He says that the profiles are old and he just hasn't had time to change them...but he made those profiles AFTER we already met. He says that he loves me, so why is he putting such things in his AOL profile, as well as his Myspace account?
We have been together for 3.5 years, and he has NEVER given me any reason to distrust him. I don't mean to sound like I don't trust him, but it makes me wonder...
2007-07-15 16:56:03 · 18 answers · asked by Fallaya 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he lied to you about the online profiles, there's no telling what else he may have lied about. And if he doesn't consider you to be his true love after 3 and a half years, that to me seems like a clear warning sign. If you believe that the online profile thing is the only fluke in the relationship, you may want to work on the relationship with him a bit more. But if you can't get past the online profile incident, it may be time to cut him loose. It's entirely up to you, but make sure you weigh the options carefully.
2007-07-15 17:03:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe there is something going on and he is missing something from your relationship. But he doesn't know how to tell you. Maybe you need to write down like 5 questions and say they came from a article you read in a magazine about making sure the bond is strong in your relationship. Think hard on the five questions too. Because if they are the right ones they can hit on something he doesn't want to bring up. You should both write answers to the questions and then switch them and when you see his answers don't be mad but be really honest and ask him why he feels a certain way. And vice versus. Such questions can be, is our love as strong as when we first started dating? How much has our love grown in the last few years? Are there any ways to improve our relationship? If so what ways are they? Stuff like that, til you can get him talking about what is really going on. He probably is feeling a bit bored. And since guys don't like feeling like the bad guy, they always try to find another prospective mates instead of trying to work things out in the current relationship. But I think the questions will help if he is open to answering them honestly. Good Luck.
2007-07-15 17:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the fact that he made them after you guys met is a big sign! You need to calmly tell him that you want him to erase those profiles, because really if you guys have been together for almost 4 years, that is totally inappropriate (in my opinion at least).
Trust me when I say this, that I've been through this, and you have already taken his word for it the first time, giving him the benefit of the doubt. But now it is time to be serious about this, because there is nothing worth being with someone who is untrustworthy.
Ask him to please remove it, and tell him if he does not, that you are going to assume that he is looking for someone else. If that becomes the case, get rid of him, he's not worth it. I know it will be hard, but you will find someone else. You sound like a trusting and loving person who deserves someone equally so. If he does erase it, you will know that he respects your feelings, and you can learn and move on from this together.
Good luck and best to you!
2007-07-15 17:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by AnswerWhore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I can relate to that very well....
3.5 years is along time, but are you his one true love? Sometimes people mistake time as a definite answer to a lifelong companion. I think he might mean it in a spiritual way, more than just not claiming you. Besides, when you two first met, how was he suppose to know if you two were going to be together for a long time? That was probally his aspiration when he met you.
Relationships and online profiles always cause drama..I KNOW!!....I suggest you talk to him and ask him to update his profile out of respect for you, and you should do the same.
2007-07-15 17:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely have a problem if I was u. Be very cautious, this is a major warning flag, and a big no-no. Wouldn't u want a man that would take the TIME to ease u'r mind. I wish he would recreate new profiles of u both as a couple. He is no longer single, but he is still looking. More than one profile means this was no accident.
2007-07-15 17:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by LadyRedWild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are asking this question is because you are not so trusting of him. As a guy, i think is not being honest with you. If the profiles bother you he should remove them and not make excuses. If the remain then I'm sorry but he might not be totally honest with you.
2007-07-15 17:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by armandingo71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would be a little upset to. I would just in a nice way ask him if he would mind changing it. That way he knows it bothers you but you are not nagging and gripping at him to change it. Then see how he responds. If it is still up there tell him, well I hope you find your true love one day to. That will get the message across.
2007-07-15 17:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this, but he HAS just given you a reason to distrust him. Either he is still looking, or he is a liar.
2007-07-15 17:03:29 · answer #8 · answered by Princess Picalilly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum - either fix it within 3 days or go find his true love and you will go find yours! Don't waste any more than your 3.5 years on this shi* a*s. How dare he! I would be absolutely furious! Have more self worth than putting up with his nonsense, please. Why do you want to stay with a liar?
2007-07-15 17:01:48 · answer #9 · answered by DPL06351 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try asking him if he really thinks that you're his true love, and if he says yes, then ask him to remove those things from his profile, if he does, then trust him and take his word that those are old, he obviously cares that you care if he takes those out.
2007-07-15 16:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by x3tbrown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋