"Raising your children catholic."?

Question

Hey everyone! How's my favorite group to ask questions in????

Anyways, my fiance and I are in a disagreement. This whole time I've been planning the wedding (for the past 18 months), he's not said a word and that it was all up to me to do what I wanted.

Now, he found out from guys at work that since I'm Catholic, he's not, and we're having an inter-faith ceremony, he's worried about meeting with the priest in the next week or two. And he especially doesn't want to sign any paperwork, stating that we will raise our children catholic, but I don't find a problem in it, because I still go to church.

He said that he was going to refuse to sign that paper. I'm concerned we won't be able to get married in the church if he won't.

My question is that a couple of people here at work had Catholic/interfaith marriages this past year. Some said they had to sign the paper, some say they didn't. Did you have to? And did your fiances have problems with signing it?

It's not that he didn't know I'm catholic, he knew two years ago!.... but he found out from guys at work how the Catholic "way" is...

And you don't have to convert to Catholicism to be married in the church.

Ugh. People who aren't catholic or aren't marrying into a catholic family shouldn't answer this.

YOU CAN HAVE INTERFAITH MARRIAGES IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH! I've been to 15 of these weddings in the past 3 years. Otherwise, why would I post this? I've already booked the church, and they know about it.

Answer 1

If you disagree about silly things like these, maybe you should reconsider marriage, or seek counseling (non-faith-based counselor) first.

And why is he finding things out about YOU from other people?
Hmmm...

Answer 2

My husband and I were both Catholics at the time of our marriage. We are now both agnostics.
We moved last year from a northern state to a southwestern state, and have been amazed that Catholicism is different here. For example, weddings in the Catholic Church between a Catholic and a non-Catholic were very common in our old state. But here, we have been told that a Catholic priest will only marry a Catholic to a non-Catholic if the non-Catholic is either converting or a member of the Greek Orthodox Church.
So I think that you have to ask the priest who is marrying you what rules apply.
And if you don't like the rules, consider getting married by a minister or a judge.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes you can have an interfaith wedding, however the Catholic church will not recognize this as a Catholic marriage. I have a priest in the family, just asked him. Also, he told me you are required to sign the paper about raising your kids in the Catholic faith. for some reason NOT all priests make couples sign this when it comes to interfaith, he said probably because the church doesn't recognize it as a Catholic marriage.

Answer 4

I will have an inter-faith marriage in two weeks and the groom does not have to convert. But, the priest does ask you to make a promise that you will bring your kids up Catholic. The priest will ask if you take turns attending eachothers churches. When u go to your local Diocese for counseling , you will discuss inter-faith marriages. It was real simple. I did have to sign a yellow and a white paper, not the groom. My fiance had no problem @ all . My family has been Catholic for hundreds of years and I wouldn'd have it any other way.

Answer 5

Yes of course you can have interfaith marriages. However, over the premarital counselling, and when you meet with the priest, your guy MUST sign a statement that he is in agreement with the two of you having a Catholic home, and raising any children you have as Catholics. If he won't, that's your beef with your guy, not the church rules! You and he should go talk to your parish priest, and get the info as it pertains to your home church, and the diocese you are in.
Didn't have that problem because we are both practicing Catholics, and of course we wanted to have a Catholic home.

Answer 6

My mom was raised Catholic and my dad is not religous at all. When they got married 26 years ago, in a Catholic church, he did not have to convert but they did have to sign a paper agreeing to raise their children as Catholics. We were all baptized and were given the option to attend church (my mom is not a practicing Catholic and hasn't been since she was in high school). My dad did not have a problem signing the paper because he and my mom had pretty much the same views on religion and how to raise their kids. I don't think the 'signing the paper' should be an issue if you and your fiance are on the same page on how to raise your kids. If he doesn't want to sign the paper find out why? Have an open discussion about it. If he still doesn't want to sign it talk to your priest. If this is something you can't get past then you really need to re-evaluate your relationship.

Answer 7

Well i am Baptist and my Fiance is Catholic, and he comes from a very strict Mexican family, which means that they mostly speak in Spanish and are very into the whole religion thing. However my husband to be and I are in agreement that we want to have a small ceremony outside of the church because it will be easier all around and that way i don't have to convert to Catholicism just to appease his mother. Unfortunately i think that it will be more of a problem for his family to accept the inter faith marriage than my husband and I. We agree that church is important and we want to give the option to our children to choose, but we are not making any decisive plans at the moment because children are in the future for us. I understand that it is difficult for non Catholics to understand the process and i agree that all children should have some form of faith, but just make sure that he understands what it means and explain to him that it is not signing your children off to the church, but promising to raise them with an awareness of God and Faith.

Answer 8

I was just recently through all of this! In the church I attend, you have to start planning and talking with the priest at least 6 months before your planned date. Did you have to attend Pre-cana or any classes? I am a little concerned for you that the topic of your religion as a family as not been discussed, I am not saying it can only be one way! I am catholic and my is not and my husband is part native american and he practices his families native religion. We were open with the Priest and my husband was okay with the fact of raising our children catholic, and exposing them to his religion also. My husband has even considered becoming catholic. Anyway we did discuss the fact of raising our children catholic and having them baptized. I am sure that we had to sign a paper so that the bishop could approve it, and it should be taken seriously. You both need to figure it out don't set it aside, it will just lead to a bigger mess when you do have kids. But realize that years ago your partner had to be catholic to marry in the church, they just want people to be serious and continue in their faith. But look at the big picture no one is going to come and get your kids and baptize them. That is a decision you have to make. I hope you can work it out!!!

Answer 9

The Catholic Church can and does do interfaith marriages. However, from the sound of it, this is the least of your fiance's problems, and your's.

If your fiance refuses to commit to signing a paper that has to do with your marriage, how can he be expected to commit to the actual marriage itself?

Your fiance is still the number one person in his life. I would advise NO ONE to marry until each fiance put ther other fiance first in their life.

Your fiance has yet to do that.

What's more, before you and your's MUST iron out how you are going to raise your children; ie what religion will they be brought up in - keeping in mind that, as a Catholic parent, you are obligated to bring them up as Catholics.

Answer 10

I would have a problem signing it because I want my children to explore ALL faiths, not just the one I happen to believe in. I feel that they should have minds of their own and choose themselves what faith to follow, whether it be Catholic, Christian, Buddhist, or no belief at all.

Then again, sure he can sign the paper, that still doesn't mean that the children will believe in the Catholic faith. They will/may for a while, but after they start gaining more knowledge and asking questions, they may not believe in the religion anymore.

Make sure you both come to an agreement before you get married. There are a LOT of issues that those of different faiths have to deal with, and bringing up children in this type of relationship can be VERY hard.

Answer 11

My wife and I are life-long Catholics so this issue did not come up. I am not 100% sure but I believe you will both have to agree to raise any children Catholic. I do not think there is any paperwork to sign, but you both will be asked to make a promise.

I am not a marriage counselor or a priest but I think you and your fiance need to have a serious talk. Will he make this promise? Will he truly follow through on this promise?