How can I convince her to let me see him?

Question

I have to see one of the guys that sexually abused me everyday during the school year and it's really hard for me. However, I found this WONDERFUL guy. He's sixteen and he lives in Philadelphia. I am thirteen and live just south of Pittsburgh. We don't see each other much, but I really want to be with him. He can look at my body and freak out over my scars because he has them too. We talk on the phone 24/7 and he tells me that he wants to be with me for all his life. I know he means it. He wants to show me love and hold me when I'm upset.. I want it badly too. I want to wake up to him and have him tell me I'm beautiful. I want him to kiss me and let me sleep on his chest. He's the only thing that's keeping me alive.. He's talked me out of suicide so often and if I didn't have him, I'd be dead right now. My mother refuses to let me go to see him though and he can't drive by himself for six months. I want to runaway and live near him. How can I see him more? Any advice on how NOT to run?

Oh, we've talked about sex awhile ago and we both decided sex was NOT going to happen anytime soon and he knows that I was abused. He wants to take it slow and not rush into it. I'll admit, he does have sexual urges, but he knows that after the abuse and only being thirteen, I'm not ready and he's willing to wait.

He's about 306 miles away though and it's hard. I just want to be able to see him in person and lay in his arms for a few hours, nothing sexual. The most that would happen is a few kisses. We haven't seen each other in person since he left to go back to Philadelphia (which was last year).
Thank you for being concerned about that though. I guess I really didn't specify it..

Answer 1

Hey, i don't want to give you crappy advice and claim that you're too young because I'm 17 and only a few years older than you. This guy is probably a great guy, but like you've said you've been sexually abused and have had thoughts of suicide...It was great of him to be there for you and I'm sure that he loves you just as much as you love him, but one thing; don't let yourself become dependent on him.. that is the WORSE thing you can do right now.. Worry more about yourself right now.. Try hard in school because love has distracted me from school work and I know how tough it is when you can't have someone you love. I'm in that situation right now, unfortunately.. you knwo what though? Love is patience and that is what I've come to learn. If you two love each other and truly feel you'll be together for a long time, then don't rush things now. Don't run away from home. Patience is the key. The rest of your lives together is a LONG time so what's a few months going to do? For now, grow and become an individual. I'll state it again because it truly is tough, but do not become dependent. Next time if you feel like running away or suicide try to run to an older person, a church, a parent, a close friend. Don't always rely on one person there is plenty of help and plenty of people to give you advice and console you. Always remember to be strong and have that patience no matter how frustrating and desirable it becomes to just leave everything behind and be with the person you love.

Answer 2

Although your mother is late, she is right in trying to help you set some boundaries on your physical relationships with men. You are too young to be having these kinds of relationships with men or boys that are three years older than you are now. I understand your need for physical affection but try to wait and talk with your mother about this. See the school counselor or a professional therapist. I know it is very sad to remember the things that have happened to you, and that you feel safe with this boy who has had similar experiences. However he is at an age where his physical urges will be rising, and you are not ready to be in this situation. In a few years, maybe you can get together then. Please try to do other things, to get sex off your mind. There are many activities and hobbies you can engage in, and more age-appropriate things than spending your time in the arms of a boy.