There is this guy I have been talking to 1-2 times a week for a few months now. He works at my apartment complex so I can only ever talk to him when he gets off work (I have to meet him). I am starting to like him but I don't want to lose a good friendship if I tell him I like him and he doesn't share those feelings. When we talk, our conversations are pretty casual and we discuss many different topics. He always looks straight at my eyes when we talk and I can tell that when I ask him questions, he is answering honestly; however, he never has as much to ask me so I tend to hold more of the convo, but he laughs at all my jokes. I asked him to a movie a while ago and he said yes (he had to check his schedule) but couldn't because of his kids. I gave him a hug the other day as he was leaving, a surprise one, and he had this big smile on his face as he walked away, now he smiles more, but he still seems fairly detached. Am I overlooking obvious signals or is he just being nice?
2007-07-16 03:37:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, I did ask if he had a girlfriend, and he said they broke up a long time ago, though I know he still sees her because she is the mother of his children.
2007-07-16 03:48:27 · update #1
Here's the deal...it's difficult for a guy to walk up to a girl he "knows" and start talking about anything other than clothes, the weather, the building, etc. Now, add to that the fact that he's also self-conscious about having kids and being single again (prefab family), and you can see why he might be "shy". Sure, he may be proud of his kids, but they are "his" kids, not another woman's and he might not be sure how another woman will react to them, or to him because he already has them.
If he said he'd go to the movies with you, that's a good sign. He's probably a little gun-shy right now because of his breakup, plus even though he broke up with her he may still have some feelings about her...or they may still be married, just separated. In any event, if you want to move forward without scaring him off, just go slow...but you may try this: the next time you talk to him, find an excuse to put your hand lightly on his shoulder or his forearm. If he pulls back, pull your hand back. If he let's it stay, he's interested. Contact is the fastest way to find out if a guy is interested, but any overtly sexual act could spoil the situation. If he just wants to be friendly, he'll simply back away from the touch...but I suspect he'll let you touch him anytime you want. If this is the case, ask him out again sometime and don't be afraid to ask him if he wants to bring the kids. If you get into a relationship with him, you'll have to face the kids sometime and it might be good for him (and you) to see how they react to you and you to them.
Good luck.
2007-07-23 22:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's interested...but is taking it slow not to rush into anything right now. Hang in there though because it sounds like he is testing your waters, but hasn't jumped in yet. That is why he only talks to you 1 to 2 times a week. Check a little more into his social life to make sure he is not dating someone else. If he doesn't take it up a notch by next week,start looking elsewhere or ask him directly how he feels about you.Good luck!
2007-07-16 10:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by bromo5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think he likes you too. just being a bit shy about it. It seems that both of you are holding back your feelings towards each other. That movie date, if it were to happen would a great benchmark for your next step (or maybe his). Both of you are communicating to each other. Its a good signal i would say. You're just being shy, thats all. Don't hold back too much k.
p/s : Good luck!! now you can start smiling.....=)
2007-07-16 10:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by ruggers_ultima 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys are afraid of making a move because he is probably very happy talking to you because he likes you. Next time you hug him, hold him for a second and position yourself for a kiss to see if he'll kiss you. Make it obvious, look at his lips, then his eyes, but don't say "kiss me." If not, maybe he's not interested, but I'll bet he'll lay one on. Good luck.
2007-07-16 10:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by badassp51 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, if he was interested, he would have made a move by now and asked you out. He might already be in a relationship and is just being nice to you, but whatever his situation is, he's not interested in you.
2007-07-16 10:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by Frinn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he really divorced? Ask yourself if you really want to get involved with a man who has children, they will be your responsibility if this relationship goes full forward. He is flattered that you want to get to know him better. Be sure he is telling you the truth about himself before you get involved. Remember if he IS divorced, there was a reason FOR a divorce, is there something wrong with HIM??? Be careful.
2007-07-24 06:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't think he's interested in you in that way... i mean if he was he would've done the first move (like the hug thing) so ma advice, wait and act casual too until he wakes up someday and feels with something towards you and makes the move..
2007-07-24 04:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by flisety 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will tell. Just hang in there. If he is interested you will see more and more signs. Just hang back and be patient. Good Luck!
2007-07-16 10:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by Steph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah i dont think so anyway
try taking him to a lonely place and kiss him and see his reaction
or ask him if he loves u
2007-07-24 07:14:58 · answer #9 · answered by eragon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ui r just good friends...nothing else..enjoy the time n don't think or plan too much..
2007-07-24 05:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by me n myself 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋