Why do I still feel horrible for breaking up with a girl after she told me she had herpes?

Question

I recently dated a girl (we never had sex) and everything was golden. I had only been with her for two weeks but in that short time I gained her trust and she broke it to me that she had genital Herpes. I was crushed when I heard this but at the same time I realized that this being the first girl i had ever even given a chance I couldn't afford to risk being infected. The thing is I feel like such a horrible person and I can't get the image of the sadness in her eyes of when I chose to break it off. It just keeps eating away at me and I feel so sad for her. I hadn't shed tears in well over 3 years but this one girl managed to break me like no one before. I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice. I mean, I would have wanted a second chance. i know I would have. I'm just so lost right now I don't know what to think or what to feel. I wish I could turn back time and take away the burdens in everyone's life... I still talk to her as a friend but I can tell she still wants more.

Answer 1

You did the right thing. I wouldn't date any girl I knew had herpes. Unless you really love her and don't mind getting herpes I would stay away from her.

You may not like the girl after a few years then you will get herpes too.

Answer 2

I have herpes and being rejected is the one thing I really live in fear of because I don't know how I would get over it.

I have had to tell three men and all have been fine, but every day I have a dread of one day being rejected for something I didn't ask for and can't control at all, and that has nothing to do with who I am as a person. The irony is that I struggle to deal with herpes because of this, the stigma - the physical reality has been a walk in the park.

I do kind of understand - my sister caught herpes several years before I did and I thought she was untouchable. I didn't know anything about herpes I just knew it was something you had 'for life' and you didn't want. I thought people were infectious all the time but that isn't true either. There are many things you can to to help prevent catching it. Physically, apart form the initial outbreak, it isn't all it is cracked up to be at all. In fact 80% of people who have it have it so mildly they don't realise. One in four women has herpes.

I think you must have really hurt her, she must be very forgiving if you are still friends. It was a very big thing for her to tell you. Like someone else said, she doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for her, she just wants to be accepted for who she is, herpes and all.

Answer 3

Firstly,we all wish that we can take away everyones burdens but we can't.It is only natural that you are still feeling horrible,but who am i to say that.
i can only give you advise,but you are the one who makes the choice.trust is a big thing in a relationship and once when it is broken it is hard to replace it,but keep in mind that maybe she didn't ask for it to happen to her and maybe she kept it from you for a reason,only she will know why she did what she did.so the choice is yours,if you really feel anything for her and you want to be more than just friends,then you will both work together to make the most of it and you will stand by her side but she will also have to prove herself to you too and prove that you can trust her again.otherwise if you only want to stay friends then do that but support her through everything that lays ahead for her.
so the point is that you will feel horrible for breaking up with her after what you have heard and stuff like that and the only way for you to feel better is for you to go to het and speak your heart out to her and to listen to her side as well and make a choice of getting back together or just staying friends,it helps a lot to speak your heart out,believe me,i've been through the same and i've succeeded at the end.good luck!!!

Answer 4

Herpes is a controllable disease now. There are medications that suppress the viral outbreaks, and just leading a healthy lifestyle will prevent most outbreaks. You should read up more about what herpes is and isn't and then make a decision about whether or not you want to call this girl back. I definitely understand how you feel, but you need to get educated about what you may or may not be up against and then make a decision on what you are going to do.

Answer 5

As long as she takes a medicine for it, you should be ok. You probably were panicking beyond the need to, if she is so conscientious and responsible to tell you, then she likely has sought treatment for it and has medication. If you see sores, don't have sex. If you don't, it should be ok. Simple as that. Don't let it ruin a good thing. Some people are overly touchy about STDs today. If she said she had HIV, that would be another story, then you would be right to break it off. A lot of times, Herpes goes away on its own, too. Have you ever had a cold sore? You've had the Herpes virus yourself.

Answer 6

I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.

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Answer 7

My appropriate pal has had genital herpes for approximately 8 months now, and this is been incredibly tough. She's had approximately 7 outbreaks. everywhere I study it says it stops flaring up a lot after time, yet its no longer getting much less commonly used for her. She's been on Antiviral meds the finished time, too. She additionally has form one million diabetes which she has had her entire existence, which incredibly weakens her immune device. Will it ever get extra useful? yet after a pal share this video each little thing has replaced. organic secure Herpes treatment?

Answer 8

I think that you went with your gut and ended it to keep yourself safe. Not that it is bad, just a gut protective reaction.

But your feelings on the matter are obviously not so cut and dried. IF you want more, then you need to talk to her and let her know that it was a gut reaction and that you were shocked, surprised, whatever and you know that you hurt her and you are sorry and would like to try again.

If you know that you really do not want to be with her and are feeling guilty, you need to ease out even a friendship with her. If you can tell she still wants more this may not be helping. As well, you will not feel horrible every time you talk to her.

Be honest with yourself as to why you are still involved with her, even just as a friend, and then be honest with her.

Good luck.

Answer 9

SHE TOLD YOU! I think that counts for something.. She could of just had sex with you and gave herpes to you like it was for her. There are Medicines like Acyclovir, Valtrex, Famvir and zovirax, which will do wonders at suppressing and prevent outbreaks. Read up on more Herpes information at RemedyHerpes.Com. http://RemedyHerpes.Com .I have known a few people who have the Herpes virus and under proper care, never spread the virus to their partners. I give Her courage for telling you. Give her a chance.

Answer 10

Sounds more like the reason you broke up with her is because she had herpes. Herpes is a serious matter but it can be handled with care for you not to be infected. She chose to be up front with you because she felt you would be able to deal with the news. She was counting on you liking her more than disliking her disease. She unfortunately had the misfortune of misjudging you. You should feel bad if her having herpes is the reason you broke up with her. You condemned the relationship for something that she cannot change. It would be like breaking up with someone because you found out they have a prosthetic leg. You feeling "sad" for her is not what she wanted. She wanted you to accept her for who she was and you didn't. If you can't accept her for who she is completely you need to tell her just that.