I read once (elsewhere on the 'net) a girl saying some things went wrong about her wedding, despite careful planning. Now she feels her whole marriage started out on the wrong foot, and can't be successful because the wedding wasn't right. She wants to throw out the picture albums and have another wedding from scratch.
Do you agree with this theory? Any personal experience or know of any? Or is it bee-ess?
2007-07-15 06:06:33 · 19 answers · asked by danashelchan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think that girl is flipping for no reason... If her wedding is starting off on the wrong foot, it's because she has convinced herself of that.
No wedding - regardless of how careful a person plans - will go completely flawless but, on the bright side, those little flaws can make a wedding memorable [which actually is a good thing].
Everybody wants a perfect wedding but, marriage isn't about that.. it's about two people committing their LIVES to each other. The wedding is nothing in comparison to that.
2007-07-15 06:17:39 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her marriage isn't successful b/c she's making that a self-fullfilling prophecy and sounds too immature to be married in the first place. She's hyper-focused on the past (her imperfect wedding) instead of her present and future.
Having another wedding from scratch is ridiculous: a bridezilla thing b/c she didn't get her perfect princess day. And sad she would throw out the photo albums and lose the memories of all who attended to wish her well. Bet she's not throwing out the gifts! ;-)
BTW, I had a nearly perfect wedding 20 years ago, but a bad marriage, b/c I picked the wrong groom. If I wasn't so focused on my wedding plans, I might have realized that sooner.
2007-07-15 06:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. The most important thing about marriage is the couple. They could get married in a swamp surrounded by killer bees and as long as they both survive, their marriage would be meaningful.
I think this stems from the fact that too many brides nowadays focus on the wedding and not the marriage. The bride you are speaking of is quite selfish and stupid. I don't think she is concerned about the state of the marriage, but I do think she is pouty because her day didn't go as perfectly as she had wanted. Get over it. Things happen. If the food is bad, the location is ugly, and the cake is stale...but you can still smile at your sweetie at the end of the day, that is what is important. You will look back and laugh at how petty those things are in the long run.
2007-07-15 06:19:20 · answer #3 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow -- She's a bit too superstitious. Sounds a little scary to me to think that if the wedding has issues your whole life will follow suit... however -- I went to a couple weddings this summer which I think indicated problems. See if you agree: 1) the groom was completely MIA (outside smoking) except when there was an event (cake cutting, first dance, etc.) The bride spent the entire night with her bridesmaids, who, incidentally, got in a fight with the security guards. (My husband couldn't stay away from me at our wedding). 2) The groom couldn't get through his vows -- laughed awkwardly and nervously, was shaking, and then told the preacher "I can't say it." The preacher slowed down and had to repeat a simple phrase (I thee wed) four times.
I think these qualify as signs that there may be rocky roads ahead.
On the other hand, a fire alarm was pulled by a little kid at my younger brother's wedding this summer -- a glitch for sure, but I don't think it is indicative of anything deeper.
2007-07-15 06:14:36 · answer #4 · answered by mj 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Something always goes wrong, it would not be a wedding if it did not. I agree with the theory that if a majority of the day is hellish then there might be a force of nature working against you there. But most of the time when that many things go wrong and it is that bad, it comes from bad planning, and lack of people wanting to be married. Everyone can make a bad day out of a good one if they want.
2007-07-15 08:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that anyone who puts that much emphasis on one occasion is really ready for marriage. So in her case it could be the thing that dooms her marriage. The rest of us normal people realize that this is just one day out of our lives and has nothing to do with the marriage.
Personally I think it is B.S. Though there is a little to it. If they are people who put that much stock in social occasions and are unable to handle anything that may go wrong (during one occasion) , then they will be the same in marriage. These type of people will have trouble dealing with the ins and outs of daily life.
As far as personal experience - sorry - the wedding was lousy and so was the marriage but I don't believe the lousy wedding had anything to do with the lousy marriage.
2007-07-15 07:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree that she should throw out her wedding album. I think that problems at the wedding are significant of the problems that you will face in the marriage. The only people that decide how a marriage will go is the couple that just got married, no superstitions about how bad the wedding went can change that. I am very unsuperstitious.
2007-07-15 06:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not all weddings go off with out a hitch! There will always be something that is not right on that special day. When my brother got married the cake was not Right and a piece was missing. One of the brides maids dresses broke and she had to change thank god it was after the ceremony part. Little things happen and they happen for a reason! I see them as a test on the new couple and to see how they handle it together. If their love is strong then the little problems that came up during the wedding day is not going to break that!
2007-07-15 06:15:21 · answer #8 · answered by kolowski4 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think any wedding is perfect. Here is my theory: If the bride or the groom or both are really bothered by a wedding that didn't go right, then they won't last in marriage. If the couple makes the best of it and has fun anyways, their marriage is more likely to work out.
2007-07-15 16:24:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is total BS...no wedding is ever going to go 100% perfect, no matter how wonderfully you plan.
Crappy wedding doesn't mean bad marriage. She is probably going to have a bad marriage but it will because of her immaturity, not because a few things when wrong on wedding day.
I have a feeling that she also thinks that if a couple ever has a fight they must not love each other anymore.
2007-07-15 08:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋