I recently discovered that my boyfriend has been chatting online with other women and sometimes meeting them for coffee, etc. I don't have a problem with him having female friends, as we don't live very close in proximity. However, I have found some of these chats/emails extremely sexual in nature, but not with the girls that I am aware he has actually met in person. Even though some of the girls he talks to sexually, he has asked to meet, I don't see any evidence that he has actually met them. Should I confront him about this? If so, how do I explain how I know about it without giving up my secret?
2007-07-16 03:20:31 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Cheating is cheating is cheating. Move on!
2007-07-16 03:22:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of what you said, describes cheating yes. Sure it may not be the actual act of sex.. (or do you know ?) but still. If he's intentionally going online, and Meeting these girls, while knowing that hes with you, and that the emails are sexual in nature. Then he is completely aware of what might happen.
Online flirting is one thing, but if he has actually met these girls, and continues to chat them up, and sexual in nature, and tries to set up to meet them? Why is he trying to meet them? If the emails were "friends" emails, and nothing referring to sex, then fine, but come on, hes definately looking for something more than just a friend.
Id say bring it up somehow..OR.. create an online character, and start chatting him up. See how far he really takes it, plan on meeting and see the look on his face, when he sees its you.
Living close together doesnt matter in a relationship. Trust is the key. Just because you dont live close, does that mean he has to find girls online to carry on this behaviour? NO.
Im afraid you might just get hurt in the end. Do something now, and stop the worrying..and move on and then find someone closer to you, who will love you..and not need to find romance online, when they have you.
Good luck!
2007-07-16 03:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't listen to ANYTHING that DatGuy has to say. He is obviously VERY young, childish, selfish and was probably hurt by a girlfriend or his mother, so he sees EVERY relationship as poison and every woman as a man-hater who wants to castrate every male she comes in contact with. He needs some SERIOUS HELP. Anyway: Since you know she is cheating on you, you have two choices. Confront her with it, tell her you need to know the details because NOT knowing is hurting you more than knowing.There is a good book called "After the Affair". It tells what happens before,during and after, and what to do about it. It is a VERY GOOD BOOK. I recommend it highly. Also, secondly, you can pack up and leave, start a divorce, or demand that you get intense counseling as a family. But, she HAS TO STOP all outside activity. She cannot have any more outside play time. It is unfair to ALL of you.
2016-05-19 01:04:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would confront him. It isn't all fun in games sometimes. Alot of men go online just to chat. What is he chatting online with them women about? U need to created a screen name and start chatting with him. Don't let him know its u. Find out for ur self what he is saying to the other women. Keep a copy of every email that he sends u or IM. I wish u the best of luck! I hope that its just for fun........ Let me know what happens.
2007-07-16 03:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by chericeoceania 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea thats cheating. imagine it wasnt online, would you like your boyfriend to talk sexually and meet other women? no? so whats the difference if its online? would he let you talk to guys sexually online and meet them? i dont think so...
if he loved you why does he need to flirt with other women , a guy thinking about u all the time would say no to them because he is happy with you.
if it was just talking normally like friends and meetign then i would say that isnt cheating but it really doesnt seem good what he is doing does it. have u asked him about it??? i think you should (maybe he doesnt know its wrong) before he finds someone else......
2007-07-16 03:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by jezzika 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is worth giving up your secert. confrotn him about this. There should be no secerts in a relationship unless it's a suprise for a birthday or something. Most likely hes cheating or finding another girl and then goign ot dump you.
Good Luck with every thing
2007-07-16 03:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by *!*Queenie*!* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not just "online fun"...he is actively looking to meet other women. Does he tell you about his coffee dates?...how he met them?...You don't give alot of info about your relationship but long distance romances are difficult to manage at best. If I were you, I would be open to meeting somebody a little closer to home.
2007-07-16 03:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by marlio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him you know. you cant go on like this. if he is talking with other girls sexually i would consider it cheating in a way. why cant he email you and have some fun? this behavior would be OK if he was single. he has to remember he has you and he shouldn't need to get kicks of other girls.
2007-07-16 03:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by fi fi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me, If you are boyfriend and girlfriend, he should not be even wanting to meet women online. To even say he ASKS to meet them would tell me that he has the mind to cheat and potential to cheat.
I am all for each person having friends, but to go online and try after you are exclusive tells me he wants to date you and have his cake too.
You should discuss how you feel with him. Tell him what you will and will not tolerate in your relationship together. It is fine that he has friends, but to keep trying to make more and meet them?????? Would he like it if you were in the other shoes?????????? It sounds like you both are on different wave lengths.
Best wishes to you.
2007-07-16 03:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he can't be honest with you about people he's meeting, then I'd say that it's cheating. Or at least very suspicious.
If he's talking sexually with other girls, then I think you need to talk to him, and most likely dump him. He sounds like a loser.
2007-07-16 03:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by BeatriceBatten 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him you know... even if he is going to get mad at you for finding this out. If he is cheating then you probably don't want to stay in that relationship..and if you don't confront him and stay in this relationship and he IS cheating on you, you might miss out on someone else.
2007-07-16 03:25:43 · answer #11 · answered by southernsweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋