I have a boyfriend who wants to have an open relationship. The only problem is that he wants it one-sided ( his side). And I told him that I didn't want sloppy seconds and all he said was "he needed different" women to make him happy. What can I do? I love him with all my heart to leave. And even if I did leave him I have no where to go.
2007-07-15 15:10:29 · 22 answers · asked by Christine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you need to find another boyfriend.
He needs to find a woman who is comfortable with an open relationship, and you need to find a guy who is more into monogamy.
Whatever you do, don't think you are going to change your current boyfriend.
2007-07-15 15:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by Diminati 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pick yourself up off the floor and get some self respect. This guy wants your permission to cheat. If he really wanted an open relationship it would be completely open. That "need different" thing is bull. You may think you have no where to go, but anywhere is better than with that guy. There's a pretty good chance that he's already having an open relationship, but just wants you to give permission so he can quit sneaking around. He'd probably brag to his friends about how his girl lets him have other women. Next he's going to ask you to join him with another girl. How far are you willing to go for this guy? And I gotta wonder, the only problem you have is that it's supposed to be one sided? So you don't mind sleeping with other men? This relationship is over, has been for some time I'd guess. Move on before you lose all dignity.
2007-07-15 22:17:53 · answer #2 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well then plan on being sloppy seconds for quite a long time. It's up to you to walk away..put your foot down and demand what you will or will not take. If he doesn't find you enough then you will NEVER be enough. I am sorry that you feel that little about yourself that you'd accept his attitude.. and I am SURE that's why he feels that he can treat you that way. Picture in your head if you were a snotty, strong willed, "take no b.s." person... do you think he'd even attempt this with you? NO WAY.. Wake up and take charge! I mean it.. now!!!!!! Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is with you or not.. and there will be NOBODY ELSE... if not then leave. And don't give excuses. Everyone has a place to go rather than be abused. Your future place will be in the arms of someone who adores you.
What makes you think you deserve a person who wants someone else? You don't! WAKE UP! I mean it! WAKE UP!
2007-07-15 22:17:39 · answer #3 · answered by mosaic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not worth your time. You're also running a very high risk for STDs. No man "needs different women to make him happy," he's just looking for sex with as many women as possible. You are worth so much more than this! He is a user and a loser - I hate to say it since you still love him, but it's true. Move in with family or a friend, but get away from this guy right away. It's just a matter of time before he breaks your heart or gives you a nasty disease. There are lots of great guys out there, and one of them is meant for you. This guy is NOT the one meant for you! Think about why you love him - what does he do to earn your respect and love? Does he treat you like a princess? Does he respect and love you? I'd have to say no to all the above. I know it's hard to think logically about this kind of thing, but try. Please don't waste yourself on this guy.
2007-07-15 22:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by Ottergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going about this all the wrong way. What you need to do is tell him that you've thought about this and decided to be accepting of this. Wait a few days then tell him you set him up with one good looking hot blonde and she's waiting for him at a certain motel. When he gets there, let him find all his clothes in a cardboard box with a Barbie doll sitting on top. You don't have to go anywhere, you got him out.
2007-07-15 22:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What a dick. All I can say is that if he truly loved you, you would be all that he needs and more. You need to have a serious heart to heart with him and let him now that as much as you may love, you are not going to be used. You don't need to be with someone who isn't going to appreciate you. If he still doesn't want to change then it's time for you to find other living arrangements and move on.
2007-07-15 22:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It think that if he needs different women then he really don't love you enough to com it himself to just you and if you are not ok with it you should leave him and find someone that loves and respects you enough to be with only you.I know you will hurt because you love him but with time and your friends support you will be able to move on.Tell him that you need time to think about it in the mindtime find a place to stay and get some $ together so you can be ok on your own. Trust me you deserve alot better. good luck to you.
2007-07-15 22:27:36 · answer #7 · answered by beby 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
does this guy think he is the centre of the universe or just the next guest on the Jerry Springer show
If this guy gets his way:
A) he has no respect for you
B) he could bring you home some disease as one of the others answered and who wants that complication in life from someone else's "fun"
C) what about your happiness, doesn't that count to you !!
D) you deserve better!!
as for not having anywhere to go... what about friends, family or the local shelter... when it comes right down to it the only thing holding you back from a wonderful guy is you !
2007-07-15 22:24:48 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie p 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer to this. You don't need this guy, and if you have any respect for yourself, you will run away now. If he doesn't think you're good enough to have a monogamous committment with, then why would you even want to be with him? Love is supposed to lift you up, not tear you down, and he obviously wants you down. Leave now or regret it later.
2007-07-15 22:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by legi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dump him before he brings you diseases that a shot of bleach won't get rid of. Any guy who loves and respects you would not ask you something like that. You always have a place to go. Just go. He is possibly keeping you from meeting Mr. Right.
2007-07-15 22:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋