Nobody knows how hard ive found it. help?

Question

Im 14 y/o and when i was 7, i watched my brother lose his temper and basicazlly slice my mums arm open, she still has the scar. My brothwer was always very violent, even threatened to kill me once, but thankfully he moved out. But the thing is, everyone else seems to have gotten over the knife thing, but i havent. Im scared of being near anyone holding a knife near me. I havent told my family about this, what should i do? ignore it like other fears or sshould i do something? I feel pretty stupid asking this now, but oh well..

thanks to everyone for thier answers, and for giving "sl1pped_hal0" the thumbs down thing, bad rating, because that was a bad answer, and i hope she doesnt find that funny. too many people i know try suicide

Answer 1

Hi,

Don't feel stupid - you've been through a hard time. Your home is where you should feel safest and that has been taken from you at a very young age - of course it's going to take some time to get over it.

The best thing you could do is to speak to your parents about this - they know the situation and can help you. Regardless of how daft you feel, I'm sure that your parents would understand.

Try looking at http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/domesticViolence.php#young

Hopefully they can offer you some specialist support.

x

Answer 2

No child should witness what you did. I shouldn't think your Mum has fully got over it, she must have been devasted that her child could do such a thing. Adults are more able at handling things, and your Mum has put your needs first.

Phobias can be caused by traumatic experiences, and no-one is going to blame you for being so afraid. I was terrified of water after my sister threw me in a pool and I sank! I did overcome it after I saw younger kids swimming happily, though I still do not like deep water.

Is there a councelling service at your school? You need to speak to someone about this, and I am sure your Mum will understand, I expect the memory comes rushing back for her sometimes, when she see someone welding a knife.

Answer 3

Well try to talk it out to someone or try to overcome it. Your not alone, instead of a brother I would put my dad. Hes pretty violent too, he did this when was way younger. Especially when he drinks, its when he gets mad for no reason and starts getting violent. Pretty much I used go through something similar to you, but now I don't really see him. I talked to me Best Friends about it, it made me feel a little better but just the thought of what happened scares me. Oh and don't fell stupid about asking this question, this probably happened or something similar to some people like me, just not the knife part. Hope this helped but just know your not alone, I'm just glad its over.

Answer 4

If you feel like that then it is right to feel like that. You shouldn't compare yourself to others. Everyone copes/reacts in different ways and you were very young when it happened so it will have affected you more. If I were you, I would try to seek conselling. Make sure you get a good counsellor though (ask to see qualifications) because there are many amateurs out there. I think cognitive behavioural therepy would be the best - search online for more info about this (I am not specialist in this area, but I have done a little in this as work in psychology).

Good luck!

Answer 5

first of all you are not being silly...what happend to you was not normal and you are reacting natualy to something that has haughted you ever since...your brother had and may still have many emotional problems may be due to drugs or menatl health and he should get help but you have also suffered at his hands on a emotional level and it may be good for you to talk this through with a counciller or thyripist please excuse my spelling as im not very good...i spell phoneticly but i hope you understand what im typing...when someone in your family shows violent behavier then all others involved are affected...please dont think for one second that your mum has forgoton as deep down she will always remeber...just like you do..you must help yourself get over your fear of knives as you will carry this with you into adult hood and fear can hold you back from living a healthy life trust me i know..you cant deal with this alone and you will at some point need help to deal with this pain...i wish you well and i hope your brother gets the help he needs and that you can finaly move on yourself...dont fell guilty or silly about how this has affected you...

Answer 6

You should talk to your parents, that's what they are there for !, if you feel like you cant talk to them then how about talking to an aunt or uncle or grand parents ?.

Your school teachers will be able to help also and may even have counsellors on hand, or will be able to put you in touch with someone !.

The thing is most people have fears, and if you don't do anything about them / confront them, it can lead to paranoia, and even end up ruling your life.

So get your fears out in the open, talking about and understanding your feelings is the best thing to do.

All the best.

Answer 7

You have carried this fear for 7 years and it must really be terrifying. Seeing 1 person you love attack another you love and being unable to help, does leave a long-lasting impression. I really think you should let your parents know so that they can get you the right kind of help to let this go, or at least learn to live with it in the least destructive way for you. If you talk this out with a professional who deals with ALL sorts of human fears and problems I feel you will come out of it just fine. Be strong and you will see. (hugs to you)

Answer 8

I am 50 plus and my phobia is blood. My eldest child, now 37 used to have nose bleed every morning. I had to learn to cope with cleaning her bleeding nose every morning. I get hysterical once because I cut my finger my husband had to deal with my finger. You may think that is funny but I don't know why I have this fear. I have always stayed clear of potential violent situations, crowds, arguments etc. I can understand your fear it is normal after the memory of what happened why you were so young but don't allow it to hinder how you live your life. If this fear bothers you seriously then ask you doctor to refer you to someone who may be able to assist you. Best wishes.

Answer 9

Talk to a counselor, so that you can get the fears out.

You had an abnormal event happen to you (the knife incident),and you are reacting naturally (fear).
You need to learn how to react to a natural event, (someone holding a knife ) with out the abnormal (freaking out) reaction .

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

Hey There!

Your not in the 'slightest' bit stupid......I don't think it's unusual that something as traumatic as that would stay in your memory.....after all you are human!

If its bothering you a great deal to the point it's interferring with normal life then...you need to speak to someone about it,

If your unable to speak to your family about it then try your doctor....they may be able to refer you to someone....(its ok, I'm saying your crazy or anything) Maybe you just need to get it all off your chest, talk to someone about it......Talking ALWAYS helps! Never ignore anything that bothers you......No matter how small it is.

Now the past is over with you need to deal with the memories it left you with & look to the future..........GOOD LUCK

P.S You obviously arn't going to forget what your brother did but you can learn to cope with what happened and enjoy life......