The Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy
READ SLOWLY
1. A day without sunshine is like..... night.
2. On the other hand,...... you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable,...... except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK,.............. so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your *** tomorrow.
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2007-07-15 07:50:43 · 8 answers · asked by kayboff 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hilarious. Here have a star from me. Thanks for keeping us entertained.
Cheers...
2007-07-15 10:51:56 · answer #1 · answered by ROSE 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hah,
you gotta <33 Larry the Cable Guy :o)
2007-07-15 07:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A great way to start a week. Thanks for the Monday laughs.
A star for you and I will read it again if the week starts getting to me.
2007-07-16 03:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was long but it was funny and i will give you a star
2007-07-16 02:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by ken s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA im one of the first to laugh......lols.....great things ...anyway have a great day!!!!!!
2007-07-15 07:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha-very funny
2007-07-15 08:39:01 · answer #6 · answered by 14bert14 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol! i'm gonna say that all the time now...
2007-07-15 08:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ pandaheart ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pretty funny and long ............. here have a star...
2007-07-15 08:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by GiveMeYourWings 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋