My SIL is getting married and I have to help out with the favors. I wrote out the invitations for my SIL's shower and paid for the postage. My MIL told me that she would give me the money and she never did. Now they want me to chip in with the favors. I plan on telling my MIL and the MOH that I'm not chipping in anymore because I already paid for the postage...which was like 40 dollars.
Is this being rude? I'm not working now because I'm a stay at home mom and just bought a house...
2007-07-16 07:22:12 · 46 answers · asked by qtpie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sounds like you paid your fair share to me
2007-07-16 07:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by wizjp 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just calmly explain that you're not able to chip in a lot of money because you just bought a new house. Remind them that you paid for the postage for the invitations, and that you'll probably be expected to buy a shower AND wedding gift. I understand where you're coming from, being that you have little disposable income, but don't get into an argument with them: explain it to your MIL and whomever else asks you about it that you don't have buying and spending power that they have. Just talk it out with them. Tell them you'd like to chip in (even if you don't) and say you're just not in a position to do so at this time. Good luck!
2007-07-16 07:28:15 · answer #2 · answered by Agent D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just mention that you paid the $40 for the postage and no one chipped in so you're part of the favors is covered by that. They may have simply forgot to pay you. Weddings can be so crazy sometimes that you lose track of that sort of thing. Just be honest. I'm sure it was a simple mistake.
2007-07-16 08:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by sunflower 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear CUTIE PIE, it would NOT BE RUDE .... you've paid as much as you have without even wanting to ... so my recommendation is that you have done your duty with respect to money (which I'm sure must be tight for you with a new house and not working).
I'm so annoyed at people who throw these big weddings and want all the trimmings and yet expect others in their family and friendship circle to foot the bill!
If you want to continue to help with the preparations then you should do so but as for being EXPECTED to help out financially ... NO WAY JOSE!! Don't get sucked in any further than you already have.
You can very diplomatically tell your MIL AND MOH that you simply can't afford any more money contributions but if they would like you to pitch in with making arrangements or setting things up for them ... then you would be happy to do so. Just remember that you respect yourself enough not to be abused! Hope this helps somewhat!!
2007-07-16 07:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being rude. This is your sister-in-law's wedding, and there is no requirement for you to pay for anything involved unless you offer to do so.
Nobody should expect a one-income family that has recently purchased a house to have very deep pockets, even if it was their place to pay for a lot of wedding expenses.
Simply tell them you're sorry, but you cannot afford to chip in more money. If you feel you'll have the time, you can always let them know you'll be happy to help put together the favors...as soon as they provide you with the materials.
2007-07-16 07:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If 40 dollars has you that upset do you really want to be involved with this anyways. Just let your MIL know the money she was going to pay you back for postage will go into the favors. So she will not have to pay you back.
2007-07-16 07:28:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not rude it's true. I'm sure there are other bridesmaids that can cover the favors . Just tell them politely that you really can't afford the expense right now but you'd be happy to help set up and anything else that doesn't require you to spend money!! Besides favors aren't really neccesary and it is the MOH's responsibility!!
2007-07-16 07:27:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way, it isn't rude at all. If you're not working she shouldn't even ask you to pay! That was rude of her, so don't worry about being rude. Just say it as nicely as you can, and make sure to add 'I'm sorry, but I just don't have it to give.' and 'I already did the best I could do' (with the invitations).
I'm sure you feel like saying 'if she's getting married why do we have to be the ones to go broke for it?!' But believe me....that's not a good idea :).
2007-07-16 07:29:59 · answer #8 · answered by Samantha 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't being rude, they are for not reimbursing you for the postage then requesting you give them MORE money.
Say sorry, but your funds are tied up elsewhere.
OR
When she gets married, give them a card stating something to the effect of your gift to them was the postage for the shower as well as money for the favors.
2007-07-16 07:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Tell her nicely that you have been busy writing out the invitations and buying all the stamps, which came to $40. Tell them you don't have the time or money to help with the favors. They should be able to handle it anyway. Tell them you want to use that money to buy a wedding gift for them. Then don't say any more. No apologies or anything. They have taken advantage of you anyway.
2007-07-16 07:28:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
how much is the favors?
I don't think so...you should mention to your MIL that you paid for the postage and that you shouldn't chipin anymore than everyone else.
personally i don't know why you are chipping in in the first place but you really shouln't put in any more money.
2007-07-16 07:27:59 · answer #11 · answered by gserrado 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋