When should our love be sympathetic and when should it be tough?

Answer 1

It should be sympathetic except when it needs to be tough. In other words, love should be sympathetic unless sympathetic love will do more harm than good. In the case of an alcoholic or drug abuses for example, the last thing they need is an enabler. You cannot help them get drunk of high because you feel sorry for them. They need to get sober and face their own demons.

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Answer 2

I think sympathetic is the right answer if you are helping someone do something thay are not able to do for him/herself. If, on the other hand, your loved one could and should be doing for him/herself - but is choosing not to - then tough love is the more appropriate response.

My younger brother is a recovering alcoholic & learning to use tough love (i.e. stop rescuing him from his own mistakes) was one of the toughest things I've ever tried to do.

If you have a loved one with an addiction or "ism" like that - I strongly suggest a program like al-anon, nar-anon, or the like. It really helped me learn to deal with the confusion of loving someone and hating the person they'd become, at the same time.

Answer 3

Great question...

It depends on the circumstances...

For example if by loving somebody you pay for all their expenses so they can continue using drugs, being abusive, stealing to keep up the demand of supply, I think we need to be tough and say your making some really bad choices right now and I can't keep ensuring your needs are met, that is your job... and if necessary apply Grace...

Sympathetic, all the time... given the situations...

Answer 4

Sympathetic when needed, tough when needed. It depends on what the situation calls for.

Answer 5

Depends on the situation. It's okay to be sympathetic to a point, but there also comes a point where the other person needs to grow up and get over it. Too much love can make you an enabler (depending on the situation). It can make you an excuse for them to wallow in their self pity.

Answer 6

The shepard uses a rod and a staff. The rod directs the paths of his sheep so that they avoid trouble. He uses the staff to crack on them when the gentle correction of the rod won't keep them from trouble.

The shepard is out example in all. When sympathy and guidance will change the direction on their own, then use them for it is the most gentle teaching. When the sheep won't listen, then comes tough love.

Remember that the shepard will break the legs of the sheep that won't stay with him. Then carry them until they know how much he loves them and how dependent upon him they really are.

The same is true with tough love. When we have to do it, we must know that we will have to carry them to healing and a tanglble demonstration of love.

Answer 7

That phrase "tough love" always scares me a bit.
It kinda seems that some people use it to mean revenge or punishment, rather than the space necessary to allow a loved one to make the right (or wrong) decision for themselves.

Answer 8

It should be sympathetic to heal.
It should be tough when sympathy encourages
misbehavior and correction is required.

Answer 9

Isn't this a question that is really asking: Under which circumstances ought we apply the pressure of our influence upon another?

I can only suggest that pressure ought to be applied in situations where one is CERTAIN his guidance is necessary and correct.

For example: If you are a believer in the supernatural, I will apply a measure of "tough love" in your direction because I am certain that you are incorrect to believe as you do.

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Answer 10

It should never be tough, thats how the bully justifies his actions.