cos im **** scared....and i know my hubby to be for ages as mates and all of a sudden i know that whatever familiartiy and comfort i had with him as mates for years [8] will be gone on tnat night...[first time]
its an arranged marriage we both agree to it so its making me nervous as hell i dnt know what to do on the night how to behave even cos im already shitting it...
2007-07-15 06:57:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
if you love him, mother nature will take over, just do what you feel, dont try and plan as plans never work. you will be fine, just relax.
congratulations on your upcoming marriage
2007-07-15 07:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by looby 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You sound modern for an arranged marriage. Hopefully, you do fancy this person??? I would say don't drink too much but if allowed within your culture take a moderate amount. Drink can relax you but too much do the opposite. Also if you have known each other for 8 years surely you can discuss it with him, even if only touching on the subject. Don't be shy if you feel you want the 'gentle touch' let him know that you want to take it easy. If you really, really fancy him then just go with the flow. If the feelings are there you do not really need any guidelines, it will just happen. However, don't be preturbed if you do not get immediate pleasure, sex like some things have got to be worked at and everyone is different. Go at the pace both of you want. Your situation is unfamiliar to me and I certainly think a private discussion prior to your wedding night is required. It may be embarrassing starting of the conversation but it is something that must be brought up. Usually couples have taken sex for granted and I am not saying your culture is wrong, far from it but it is better brought out in to the open and one of you must do it. Wishing you all the very best.
2007-07-15 11:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't done anything with him before the night of your wedding, maybe you should decide together not to expect anything from the first night. If you haven't got massive expectations of what is going to happen, you are more likely to be relaxed, and then enjoy what does happen more. Then if you sleep together at least you're relaxed about it and it won't ruin your dignity by having an really embarrassing first night. From what you say, neither of you will want to ruin your friendship, so he's probably terrified too - so talk about it if you can and it will get both of you at ease.
2007-07-15 07:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by totally_idiotic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is rough. I would let him know that you are nervous and are worried about it. This will let him know to take things slow and easy.
The familiarity and comfort you had with him does not have to be gone. Just talk things out and, as you said, ease up.
Good luck to you.
2007-07-15 07:09:14 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen. You need to talk to you guy about expectaitions. It is a very intimate act to sleep together and make love, and even though you have known each other for years you need time to become that intimate. You don't become intimate just by getting married, it takes work. Tell him that you are nervous about the wedding night and talk about his and yours expectations. It is OK not to have sex on the wedding night.
2007-07-15 07:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are allowed to drink . . . I would have a drink, and let things develop naturally. Don't let others put expectations on you. You are still in control of your life and who you are and what you decide to do. Marriage does not change that.
2007-07-19 05:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by yyyyyy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should both agree to let things happen as they happen even if that means it just does not happen that night. If has respect for you then he will be willing. If you feel more comfortable with him that night then go for it.
2007-07-15 07:01:46 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm in exactly the same boat as you (except the arranged bit)...
But i figured i would just take things as they come and not stress about it....
2007-07-19 01:12:52 · answer #8 · answered by peekaboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
booze is the answer, my wife and I, were the last ones to leave the bar.we tried to get it on, but she had loads of things in her hair(and confetti up her nose), that after a while we lost interest.And her mum and dad were in the next room.
2007-07-15 11:18:40 · answer #9 · answered by Zoe S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you will be fine honey...just relax & take it slowly - its not really so bad the first time...and you will enjoy it more as you get used to eachothers bodies. i bet your man is feeling just as nervous you know!! good luck with the big day!
2007-07-15 07:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋