. Go for one of them. Just remeber there are more fish in the sea so dont settle for the closest one. Drama is what you would be getting into so just remeber that.
2007-07-16 07:47:41 · answer #9 · answered by Josh W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that thats terrible...if i was u i would prolly cut him off right there.....but i'm not u....maybe u should try to talk to him and tell him that it seems odd or maybe u should talk to him just as a friend until she moves out because i think that if u talk to him while shes there its only gonna cause problems for u....if hes not completly over her then u could very well end up getting hurt...i think that if two people get divorced it should be over right then....that seems odd to me that she lives there....just talk to him about it! good luck!
2007-07-16 07:44:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋