My boyfriend is an incredible guy. He is sweet, good looking, funny, and smart. He is a musician and creates the most beautiful songs, some of them for me! We have been together about a year. We moved in together almost right away. I work and take care of the house while he works on his craft. Once he makes it big, he promises he will take care of me. The thing is, I love doing all this stuff. I love him and I want to take care of him, so I like doing stuff like his laundry and cooking for him. My mothers says he is using me and I should leave. I would just tell her to butt out, but she is paying for my schooling. I pay for everything else, but she pays for that and she is saying she won't anymore because I am dating a no-good. How do I explain he is not a no-good, but a rock star on the rise??? Help!!! My heart is breaking!!!
2007-07-16 02:32:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ASK him to merry you and see the result.
2007-07-16 02:42:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's footing the bills, you're pretty much at her mercy. That may not be fair to you, but she's had more life experience and is doing what she sees as best for you. What does your musician friend do all day? Does he have no income at all to help with the situation? I understand that you enjoy doing all the work - you're young and in love and looking through rose colored glasses. It might help your situation tremendously if he would at least get a part time job and turn a chunk of money over to you to help with the bills. That would show your mother that he's not a total deadbeat, and it would also show that he acknowledges what your mother is saying about him and that he wants to show her a different side of him.
You may think he's brilliant and a future star, but other people may see the situation more objectively. How would you feel if a couple of years down the road he is "discovered". Honey, he'll have all the girls he wants willing to do the laundry and clean his home and sleep with him. You'll get left behind trying to pick up the pieces of your heart. Be adult about this and realize he is, indeed, not just working on his craft but is taking advantage of your sweet nature. Do the right thing.
2007-07-16 02:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun, he may be a great guy but I definitely see your Mother's point. There's no reason he can not be helping out with the bills and things at home and still work on his music. Even a part time job, anything to make an effort. You should not have to support him 100%. I realize his music is important to him and that he "promises" to take care of you when all's said and done but a relationship is 50-50 regardless of a person's dreams. What happens if he doesn't make it big? How do you get yourself out of the trap of taking care of him then? I'm not saying you should leave him but he shouldn't be relying only on his music until things start to progress for him in that field. Has he had any gigs? Spoken with anyone that could help move him along? If all he's doing right now is writing and hasn't tried to get out there he can be helping out at home until he's started to get his name out there and had some gigs.
A friend of mine is in a band and has maintained a full time job the same time he tried to get his music out there (since 2003) because he has a family to support. Now he has gigs almost every weekend and plays at major events in my home town and still has his full time job during the week. It could take some time for your boyfriend to get big, it's not something that happens over night and he should be preparing himself for the chance that music just might not work out for him. That's only being realistic.
2007-07-16 03:02:46 · answer #3 · answered by Ersabette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm maybe he is just using you, but since you do love him very much you should sit down with your mom and tell her that. Tell her that you really need her to pay for your schooling and you dont understand why she woundn't pay just because of the guy you are dating. If you and him do break up It's not like you will just fail at life, You will have all that education under your belt and you can go out find a job and pssibly another boyfriend... Talk to your mom. It's your life.
2007-07-16 02:39:41 · answer #4 · answered by Sammm. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real issue is often buried deep. Maybe it is not about him, but about the situation. If she would feel the same about any guy, then that tells you something. She may have deep feelings about you living with someone... anyone. She may want you married if she is a "traditionalist". Have a talk with her. You and she might go together to a counselor who can "translate" the language between two generations. But the bottom line is you have to do what is best for you. Love your mother but don't let her force you to be unhappy.
2007-07-16 02:39:22 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one. How old are you? You don't say in your question. I'd also want to know what your relationship has been like with your mother up to this point. Parents usually have the best interests of their kids at heart. My thinking is there is something about your boyfriend in addition to what you've laid out here, that your Mom sees and does not like.
2007-07-16 02:44:26 · answer #6 · answered by tigrompy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what your Mom says. She is the smart one. You are infatuated with the experience of being in love, and he is not the only person out there that you can love, you know? There are tons of better opportunities for you to love someone that is better for you. Stop thinking about how much you can give him. There are tons of guys that can do what he is doing, and your mom knows it.
Do not disappoint your mom. She sounds like a great person, paying for your school. Man! I would not screw that one up. Move out and move on to something else. There's tons of opportunity out there.
2007-07-16 02:57:16 · answer #7 · answered by Atom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to your mother first off, list his good points and explain to her why you care so much about him. If that doesn't work, you may need to research ways to pay for your own schooling, scholarships, loans, grants, etc. You just have to decide if you see you two having a future together, and if you do, then stay with him
2007-07-16 02:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your big thing is that you are going to have to prove that he is capable of supporting you if his music career falls through.
The chance of him becoming famous is remote.
If he does become famous you run the chance that he starts running around on you and you need assurances he will not do that.
DO NOT play him up as a rock star say he is a musician.
Rock star conjures up a set of bad stereotypes.
Hope it works out.
2007-07-16 02:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by Nicolas C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi my name is satyendra.first of all you shouldnt tell your affair to your mother. i sugest u to spend more years with that boy.and if u love him then dont just let him go, just create a good impression on him,so that he can never leave u,n u hav not mention ur age in this question. i dont know whether this msg will reach u or not,as i dont know how to use yahoo,
2007-07-16 02:51:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Steal his songs, sell them to Britney Spears, take the money and show Mom he can provide.
2007-07-16 03:51:39 · answer #11 · answered by Whiskey Tango Foxtrot 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋