hello All.....I am 5 months pregnant and would like to know when my bf should tell his children that they are going to have another sibling. By the way, I know the children very well. They are 8 and 5. Should I be there when he tells them or is this just something he should do on his own?
2007-07-15 06:31:07 · 27 answers · asked by Andrea 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
well it sounds like youre gonna atleast be their stepmom so i think you should be there when he tells them.
2007-07-15 06:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by kevlar1 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
by all means at 8 and 5 they can understand the concept of a new baby coming. This is a happy time, tell them together and get them involved with the help in planning like buy an outfit together that they pick out... and 5 months along is a great time to tell them. When you aren't in the threat zone for problems and when you are beginning to show.
2007-07-15 13:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by Kishauna_P 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have your boyfriend marry you first, that way you can be an example, somewhat, as to why it's such a good idea to bring a baby into the world when it's parents are married. If he doesn't want to do that, he needs to tell the kids himself, because hopefully you'll have sense enough to dump him and learn from this. Otherwise, since you aren't their stepmom, it's not up to you to tell the kids.
Another issue your bf might have to deal with is helping his kids to understand why it is they can only see him part time, and he's a full time dad to the baby. The kids might feel less loved and prefer to stay with their mom. I understand stepkids often have problems when new babies are formed.
I'm also wondering why it is YOU are the one asking the question, and not HIM. They are HIS kids, and this should be HIS issue to deal with.
2007-07-15 13:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be there, they will be excited, be prepared to answer questions, if you have had an ultrasound that was able to determine the sex of the child tell them.
The only one who might be a tad resentful when the baby arrives is the 5 year old cause he won't be the youngest anymore. Make sure to include them when you can. Ask for help in handing you diapers or maybe holding the bottle for the baby.
2007-07-15 13:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Cin 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not a easy question to answer this.
I think the best thing would be for him to tell them alone first.
Then you both sit down together and answer any questions the kids may have.
i would tell them sooner then later or they may think why did you wait.
let them help with picking clothes and getting the new baby's things ready for when he/she is born so they feel apart of it and not shoved out.
will help them except the fact that they will be having a new brother or sister.
this is just my thoughts your , your own people and do what you think best.
good luck
regards x kitti x
2007-07-15 13:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by misskitti7® 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just sit them down and tell them in an up-beat manor. My older siblings were thrilled when they found out they were going to have a baby brother, and I'm sure I would've been thrilled if I found out I was going to have a baby sibling.
I'm sure they'll take it well as long as you show it to them in a positive light.
2007-07-15 15:47:00 · answer #6 · answered by Dan L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be there so the kids can see how happy you are about the baby. It is something that should bind you all together as a family. It would be better if the two of you got married. That way you can show the kids a good role model, you get married, and then you have kids.
Congratulations!
2007-07-15 13:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In the first place, you and your boyfriend are teaching them that it is OK to have children out of wedlock. People think that kids this young do not know what is going on, and that's not true. They are living it. But this is not any of my business. So, all I can tell you is he needs to be the one to tell them.
2007-07-15 14:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by ronkpaws 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If they are 8 and 5 and see you they will notice when you get larger. I wouldnt' bother to tell them about it unless they ask you about it. I mean its not like they are going to live with this sibling and babies are not that interesting to little kids. it cries too much, doesn't play and you are constantly being told to be quiet and let the baby sleep when you are there.
2007-07-15 13:34:51 · answer #9 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you know them well, you should be with him. Make sure you tell them in a way that makes them feel lucky and blessed, not burdened by the news. Tell them about this little one that will look up to them and idolize them. Don't mention babysitting and helping unless you think they will like it. My best friend was recently in a similar situation and her daughter FREAKED out. It was because she was saying "I'm going to need your help". That can come later, for now, focus on the blessing that this baby will be.
2007-07-15 13:36:19 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_trillian 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Since they are pretty young, I think that you should be there too. When I told my daughter I was pregnant, my fiance was there too and it worked out fine. You should be there (especially since you are close to them) to just nod your head and smile. You don't need to do the talking part. Afterwards, hug the kids and be very nice to them.
2007-07-15 14:24:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋