Here's the scenario. There's an elderly couple, the wife is a Christian, the husband is not. The husband is on his deathbed. The wife desperately wants our church to speak to him about God. This would not be the first time we will have spoken to him.
So the question is, who's wishes do we respect? His, because he's dying and probably doesn't want to hear from us? Or hers because she's desperate for us to talk to him and she's been with our church for a long time?
Please do NOT give me answers simply based on whose theology (or non-theology) you agree with.
2007-07-16 06:19:15 · 25 answers · asked by Mister Sarcastic 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Spelling mistake, it should have read "...WHOSE wishes do we respect?"
2007-07-16 06:20:16 · update #1
As an atheist you'll be surprised by my answer...........I would go there and talk to him, per her request. But, if you don't want to be chased away immediately, don't approach him with bible verses and fears of hell on your lips. Come instead like you're visiting someone close to you who is dying and doesn't believe in the same dogma as you do. I'm sure that between the two of them they have discussed the possibility of your visit and it's intentions. So, just go by and say hello as well wishers and let him bring up the subject of religion first and instead of pushing your wares on him, just answer his questions if he has any. That way it will please your fellow sheep (his wife) and not be an unpleasant experience for a dying man. Good luck.
2007-07-16 06:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by RealRachel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fix those spelling errors promptly or else you will never be get the answer to your question, people will be like a bug attracted to light and focus only on them. =0)
I think if the wife wants the church to come and speak to the husband, they should. If the husband doesn't want to hear it this time either, He will let you know. Then you respect his wishes and be on your way.
2007-07-16 13:25:44 · answer #2 · answered by ♫O Praise Him♫ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the wife could really use someone to sit with her during this crisis, whether or not you agree to speak to her husband.
That said, does the wife have to be present when you speak to the husband? It seems to me that you could offer him comfort that has nothing to do with speaking to him about God. Or you might let her know that you'll sit with him and speak with him about God if he asks.
If these were my family members, I would hope that the needs of the dying person would be respected.
2007-07-16 13:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by Let Me Think 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there is no way in the world that you should even CONSIDER the idea of subjecting someone who is on his deathbed with what amounts to no more than an intellectual assault.
My mom recently passed away... she was a devout catholic... I am an atheist. When it was clear that her passing was near, I called the priest to come and administer last rites... I participated... I recited the prayers... I made the sign of the cross on her forehead. Why? Because I knew it was important to her... it simply did not matter that I thought that these to be nothing more than silly superstitious rituals... if silly, superstitious rituals brought comfort to my dying mother, then that was fine with me... and I was pleased that I could participate in bringing her comfort.
Had my mother been an atheist, any priest who tried to get near her would have been thrown bodily out of the room... followed by a kick in the ****.
2007-07-16 13:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
My well thought out answer is this: Let the church people come talk to him, but have them do it privately, without the wife. That way, they can just give an old man some company, not talk about religion, and the wife can think that they tried to convert him. Everybody wins.
2007-07-16 13:25:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Respect his wishes. As a Christian, it is difficult to do so, but his choice has been made, he has to deal with the consequences of it, but there is no need to make his final days more difficult... he has almost certainly heard all the arguments for why he should believe, and has chosen not to... any change that you might make would most likely not be of the real heart change he would need to make to guarantee heaven.
2007-07-16 13:29:48 · answer #6 · answered by waytoosteve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not assume that he doesn't want to hear from you. Anyway I think it good that your group visit him to see how he is, to show your concern for him and also the wife. Pray before going and let the spirit lead you. When you are there ask whether or not you can pray for him. Most I have heard are moved when you are praying for that person.
2007-07-16 13:29:41 · answer #7 · answered by JasonLee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to them. If the husband is on his death bed, and he doesnt want to hear about god, then i think everyone should respect his wishes and let him die happy. And if this makes the wife that unhappy, then you have to try to get her to understand that what she wants isnt what her husband needs.
2007-07-16 13:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by xxRedRobinxx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the woman has been married to this man for all these years, she should respect him enough to let him die in peace. She knows he's an Atheist, so she should respect his wishes. His last days/hours should be peaceful, not stressful. If she and her church want to pray for him, they are free to do so, but not in his presence.
2007-07-16 13:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the husband does not want you to come I would imagine he is not going to listen to anything you have to say. That is a tough situation. I would probably check and see if he wanted you to come by or not. You could pray with his wife and hopefully she will find the comfort she needs.
2007-07-16 13:23:03 · answer #10 · answered by sparkles9 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋