Would it be legal to have a non-sexual relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend if I am 23 and she is 14?

Question

Shes really mature for her age and while I am attracted to her, I love her deeper than flesh, I love her mind and her abilities, I love her heart, her skills and her imperfections dearly. We are both of ages where our society would look down on us being together. I understand that whats right and wrong depends on the culture a person is in. there is no doctor who can truthfully determine the mental state of someone in love as being "abnormal" regardless of their age difference because love knows no boundaries. But I was wondering if it would be legal to have a relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend as long as it is non-sexual? I understand also that as we both grow older our views and tastes may change and I would never do anything that may end up hurting her in the future. Should I officially consider us boyfriend and girlfriend because I love her. We might get weird looks occasionally, but at least we'd be together. or should I let her go because I love her?

Thank you all who responded. I received some colorful bashings as well as understanding from many of you. I only wish I could favor more than one answer, Id favor some of the bashings as well as the understanding ones because while colorful, they do make sense.

Answer 1

If you really love her, wait at least 4 years.

Or court her, meaning you will never ever be alone with her.

Courting means you'll only see her when her parents invite you over to an event they are present at as well.

She will NEVER ride in your car.

Remember at the age of 14, she is not capable of being a girl friend or having a boy friend. She is too young to date.

If this 14 year old was my daughter, you'd only see her in church and there you would be watched very carefully.

Pastor Art

Answer 2

Wow, can you say Lolita?

Listen, do you remember what you were like at age 14? Apart from liking 14-year olds I'm guessing you've changed a lot since then. What does mature for a 14-year old mean anyway? The truth is you are putting a lot on the line for a girl who will eventually grow and up and probably even grow tired of you. I know you just wanted to know if the relationship would be legal but you can't possibly ask a question like this without expecting some preaching. As others have said, even a non-sexual relationship can get you into trouble if her parents feel like blowing the whistle.

I know you love her but there isn't only one girl for every boy. You will find someone else who you feel just as strongly about if you walk away from this relationship. There are a lot of mature 15-year olds out there. Just kidding. If you believe that she is your one and only true love and soul mate and all that then you will walk away, forgo your own happiness and allow her to have a normal childhood.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

As long as it was indeed a non-sexual relationship, there would be nothing "illegal" about it, however, it would be ill-advised. There will always be people who have suspicions about the nature of your relationship, and there's bound to be a lot of headaches along that road. It could be difficult to prove at some point down the road if someone made accusations that you and she had never been sexually active, not even once. Also, as the two of you became closer and more intimate in a relationship, it could always be a temptation, for both of you, although the repercussions would be severe. It's unfortunate that there's not a way to determine which relationships are "legitimate" and in which relationships an older partner may be pressuring a young teenager into acts they are not ready for, but you are obviously understanding of the fact that our youth do need some form of protections. There's simply not an easy answer to this. But if her family is agreeable, perhaps they would be willing to completely chaperone all of your times together until she reaches the legal age in your area, if you let them know that your intentions are in the right place? Surely it would be foolish (and potentially dangerous) to advance any further in such a relationship without the approval and knowledge of family.

Answer 4

Philip, you need to find some friends closer to your own age. However mature this young lady is, she is NOT 24. It may be that you are a little young for your age, and if she is mature, you do 'match' in some ways, but she will continue to mature and change and in a couple of years may not be someone you like very much at all!

Take a break from this friendship before it progresses anywhere it shouldn't, and find some people closer to your own age to mix with.

If, in a couple of years, you cannot get this girl out of your mind, look her up again and see if she is still interested in you.

Chances are the 'bloom' will have faded from the situation for both of you by then.

If you love her, as you say, you need to let this 'love' pass you by.

Good luck :-)

Answer 5

As a mother of a 14 year old, sexual or not your A$$ would be grass!!!! Mature or not, you cannot possible have anything in common with her, that would make a relationship feasible!!!!! You should be embarrassed and ashamed to even think this is normal or OK, leave the girl alone, let her grow up, check back in 5 or 6 years!!! Trust me , by then you will both be completely different people and will realize how foolish this relationship is !!

Answer 6

So how long b4 u get tempted?
AS a 23yr old man are u willing to REALLY go without sex?
Does her mum and dad know about this?
It is not wise to call yourselves girlfriend and boyfriend and girl she still is no matter how mature she looks or is.
Give it time and space as FRIENDS and if u still admire each other 1n 2 0r 3 yrs time then it may be worth it.After all
you may be her first real attraction but I assume you have had several attractions if not relationships.Give her space and time to grow and do what you think is really fair.

Answer 7

But see that can truly & likely just be seen as YOUR OWN O P I N I O N !?! & furthermore; If the MINORS Parents have no or very little knowledge of your association; It leaves open room to be suspicious!?! Even though you'd feel your hearts's in the right place concerning the younger one!?! There are LAWS that can put a stop to it!! & maybe JAIL the older of the two!!

Answer 8

By involving yourself with a 14 year old you are denying her the ability to choose for herself if she wants to be in a relationship with you. She is not old enough to make that decision now, I don't care how "mature" she seems she is still a child. If you enter into a relationship with her, she will become accustomed to having you in her life, and most likely dependent upon you. Then, when she is an adult and capable of making that choice, she won't be able to imagine life without you.
So, you are robbing her of that choice. And you've got some issues. Maybe you should figure out why you want a relationship with a 14 year old girl instead of someone your own age. Or at least someone who is an adult.

Answer 9

Hmm I saw this in a video once and the FBI I think it was was taking away a 21 year old who was meeting a 14 year old.

Don't drop the soap!

There are alot of people in the world who aren't minors, I think you could do much better.
The love she feels for you can't be the same at that age and what abut your love for her, she will be changing for years yet and the end result you may not like.

Save yourself and run.

Answer 10

Didn't even have to read all of your excuses. SHE IS JAIL BAIT, and you are asking for trouble. All you have to be is "accused" by the parents or her, in a temper tantrum, and your life is shi*t.

Grow up and hang with people your own age, or at least over 18. If I were the judge and you confessed to even telling her that you loved her, I'd toss you in a cell with a 300# cell mate named BUBBA who'd be calling you darling. Get it??