my friend and i casually call our 2 guys friends Joe and Peter if they want to go out somewhere. they keep saying "maybe, il call u later n let u know" or just "i dunno yet il call u" and they rarely do!! they invite us out rarely and reccently we turned them down (saving our pride). today i called Peter and asked if he wants to go to a bar.. he said "im busy now but we might, im not sure wat im doing after, il call u.. he still didnt call so my friend texted him later and asked wat he was doing, he said hes out with his friends!! so i wrote him a mean text msg saying "u didnt even call to say u werent cuming! u have great manners" he texted back saying "dont be mad, its my birthday already (2:00 am is literallly a new day and it is his bday) so i can do whatever I want".. i replied saying "i dont care whether its ur bday or ur grandmas bday, people shud have manner and u clearly dont!"
the reason we keep calling them is coz we need company and wanna hangout cus they r fun! help!
2007-07-15 14:55:26 · 29 answers · asked by babycake 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok... You're practically begging them to hang out with you. They obviously don't want to if they tell you they'll call and don't, on more than one ocassion. Then when they ditch you for some people they really do want to hang with, you call/text them all nasty. And you can't figure out why they don't want to hang with you or don't respect you?
You answered your own question.
2007-07-15 15:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you keep calling is cus you're deperate and you're telling them you don't have anyone else to hang out with. They clearly don't respect you and you keep going back for more. Back off a little. Stop calling them. Be busy when and if they call. Build a life for yourselves and have some fun on your own. If they want to spend time with you, set up some rules of communication. If you don't demand respect you won't get it. You take the lead and let them know what you will and will not accept. Clearly you're available whenever they do call or they wouldn't take you for granted the way they do. Stop being a doormat and they won't treat you that way.
2007-07-15 15:02:28 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a freind who does the same thing to me and I am 37.
I have figured out that I am never his first choice to do anything with. He will always wait on giving me an answer until there is no other possibility. He is a long time friend of mine, but its frustrating.
If you can live without them for a while...start blowing them off. They will either get the hint and reconcile or not. If not then they are not worth having as friends.
Good Luck,
2007-07-15 15:04:15 · answer #3 · answered by boscatman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like they are very fun to me. They are using you & the only way you can get them to respect you & your friend is to stick to your guns & cut all communication & ties to them. Every time you ask them to go out or agree to go somewhere with them, they think "Yeah, that's right. She may talk sh*t, but when it comes down to it she's just a doormat."
Don't you know what they're saying about you when you are not there? I've known guys like this & when they do talk about girls like you, they describe you in horrible terms. (They'll make fun of you, call you psycho, call you sluts they just screw in order to get their rocks off, basically they'll call you everything except their girlfriend.) You are just something they can come to in order to get their needs met. They don't care about you & trust me- they ARE sleeping with other women. If they really cared about you even in the slightest, they'd keep their dates with you--especially if it was on their b-day. If they were really into you they wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else.
Take the advice of all of us here & ditch these two guys. You could literally pick a bum up off the street & get better treatment than these two guys. If you decide to stay with them, it's your choice, but just remember that they will never respect you as long as you keep going out with them.
2007-07-15 15:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's hard to accept when people give us the cold shoulder. Actions speak much louder than words -- if those guys are not calling you back, it means they are not very interested in hanging out with you. I'm sorry to say. Guys will pursue you at all costs if they really want to spend time with you.
Don't worry - there are people out there that you'd have more fun with, because they like you for who you are and will pursue you, not the other way around. Don't waste your time with people who don't really care about you. You are precious to God and He has precious people for you in your life. Let go of those guys.
2007-07-15 14:59:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to be mean but obviously you and your friend are their "just in case girls". They dont want to hurt your feelings by just telling you no, so they tell you maybe later just in case they cann't find anything better to do. You should respect yourselves and stop letting people treat you like you have no brains. Go on with your lives and leave them alone. You'd be amazed how fast they start calling you with invitations. And if they don't, so what they are not worth your time. God Bless
2007-07-15 15:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by cris 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They won't respect you until you respect yourself. Stop calling them and hang out with your gf. Besides it looks too much like ya'll are out with them on dates and you can't find new friends (girls or guys). Your friend is your company. The guys aren't really fun, they are rude, immature, and disrespectful. You two can sign up for a class or event that sounds interesting. This will allow you to find new people to hang out with.
2007-07-15 15:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by Karen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These guys obviously don't really care, so why are you worried about it. If they say "i don't know, I'll call you later" just make other plans. Just live your life and enjoy the times you do hang out, but don't expect much from jerks like that.
2007-07-15 15:00:41 · answer #8 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they don't want to hang out with you there's not much you can do; chasing them down all the time is only going to make you look sad. It won't do much for your image. And if he was out with friends - aren't you his friend? Is he ashamed of you or something?
Seems to me they show you no respect. They don't return calls, they lie to you, they don't have the common decency to be honest.
Really, are they that much fun you want to sacrifice your pride to these people? Get some real friends, people who want to be your friend. Not these users.
2007-07-15 15:00:28 · answer #9 · answered by Wonderpants 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but it seems a tad bit needy to keep asking and they keep standing you up. B/F or just friend, guys just don't like to be chased down and pressured to hang out. You deserve better, find new guy friends ,don't be surprised when you do move on that the old friend will be the one hunting you down!:)
2007-07-15 15:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by Darcher 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋