Why did he commit to her and not me?

Question

I was best friends with this guy for 2 years when we started dating. It was like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together (yes that sounds cheesy). BUT, he told me three months into it that he couldn't do it and that he just wasn't ready for me. His reason was that he would fall in love me and I would break his heart. He said that he never wanted to commit to someone and settle down because he doesn't believe in marriage. Can someone explain this to me? I am 22 and he is 29. Now he is dating his ex-girlfriend and he tells me that he wants to marry her and she that she is moving in with him soon. We stopped talking after he told me this (2 months ago) but now I'm wondering if my hurt and sense of betrayal are justifiable?

Answer 1

in a sense, it is. when he said he wasn't ready, he probably meant not ready to settle down with you. i'm guessing he didn't want to tell you that because it would've hurt you're feelings.

it's worse that he told you he was settling down with his ex, but it was absolutely necessary.

you're still young, maybe that's what he's afraid of. you may still want to experiment (or not, i don't know you) but he's almost 30.

early 20s and late 20s really does a number on the psyche, people start thinking about their lives long term when they near 30.

it's OK to be upset, but it's more a matter of age than it is of chemistry.

Answer 2

He probably doesn't believe in marriage and found a better mark in this girl. You should thank God that you don't have to deal with such a liar. (BTW--he was giving you bull when he said he would fall in love with you. He was probably seeing her the whole time)

The problem with us women is that we think the woman that gets the marriage ring won the race for the man in question. Problem is, the man does not change because you put expensive jewelry on his finger.

Give it time, you will find in 10-15 yrs., the same jerk will have cheated on this girl with other women--even though he was married. He seems unsavory, don't wallow in why you didn't win. Marinate in the thought that you could have been stuck to this jerk, and thankful to God, you are free for a good man!

Answer 3

his ex? he was probly in love with her and had given up on her. but when you love someone better judgement gets in the way. even if you are the better girl, he will probly never see that. if she wanted him back and wanted marraige he would take her back. he probly told you that he didnt want marraige because he knew somewhere he didnt want to commit to someone in case there was a chance his old flame wanted him back. he held out in the hope that she did and in this case thats what it looks like.

it is justifiable that you feel this way because from what youve said he forgot to mention a lot of truth about his feelings towards you. you have every right to feel the way you do but if he really was in love with her you cant blame him, no matter how hard it may be. i mean if it was you in that position and your ex you were in love with wanted you back what would you do?

sorry but thats really the only thing that makes sense. it sucks pretty big balls but you know.. give it time. it gets better

Answer 4

No, they're not justifiable. You fell for the standard "it's not you, it's me" guy line for a quick and mostly painless break up and now he's found someone he really likes and you are jealous.

Answer 5

his loss. at least your not 50 go out and make better friends.

Answer 6

please, men say the cheeeziest crap just to break up and can never be honest. he is a piece of s**t, and trust me when he feels the same in 2-4 yrs about her, then you got your answer. i would confront him and then embarrase him infront of her and definitely call him on it and call him a P***Y. then move on.