ok so my bf of 2.5 years and i got into a huge fight on friday (the worst it's ever been) b/c i have PMDD and my symptoms cause me to put him through hell. basically it came down to him either forcing me to go back to my house or he was going to jump in his car and leave. i left w/him telling me he loved me, would call me everyday, and that i could call him if i needed anything. i called Sat only to tell him about a fish tank that was on sale-he was nice to me, telling me about his day then we hung up w/him telling me he loved me. i called back that afternoon in tears (got his voicemail) telling him i was scared we weren't going to make it but he never called back.
i called him again today while on the way to his neice's b-day party (he didnt go) but no call back.
ended up stopping at his house-he let me in, we made love (best it's ever been) then got ready for work. i felt we needed to talk about what happened..
please read rest-important
2007-07-15 18:31:13 · 9 answers · asked by dncer228 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i asked him what was wrong b/c he seemed upset-he said he was still stressed out and i told him i was very sorry and i decided that if i ever did that to him again-that i would break up with him for good b/c i didnt want to hurt him that badly ever again.
then i asked if we were going to make it he said "i hope so." i got upset and he said he just needed some space and that it would take time for us to get back to the way we were. he then asked for my garage door opener back (the one he gave me) b/c when i get into my fits-he's afraid i'll just come over to the house and invade his space-causing us to break up.
he said i need to just let things go the way they are and not to smother him or force it or it was going to fall apart.
he kissed and hugged me goodbye and told me that he loved me.
what do i do? i want to give him the space (and no he won't cheat on me-all of my stuff is still in his house and i have all of his passwords to voicemail,email,etc).
will he leave?
2007-07-15 18:31:34 · update #1
keep in mind that my PMDD is NOT PMS. it's a serious condition and i take birth control pills for it but didnt take them last month-huge mistake.
we've talked marriage/living together but not till i'm better and i also have 3 girls that he loves dearly and i dont seem him just walking away from them.
help!!!!!
2007-07-15 18:32:51 · update #2
I would suggest for him to go to the doctor with you so you both can ask questions about PMDD. Or even if there was someone who he could talk to about your condition on his own in case he felt uncomfortable. If he's told you that he still loves you and at the same time be honest and tell you that he needs space/time to work things out, I think there may be a chance for you guys. And if there is some reason that it wouldn't work out, I think you would be the kind of couple to stay close.
2007-07-15 18:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by wh_pirate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you do as he asks, he could end up leaving you - there are no guarantees. However, if you don't give him the space he's asking for, I'd say he's a lot more likely to leave, because then on top of everything else, you're not respecting his right to have the space to make a decision for himself. You can't control his decision, and if you continue to smother him, he's only going to resent it and probably want to break up. He sounds like a nice guy and it sounds like he cares about you. It also sounds like he doesn't want to lie to you, because even though he knew it would upset you, he said "I hope so" instead of "Yes" when you asked if the two of you were going to make it.
For now, my advice would be not to call him more than once a week and not to send more than one email or card a week. Any email that you do send, try to keep it light and something that he doesn't feel obligated to respond to (such as a "thinking of you" e-card, rather than a rambling email about your relationship that would require him to answer questions).
In the mean time, I would take some time to talk to a counselor or a support group or something. I'm not really familiar with your condition, but no matter how much pain you might be in, it doesn't MAKE you treat someone poorly. For example, do you treat your boss this way? I'm guessing not, or you wouldn't have a job for long. The point is, sometimes when we're feeling moody, we feel free to take it out on the people we love the most. That needs to stop now, and you need to come up with a good plan for making that happen.
2007-07-15 18:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by PJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as hard as it is, you need to give him the space he is asking for. Use the time to take care of yourself, think over the problems yall have been having and how to improve them, etc. Don't contact him, let him come to you when he's ready and misses you. If you see him somewhere, greet him as a good friend. Smile, attempt to look nice, just show him the side of you he loves- the content, fun, happy you. If he truly loves you, and you guys have a chance at a future, he'll come back- the ones who love you always do, and the ones who don't you need to let go of anyways
2007-07-15 18:37:00 · answer #3 · answered by Megan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you already talked marriage although not until your condition improves - then he is willing to commit. Do not worry about him leaving it will only put more stress on you and make the condition worse.
Tell him that you really need help, and go talk to the doctor together. He needs to be there so he can ask as many questions as he wants in order for him to help you. The doctor can also refer you to the neares psychologist for counselling if needed. Tell him that help is always there, people who support their loved ones who are ill need help sometimes. They are under alot of stress as well.
2007-07-15 18:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by bronzedgal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well every relationship has bumps good work on what ya did its very nice some people don't do that and if he's lasted that long maybe he wont. It's his choice What would be the point of ending so much happiness after so long right? Maybe he won't i feel his emotions I've gone through 4 years of it and I'm still with her i dont think he will.
Good luck on your relationship hope ya get married =],
2007-07-15 18:36:57 · answer #5 · answered by Blood Lust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu should give your b/f some space. when you'r too smothering, they have a tendency to want space and distance and you'll feel hurt over it. I know it's hard, but try to occupy yourself w/something else in the time being. once you pull away a bit, he may feel scared that he's losing you and come back. It's like a game of tango, usually the one who cares the most hurt the most, you need to show him that you dn't really need him THAT much and he'll have the fear that he may lose you and come running back to you. Good luck.
2007-07-15 18:36:58 · answer #6 · answered by anonymous100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is working toward you having a relationship when you are better. You are the one who failed to take your medication and went off your rocker.
Cut the guy some slack. Quit trying to cling to him every minute. He is there for you but he needs a little space. Trust him and things will probably work out all right.
2007-07-15 18:40:02 · answer #7 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many times will you be asking this question tonight? My answer is the same. You need to control your behavior and quit blaming it on a non-existent psychological disorder that allows drug companies to sell more pain pills to women. If you can't control your behavior then he needs to find a woman who will treat him right.
2007-07-15 18:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Umm what are you speaking approximately? Its no longer in basic terms them...there are SOOO many impolite human beings on Y!A. era. NO particular race. NO particular faith. impolite all human beings is impolite human beings.era.
2016-10-21 10:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by alpers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋