If someone told you they were being abused and told you to keep it a secret, what would you do?

Answer 1

Someone very recently HAS told me they are emotionally and physically abused by her step-dad and her mom knows about it but can't do anything about it because she relys on the step-dad for money and shelter but my friend told me not to worry about it and not to do anything so this is a good question, I'll check back to see if there are some good answers. I really want to help her but don't know if calling the cops for a little questioning would be too drastic or not. =/ tough situation

Answer 2

I guess it all depends. If its a child, I would definitely report it to the authorities, even if I had to do it anonymously. If it were an adult friend of mine, I guess I would respect their wish and not say anything. Adults can make their own decisions, and fend for themselves, where as a child can't . I would tell my friend I don't agree with keeping it a secret, that only benefits the abuser. I would also simply let my friend know that I'm here for support no matter what they decide to do or how to handle it. If the abuse was life threatening - all bets would be off and I would make sure some type of action was taken.

Answer 3

I'd rat them out faster than you could blink. Sometimes what is best for someone isn't what they want. People who are stuck in an abusive situation for long periods of time are often affected just as much mentally as physically and don't truly understand all the ramifications of each decision. Saying that sounds awfully arrogant and like you're making decisions for other people but standing by and letting people get hurt is just unacceptable. No one deserves that...and I'd rather lose a friendship and know the person was safe from harm than have them continue to suffer from the abuse.

Answer 4

Encourage them to tell someone in authority. They need to stop the cycle of abuse, this will only happen when the perpetrator is confronted and stopped by the police. Keeping the secret only allows the abuse to continue. Help them to address the fears the perp has obviously enforced to stop them from telling anyone. Ensure you guide them and not pressure them too hard or they may just stop speaking with you. Then you have the option to just tell anyway but unless you have their support, then they could just hide it. Unless of course it is a child by which you remove the child and take them promptly to the police with out batting an eyelid. No one deserves to be abused, help them to help themselves.

Answer 5

When I was the one being abused,
and I spoke of it to a close friend,
I am sooooo glad, she found help for me.
She spoke of my problems with a psychologist
who counseled at our church.

I nearly died at the hand of my abuser.

I was reluctant, and fearful, but did receive counseling
through the psychologist. He was able to break through
my fears of the abusers threats, and to help me to gain
my own voice, and to understand that if I stayed in that
abusive relationship, I would likely die.

And when I walked out of the hospital, alive from that last
attack, The psychologist counseled me again helping
me to believe I was a real person who deserved to live, and
to hold onto my children raising them in peace and love,
away from that violence.

I am so glad my dear friend shared my secret appropriately.

I can only hope that I would do the same when it's a matter
of life and death.

Answer 6

That would be a hard secret to keep. No one deserves to be abused...If the person is telling me that it is happening, they are telling me for a reason and it is probably not that they want it to continue. I would call the police in a NEw York minute.

Answer 7

this is a very difficult question and one i have to deal with often as i am a mandated reporter...i am honest with people and tell them (children) if they are being abused i will have to report it and will stand with them and be there through it all...but i cannot stand by and let a child be abused...usually in being honest with them and talking it through they understand somewhat and things eventually work out...with adults it is different...if they are suicidal or homicidal i tell them pretty much the same thing and sit with them...let them hear me make the call...and are a support...but i always report it...it just may take more time with someone who does not want it told but i don't leave...until it is reported

Answer 8

No, no joke NO. By all means help the person.
Maybe if you feel uncomfortable about being the one to "tell" get more info, get validation...be the one to "save" this person!! You have a chance to be a real life "hero" - take it!!!!! If you are not sure and don't want to take that chance pass this information on to someone you know will. You don't want a gossip chain just a means to the end. Whatever you do ....remember this person is reaching out to YOU!!!! and needs YOU!!!
They are not just socializing about their last weekend!!! Luck to you :)

Answer 9

If it was an adult (man or woman), I would give them the name and number of the nearest domestic violence shelter and suggest they call, if just for counseling, so they would be aware of what was available to them.

If a minor, I would personally call DCFS (IL Dept. of Children and Family Services).

Answer 10

I will not keep it a secret because that person like is at steak.