I’ve been with my GF for 4 ½ years now. We’re pretty serious but, not talking marriage. She has ADHD and I have dealt w/ it since we started dating. Recently she has lost her self-esteem to the point if I bring up the family talk she crys. She is very comfortable around my family and they want to get to know her but, she’s scared of my mom’s opinions about stuff. So she won’t try to learn to get along w/ her. Everybody else she’s fine with. It took her over a year to visit w/ my family for an 8 hour visit to see them at a camp ground. I love her a lot but, either her ADHD is getting worse or she doesn’t want to learn to get along with them. I’m very close of letting her go….I’ve tried for this long to see if she would gain confidence to see them but nothing. Any opinions?
2007-07-15 14:34:58 · 4 answers · asked by detech69 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she has AD/HD I would recommend the book "Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life" by Sari Solden. She talks about how for women a lot of guilt and shame builds up over the years because of AD/HD especially around topics such as family and household etc. Fears of never being able to measure up. All that often comes together, fear, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, stressed out by things that are no big deal to others.
I would suggest you read the book or she does and see if the problems she is having are similar to the ones described in the book. You obviously care for her a lot and probably have put up with a lot because of the AD/HD (I know anybody around me puts up with a lot!). I hope the book can help.
2007-07-17 02:22:35 · answer #1 · answered by hsanderson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been with her for 4.5 years and are willing to let her go because she's uncomfortable with your mother?
Either there's more wrong here than you're saying, or you are a complete momma's boy and can't go on without her approval. What is it about your mom's opinions that bother your girlfriend so much? Is the problem really with your mother, but you're not willing to address that issue? Or maybe there's something between your mom and your girlfriend that you don't know about. Have they ever had a private conversation? Maybe your mom said something insensitive or demeaning and your girlfriend hasn't been able to get past it.
Either way, you have to get to the root of the problem and then decide. Don't just dump her because you don't want to deal with it. After 4 1/2 years you owe her better than that.
2007-07-15 14:54:39 · answer #2 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no opinions how about a diagnosis adhd does not cause aabove mentioned behaviours
2007-07-15 14:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone normal.
2007-07-15 14:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋