More opinions needed please?

Question

I started watching this boy whos 3half. Hes gorgous little kid. Bright extremely funny always has a smile on his face.My daughter likes him i like him my husband likes him. His mother had lost custody of him because she sells crack. I think shes back into her old ways because she leaves him over night with me and doesnt call and check on him. He never wants to leave us. He always talks about his mommy going back to jail. When he comes over he just clings to me and its soo hard cause im already soo attached to him already. I want the best for him. I've bought some gifts and clothes for him. My husband however says im too attached and that he doesnt like how he openly talks about his mommy going to jail in front of our 4 half year old daughter. I cant help be attached to this little innocent boy. Thats why i dont say anything and keep him as much as possible. My husband says im waving what our daughter has and we have infront of his face and that he doesnt have that. Its very frusteratin

Even if i do keep on keeping him and watching him for her he's still going to go back to that old life and what good am i really doing for him? im too the point now that im thinking am i just fighting for lost causes...should i just let go and not watch him anymore because i really cant just watch him go down the drain. Im not talking about adopting him either since everyone kinda thought that in my last question its just hard cause when he comes over he's ate up with mosquito bites horribley i mean 20 on each leg his arms and body are just covered she dont check on him. Hes always dirty. I just feel like soo much is on my shoulders right now

Answer 1

You are a generous and giving soul. You are the most loving and stable thing that child has in his life right now. You are making a huge difference in his life. Even though his mother is taking advantage of you, if you tell her that you can't watch him anymore, who knows what will happen to him? Not that this is your problem, but who can turn their back on a child in need? You have already done the decent thing. As long as it isn't creating any hardship for you or your family having him there, you should do what feels right. However, know that it's temporary. At some point things are going to change. If his Mom has gone back to dealing or selling, then someone has to be notified, and since you are his daycare provider, I would call CPS with your concern. He needs to be taken out of that environment, and quickly, before something terrible happens. As for his taking about his Mommy going to jail, it's a good opportunity to talk to your child about how some people in this world just aren't as lucky as we are, and it's part of our job as human beings to help others when we can. Your daughter will learn by your example.

Answer 2

Yeah, she's definitely back to her old ways. Save the kid and contact child welfare. You've kind of become an enabler to her lifestyle by watching that kid. I know that's a pretty extreme comment, and i don't mean to offend you. I'm sure she'd probably just give him to someone else or do whatever it takes to continue her lifestyle, because it's evident what her priorities are. I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say. No matter what, the kid is not going to have 2.5 children/white picket fence kind of life. His mother has already ruined any of those chances. Do the right thing. Mommy isn't going to change, and if she does it is only going to happen after something major happens to make her hit rock bottom. Just be prepared to accept the consequences after this is set in motion. At least the boy might stand a chance, though.

Answer 3

That situation is really hard. It sounds as if you should get someone a little higher involved to see if something really is going on at his house. If you aren't thinking about adopting him, and are only watching him for certain periods, than someone needs to come in and save him full time. His mom obviously isn't fulfilling the needs of a mother and doesn't have his best wishes in mind, so you need to help him. Since she has already lost custody of him, maybe there is someone out there willing to take him full time or even adopt him.

Answer 4

It really is best for you to contact Children and Youth Services. They will be able to make the best decision for this little boy, if the mother is unfit. The mother may not be happy with this, but if you love this child, you are giving him the best chance for a happy future. Be careful with your gifts- as loving of a gesture as it is, I am a teacher in public schools, and several years ago there was a child that didn't have a winter coat, the school got one for him, the next day he came back without a coat, Mom had sold it for crack- they can put the drug in front of everything- tragic. Thoughts are with you.

Answer 5

First of all report what you have just posted here to your local Dept of Children and Family Services immiediately. Second, from the sounds of it you have been that childs only stability sad that it is that his own mother isn't providing him with that. Third, be honest with your daughter when she questions about the other child's mother going to jail tell her simply that when people do bad things they get into trouble and punished.

Again you really need to contact DCFS if you love that child at all. You can always petition to become a foster parent and take him in while his mother gets the help she needs too!

I'll be praying for you all!

Answer 6

Have you tried reporting her to DFCS or anything? If you think she's back to her old ways then someone should check up on her, for the safety/well-being of her son. I'm not sure what to say as for whether you should stop watching him or not, that's really only something you can decide but you should definitely report the mother.

Answer 7

Contact social services. CPS needs to know it he is in a dangerous place. You can fill out paperwork to foster parent him, if that is possible. Each state has different rules.

Sorry, in some ways the hubby is right.
Unless you want to take "legal" action to save the child, you must stand down.

Why? That mother is unstable, no matter how much you don't like it, that is HER child and it may endanger your family to "mess" with hers. A crack head is dangerous, to themselves and others.

Be a good parent to yours first.and get help for the child, through the proper channels.

Answer 8

how is your relationship with the mom? she needs to know to get her act together or something could happen like CPS hearing about it. especially since had lost custody of him before. your hubby doesnt want to see you being taken advantaged of. you could look at it 2 ways maybe seeing what you and your family have will want to make the little boy strive for that as they get older but yes something needs to be done and CPS should at least check into it

Answer 9

You should seriously report this to csb.Also I do not think you stopping watching him is the best idea if he is that attached to you that will just be another blow to him.