I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years (since I was 18) and I have been thinking alot lately about leaving him. He is not a bad guy, he is really sweet and funny, and he is my best friend in the whole world. I really do love him , but I feel like we just don't connect on the level that true love is supposed to . He is not romantic at all. He never wants to have sex, and when we do it is good, but not passionate. He never holds me or touches or caress me. I am the kind of person that needs passion and romance, I just feel like we are good friends. We have been through so much together, and he has never been anything but good to me. Does true passionate love exist? Should I be grateful that I have a man that loves me, won't cheat on me, has a job, and all the basics, or Do you really truely deeply "connect" with your true love? I don't know what to do....
2007-07-16 02:27:46 · 20 answers · asked by sugarplums 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been trying to tell him this for 6 years. Usually when I bring it up, he says "lets talk about it later", he only blows it off, even if I am in tears. I can not make him understand. Its like he can not comprehend how I feel.
2007-07-16 03:31:14 · update #1
Its not that it was once full of passion, and has now stopped. I remember talking to him about this for the first time about 8 mos in. Why did I stay back then? Because I was young and insecure. I thought once he "fell in love" with me, that we would have that "spark". I have repeatedly tried so many things, and always get dissapointed. To the point that I don't feel like I used to .
2007-07-16 03:41:36 · update #2
see!! never mistake the difference b/w love and sex.
True love is entirely different. from watever u say, he is in true love with u. so do stay wid him. eventually it lies with u how to get him sexually agitated. but i'm sure he's the one who can see u happy throughout...
2007-07-16 02:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by Encyclopedia 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Passion is a relative term based on how you feel at a given moment.You can find passion with anyone off the street if you feel a phsyical attraction but you will still want the love that you have now. If this guy really loves you then you should stick with it. There is a problem though. You have to look at your relationship and find out what has made him stop working for your affections and approval. You guys have fell in to the ole comfortable shoe syndrome. You've been together for 6 years and the passion is gone because your man isn't pursuing you like when you first got together. Make some changes. If you live together then move to your own place. Take trips together. Get sexier and try to seduce him.6 years and having the same thing will make things boring just like this. Honestly it takes two to make the relationship work and you need to motivate him.Make him chase you again and you'll get your passion. You never know maybe he's telling is friends "Man my girl friend is so boring now."
2007-07-16 09:52:27 · answer #2 · answered by Shinigami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never thought it existed until I met my current BF we have been together for a yr. now. until then I had a few relationships like the one you describe. here is the thing, if you feel you are settling, it is not fair to either of you - have you tried to spice it up a bit or tell him how you feel? it would be a shame to throw away a good relationship with something that can be fixed through good communication. If you have tried and that does not help, you both deserve to be happy and fulfilled. If you know you want more from a relationship - break it off before you find someone else, this guy sounds amazing and does not deserve that. but really talk with him first, let him know how you feel and that you need more. Yes you truly connect with your true love. mind body and soul connection - after knowing my guy for 2 yrs and bf/gf for a yr. we still both get butterflies when we see each other or even talk to each other (we also live together so see each other often....)
2007-07-16 09:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by brandi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has just become so comfortable in the relationship that he doesnt realize that intamacy passion and romance are just as important in a relationship than trust, honesty respect and communication....many people take their significant other for granted and just assume they will always be there....the physical romantic, passionate, and intimate side should be a reflection and a way to express to a love one what they mean to them and how much happier their lives are.not simply just do the deed and fall asleep you want to feel some comfort some reassurance some tenderness..tell him how you feel about the relationship and where you need to see some changes and see what happens..if hes not trying to make you happy in this particular area you might want to see what will ultimatley make you happy and see what else is out there
2007-07-16 09:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by GA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't forget the saying "The grass is always greener." What if you found a guy you connect with passionately but he "connects" like that with other women too. Try to think how you'd feel if you weren't with him anymore. No one can fulfill all your needs. Don't expect another person to do that. Does he make you happy? Content? That matters more that passion. That doesn't always last over time anyway.
2007-07-16 09:35:29 · answer #5 · answered by AppleFritter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married my best friend thinking that all the things you mentioned were enough. I need passion too!! We divorced, and are still best friends, but I am still in search of the passion you speak of. My advice to you is work with what you've got, and try to get your man to be more sex-citing! I think if I had communicated more with my husband/best friend it may have saved the relationship. Give him a chance to step up to the plate. Maybe he'll surprise you. Good luck.
2007-07-16 09:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by happyg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him? I hope you have talked to him seriously about how you feel, Id hate for you to have invested all this time in a relationship and leave and regret it. All relationship get into a rut sometimes and then the two of you have to get creative. Even if you leave and find someone new eventually you will get to this point. Hope this helped.
Good Luck to you!
2007-07-16 09:40:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a situation identical to this and I broke up with him and I have never regretted anything more (at that time). I really loved him but I let stupid things get in the way and he never took me back and it took me about a year to get over him. So, If you can try to work it out.
2007-07-16 09:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by Mouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. But do it in a positive way, i.e. not that something is missing but that you want to add something. And then both of you think about why the deep passion is missing and ask: what does it look like and how can we make that vision happen.
2007-07-16 09:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't settle.
But i think every one needs that butterflies in ur stomach cant get enough of their kisses making each other happy. It doesnt matter how long you've been with some one. If he didnt love you would you want him to settle or would you want to be set free to find that uncontitionaly, I'd do anything for you kind of love?
Good Luck Chick and if you need a friend email me!!!
2007-07-16 09:38:53 · answer #10 · answered by Brittney B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do truly deeply connect with your true love, true. And if u can't connect then it's much better to let go of him rather than dragging him to the aisle. it's practical to wed out of convenience but it's much better to marry someone that u really love and will do everything out of love.
2007-07-16 09:58:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋