2007-07-15 09:01:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
My second wife was kidnapped out of my arms by a corrupt mental health agency on New Years Eve 2002. Happy New Year (NOT!). In the minds of many, that would be an unforgivable act. In my mind, I wanted revenge. I wanted them to pay with their lives. I was filled with directed and focused fury. I wanted to make it my life's mission to make them pay. The look in my eyes in my drivers license photo reminded me if the saying, "If looks could kill...," because that's exactly how I felt. You know where it got me? I destroyed each and every relationship I encountered and my weight dropped down to 115 pounds at 5'9" because I stopped eating and I stopped sleeping.
In time, I forgave the ones who kidnapped my wife. You want to know why? Because they got away legally with kidnapping her and the ones responsible moved on with their lives. Did I absolve them of the wrong they did? No, I didn't. They will one day pay for what they did and will be convicted by a jury of their peers. But by forgiving them, I got rid of the rage and the fury that was destroying no one but myself. Are you saying by forgiving an abuser that it doesn't matter if they hurt others? No. Not at all. But you might come to the same conclusion that I did that I'm not judge, jury, and executioner. That job belongs to another either human or divine. You are forgiving the one that wronged you to remove the rage that controls your life in the present. I hope this answer can help you to forgive the one(s) that hurt you and allow you to move on...
2007-07-15 09:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by Raptor 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No.
Forgiving the guilty abuser
does not mean that he is not guilty, and he is a sorry excuse of a person and A person who needs to be stopped.
Forgiveness is My letting go and not intensely wrapping my life around the abuser's sins. If I did that, he would have won.
Forgiving allows my heart and life to grow despite what was done to me. This sets my heart free. And it beats the trap he worked so hard to tear me down.
Dealing with my feelings, and learning to forgive has brought back my life that was stolen from me. It has returned joy to my life, and allowed me to love and be loved in relationships.
In my thoughts of the abuser, now, is a sad spot, but not an accusing spot.
2007-07-15 11:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Forgiving and condoning are two different things. Anger is part of the healing process. So is forgiveness. Anger and hate do nothing to the abuser. They will destroy the victim.
2007-07-15 09:08:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not saying that. In order to be forgiven you have to forgive. It may be hard at sometimes but the best thing to do. It will all work out for the best.
2007-07-15 09:09:19 · answer #4 · answered by Barb S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving and forgetting are TOTALLY DIFFERENT!
if you forgive the one person it means you have come to a realization that you are over that abuse.
but i believe its the opposite to give into the abuser and let others abuse you too.
i also think its opinion.
2007-07-17 04:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by .:.:.Mizz_undaStood.:.:. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have not forgiven because I don't believe it is a forgivable offense nor up to me to do the forgiving. That is up to his God.
However, I very seldom think about it, I do not obsess about it, and it does not run my life.
In AA, we learn that resentments are the main cause of relapse. We are told to let go. I have let go but I have not forgiven and I never will.
2007-07-15 16:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by Marcia K 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't forgive somone for abuse. Usually if someone is abusive they have some serious mental issues themselves. They don't think like we do and forgivness probably will make things more confusing.
2007-07-15 09:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by Carrots and bunnies 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I can not believe how many times you've asked the same freaking question!! Gee let it go already damn!!!!!!!
2007-07-15 09:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by K11 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋