I broke up with my boyfriend about a week ago. Over the course of a year and a half, he cheated on me a few times and never stopped sending inappropriate emails to countless other women. I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and if I didn't love and respect myself enough to let him go, then how could I possibly expect him to love and respect me. Anyway...even though he wasn't faithful to me, he treated me like a queen in every other way you can imagine. Unfortunately, the cheated was just too much of a flaw for me to bear. I have decided that he is a good person, just not good in relationships.
Even though he cheated on me people might think it should have been an easy decision to make. Well, turns out, it was the hardest decision of my life. To let go of someone I loved so damn much.
So, my question is, is it possible for me to have a friendship with him in the future without my heart getting in the way? He is a good person...just not a good boyfriend.
2007-07-15 15:29:41 · 7 answers · asked by Me baby Me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It may (emphasis on may) be possible to maintain a distant friendship with this person, but "it will never be the way it was before." You may be commited to keeping the relationship at the friendship level, but there is no guarantee that he will not attempt to pressure you for more...for just one night...just once more like old times...for just this or that. Or, you may find yourself "accidentally" flirting with him or acting in ways that you use to. Then it will be you putting the pressure on.
Ultimately, he has proven himself untrustworthy. Treating you like a "queen" should have included being faithful. He may be a "good person," but is he really "good" for you? Having a close friendship now will be more challenging than the actual relationship was. Having a distant friendship will allow old memories to linger and increase the time it takes for you to heal. Not seeing him at all may give you an entirely new perspective.
Good luck on your decision.
2007-07-15 15:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Edenia 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you can observe the following barriers, it just might be possible:1)can you make and keep the distinction between boyfriend and romantic boyfriend2)can you prevent your heart, as you said, from getting in the way3)can you control your hormones from betraying your true emotions and also deny the sexual desires.At this point in time, I believe you can not maintain the barriers and you will wind up trying to rekindle this relationship. You sound like you are still very much in love with this guy and might be willing to listen to future promises of fidelity Right now you will only be another "booty call" to this guy.So as painful as it is for you now(your emotions are still raw), your best course of action is not to be friends with him until you have a much firmer grasp of your feelings.Be good to yourself and wait a while.I wish you a quicker and less painful period of restoration and please let us know how you are doing.
2007-07-15 22:59:11 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible, but give yourself more than a week to adjust to the new situation. However, with time and perspective, you may find that as the hurt fades, so does your desire to stay friends with someone who showed so little respect for your feelings.
2007-07-15 22:40:16 · answer #3 · answered by MM 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No why would you want to be friends with someone who didn't know how to respect you as mate ,move on the only thing is that you will end up getting even more hurt.
2007-07-15 22:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Dodgerchik 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's possible that you two could be just friends-like you said he does sound like a good person, just not boyfriend material!
Good Luck
2007-07-15 22:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by ღ|l°Coltrane°l|ღ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if both parties are mature enough to handle it, yes. But WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH A JERK WHO CHEATED????????? Girl, how about being friends with yourself? Seriously. That's not healthy.
2007-07-15 22:33:59 · answer #6 · answered by Amy S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. It's obvious u have deep feelings for him. Best to stay away and have time 2 heel
2007-07-15 22:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by Buffet4life 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋