Why Do People Think It's Necessary To Provide Their Guests w/.....?

Question

a babysitter?

Is this a new trend? Why is it that parents have such a hard time understand that a wedding (especially a night one) is not a place for children. In the 80's when I was young, I remember my parents going to weddings and other formal night events. They did not go often, but when they did we did not go. My parents explained that weddings were adult only affairs and children weren't always invited. In fact, I didn't attend my first wedding until I was 20.

When my parents went out, I would stay w/ one of my aunts or one of my grandparents. If it was an event on my mom's side, my father's mother would watch me. If it was something on my dad's side, same thing, my maternal grandmother would watch me.

I don't understand why it's up to the bride and groom to provide a daycare at their expensive reception site. I'm not trying to sound like a bridezilla, but it's crazy.

I'm a firm believer in accomidating my guests. However, I just don't see the point of this.

A wedding invite is sent 6-8 weeks before the wedding. I would consider that acquate time to find childcare.

If you can't find someone, then both or one of the parents should stay home. I remember times when my mom would go to an event, but my dad would not. If they're no babysittter, you make a sacrifice.

What do people think?

Why do these parents think they can have their cake and eat it too?

For the record, I'm having 2 children at my wedding. Just my flower girl and ringbearer.

I'm not inviting the children of our friends or distance relatives. I consider it far that the two children in the wedding party can stay. But, I think it gets a little crazy w/ 12 kids.

I went to a wedding once. My boyfriend was a groomsmen. The table behind us was filled w/ the children of the wedding party MEMBERS. The kids were so loud and were running around crazy.

I would never be upset if they could not come. I'd like them there, but they need to do what's best of their families. However, in my experience most parents CAN find sitters.

Answer 1

personally i find it odd too. i am not a parent yet, but when (if) i become one, i would rather leave my child with a babysitter I know, not some stranger that i am suppose to hand them too.

Saturdays are peak babysitting times aren't they? all the young people out of school? i would think if they knew a great deal in advance, they should be able to have their own babysitter.

Parents have to make choices when they have kids, they can't just go to the places they use to ( LIKE THE MOVIES!!!). they should be able to get their own sitter or not go to the wedding. they choose to have children, it is not your job to decide how they are taken care of.

if any brides decides to have a babysitter, they are very gracious, but it should not be expected of them.

Answer 2

Actually, I consider a wedding the perfect place for children, as a wedding is about family. The people I'm inviting have children and the kids are welcome to come as well, no matter what age they are.

I feel providing a babysitter is a great idea, especially if you have out of town guests that do not want to leave their young ones so far away. It would be more incentive to attend so now they cannot use I can't find a babysitter as an excuse.

But, it is really up to the bride and groom. If they don't want kids, then none are allowed. Its their prerogative.

Me, I'm allowing kids to attend my wedding.

Answer 3

Not all couples decide on doing this and I wouldn't call it a trend just yet. A lot of couples are big when it comes to family and want to include even the littlest ones during the reception. Instead of seating them at their own table and causing problems, as it seems you have sat through, couples are opting for a babysitter and activities for the kids. Some even go as far as hiring a face painter or clown to make sure the adults can have fun and not have to worry about their kids. My family is very large and some of my cousins have 3-4 kids so I will definitely be a bride who gets some sort of entertainment for the little ones - to make sure my cousins can attend.

Answer 4

I agree totally. Couples don't have a problem going to the bar, movies or dinner without their kids, but they sure have a problem with a wedding. And then you'll find that the gift you get from a family will be cheaper compared to the expense. I never heard of a bride and groom hiring a babysitter, but that doesn't sound like a bad idea. It might be cheaper to hire a couple of babysitters at $6-7/hour rather than pay $50-$75/per plate for food for each kid and put up with the noise. The only problem is, where would the babysitting occur; someone's home, a hotel, basement of a church? But even if you do provide a sitter, you'll still get a cheap gift from the couple who has a family.

Answer 5

I was pressured into having kids too. In fact, some of them I wanted there because I have 2 nephews who were my ring bearers. I partnered them up with 2 close friends kids who were my flower girls. I didn't want any bridesmaids because I was a bridesmaid 4x and only wanted my sister as Maid of honor.

My MIL insisted on inviting all these other kids, and I was not happy but I went along with it. We had 12 kids total, youngest was 6 mths to 13 y. o. I got married at a formal
reception venue in nyc, and the kids were perfectly happy.
I shouldn't have even hired a babysitter, she was a waste of money because the kids were so well behaved. I did prepare for this by making goody bags for the kids with nyc cabs and other theme toys. I had cup cakes for the kids for dessert and hired an origami artist in the corner of the reception. DON'T SIT them w/out the parents, give them the gift bags and they'll be fine. I had a 6 mth old and she was wonderful.

I'm not saying yours will go as smoothly but to be honest the baby sitter and my MIL were more childish at the reception.

Answer 6

I don't know - it's crazy. Like we would let our kids be looked after by strangers!
Children definitely belong at weddings, both the ceremony and reception. Weddings are celebrations for families! As we were growing up, we went to lots of weddings as children - so we could visit, meet relatives we didn't see that often, learn to dance, and all those great socializing things. And now, with our own family, we all go together for weddings. Out of probably 20 weddings we have gone to, not one has specified adults only - that's just crazy! And the weddings have ranged from casual backyard to fairly formal.

Answer 7

I'm having kids at my wedding, we said to everyone with kids that they were more then welcome to come if the parents wanted to bring them, and if they do I see it as the parent's responsibility to look after their own children, I would never take my child to a function and then not watch her to make sure she was safe and not being naughty. If I could not bring my child then I would not attend the event (i can't afford a babysitter), I would politely decline and send a nice card and gift, but I do see it as the parent's responsibility to mind their children if they are invited to a wedding/event.

Answer 8

I went to a wedding years ago when I was about 14 with my mom. I did not really know the couple getting married. They had asked me to sit at the kids table to watch them. I enjoyed the event and did not expect to be paid. Do you have someone you could ask?

Answer 9

We're not even having a ring bearer and flower girl! My family members that have kids can't wait to have a night out. And I would like everybody to be able to dance without tripping over kids rolling around on the floor.

I absolutely agree with you, but I guess some people feel better if they can accommodate everyone as much as possible. To each their own, I guess.

Answer 10

I don't think you need to provide babysitters. Most people can make arrangements with a sitter in advance.

It's a wedding not kindercare. Plus providing babysitters leaves you liable. Toddler A bites Toddler B and they go after the employer that hired the babysitter. Guess who!