Children's birthday parties? Is it rude to just drop off the child and other siblings?

Question

My daughters 7th birthday was last weekend. We had it at home, a fairy theme, and I hired a 'Tinkerbell' fairy queen to entertain the kids. The thing is, it cost x dollers per child who attended (after the nominal fee). That was fine, but I explained this in the invites (which were given out 3 weeks ahead of the date), and asked for definite RSVP's from parents. On the day of the party, 8 parents who hadn't RSVP'd showed up and dropped their kids off, 1 mom even dropped off her other 3 kids, another mom dropped off her 9 month old! Am I right to be annoyed, is that incredibly rude or am I over reacting? I stressed on the invites that a fee must be paid per child, which is why RSVP was so important, I ended up paying out an extra $235 on the day to cover all the extra kids! Should I say something? Obviously I know not to invite them again, but to the parents who dropped off the extra siblings as well, do you think it's worth saying anything?

Tammer, I hardly think it's rude not to invite siblings! This was a 7 year olds birthday party, not a family gathering for a baby. And yes, I would absolutely have told them not to bring siblings if they'd approached it on rsvp. It was quite clear, the invites were to the child only.

Answer 1

YES extremely rude. Dropping off siblings that is. I don't have a problem with them dropping off the invited child and leaving them (even though unless I was told that was OK, I'd never just assume it is) I won't even bring uninvited siblings to a birthday party, unless they came out of their way to say it was OK (not counting baby's).

In my experience these are usually people who are attempting to ditch their kids for a few hours (free babysitting)

Answer 2

I haven't noticed a trend but in my circle it's customary to have drop off parties after about the age of 4. In my own experience, I've found it to be entirely TOO stressful to have 2 parties (one for the moms and one for the kids), 2 sets of refreshments, twice the amount of cleanup, pressure to host and manage the kids at the same time... you get the idea. I actually think a party w/out grownups is much more manageable! Then again, I am a big believer in not inviting every single child in the class to the party. My kids have never had more than 10 guests at their parties.

Answer 3

I think you should definately say something to the parent of the 9 month old. But as to the other parents just don't invite them or next time say only people that have rsvp can come and stress that on the invitation that way if they show up say I am sorry but I told you I needed a for sure answer

Answer 4

i would never invite them again especially the one who dropped off her 9 month old,that is so rude.I had a huge pizza party for my daughter at Chuck E Cheese and I stressed when her friends rsvp that if extra kids come the parents had to pay for them and anything extra they wanted that was not covered on the package I payed for,especially tokens I gave the kids a certain amount and when they ran out I told those kids ask there parents for more.Thats not being rude you have already paid a certain amount,some parents will try and take advantage of you,do not let them.
Personally I would talk to the parents who left there kids one on one and expalin how upset you are that they left ther kids there and the siblings,the siblings are not friends with your daughter.Most parents will not let other sibiling come to the party enless you know them real well and do not mind.Stand your ground,its your money not there's.

Answer 5

I have to ask why did you allow them to leave the siblings? I would have said "excuse me but you need to take your kids". Very rude of them to do this I would though probably saying nothing after the fact./ It is too late but as they arrived to those who did not RSVP I would have told them I presumed they were not coming as I had said RSVP's were a must. If your strong enough add that you hadn't catered for them and you are very sorry (I couldn't do that though) I tend to catch all those who are invited and check pre party whether they are coming or not (also adding as the RSVP point had passed)

Answer 6

Tammer.. the reason she would not invite the siblings is because her child most likely does not know the siblings and the siblings are not her daughters age perhaps.

This is completely rude for mothers to do such a thing.. free baby sitting? i do not think so.

Answer 7

omg these people who do they think they are???? Why did you let them leave a 9 month old??? And who did they drop the 9 month old with?? I would have had the kids call their parents back and tell them leaving their baby there was seriously inappropriate. Please contact these people and let them know what they did was wrong wrong wrong!!! And dont invite them again!

Answer 8

That is crazy of the parents - the 9 month old thing is way out of line.

However, it also seems to be a crazy policy, for an entertainer to charge per kid. Is that typical?

Answer 9

Would you have told them the other kids were not welcome had they RSVP'd?

Would you have asked them to pay for the other children?

I would say it was rude, however some people are just that way. They assume if u invite one you invite their siblings too..... It is also rude not to invite the siblings , its hard for a child to get told they are not invited, they dont understand.



I personally wouldnt say anything but i wouldnt have hired someone that i had to pay per child. I hired a dora for my daughters party, and i was a package amount.

Answer 10

it is rude!!! 9 months old.. what was she thinking??? I don't know that I'd say anything, you aren't going to get any of your money back and you will just burn bridges...