This taboo subject has never been mentioned?

Question

in Q&A husband beating could anyone tell me why.?Years ago through my work I went to visit an old ladyand she was having a wee cry. It seems that her daughter-in-law was always hitting her son, and he was forever turning up with black eyes.I was surprised when I discovered he was 5ft 10in and almost twelve and a half stone, and his wife was only 5ft nothing.Why do these men let their wifes do it to them, it cant be love because who would love a person who knock seven bells out of them. And it seems it goes on all over the world, some of these men are the boss, to lots of men under them
and can be a hard boss, yet when they go home they become a big softie to their wifes.
Does anyone know why men wont speak up for themselves, or have ther wifes charged with husband abuse.

I put this question under society and culture not my fault it landed in the wrong place, sorry if it upset anyone will e-mail yahoo about it.

Answer 1

because they were raised to always respect the personal dignity of others, but not their own personal dignity. It's all in the way we raise our kids.

Answer 2

I do not understand why you posted this question under the R&S section.

But the answer to your question is that Domestic Violence comes in all different forms. And if a man was taught to never raise a hand to a woman, but was also taught to be a "ManlyMan"..... The blow to his self-esteem would be so great and not to mention the shame one would feel inside because he " Got Beat Up By A Girl".....once the cycle starts, it is very hard to break. And with each incident, it usually involves alot of verbal abuse as well, making the victim feel like they "deserve" that type of treatment, or that they are worthless and nobody else wants them....

People are just now starting to report domestic violence, spousal abuse, perpetrated by the wife. Perhaps the trend will continue until most cases can be addressed and the shame taken out of the incident itself.

Just my thoughts
Blessings
)o(
Trinity

Answer 3

I think this is in the wrong category.
I was brought up to consider it very wrong to hit a woman under any circumstances. I think this man would rather put up with it than complain because in these circumstances the humiliation is so great. We talk about the humiliation of a woman in these circumstances but when she complains to the police or social services she gets a back up system. A man has nothing even his friends will jeer at him behind his back if not to his face. I should imagine the "jokes" would be too hard to bare. The woman knows this and is in fact a coward. It will get worse I would suggest he uses his own courage and gets out.i know it is hard but that is what he must do, Make notes and keep than safe

Answer 4

Because men grow up learning Chivalry, but women grow up learning Feminism, which is not about Chivalry but about squeezing both the legal system and social system for more perqs. It is now considered GOOD any act or legislation that maximizes female rights and minimizes female responsibilities. It is considered GOOD any act or legislation that minimizes male rights (like the right to see their own children after a break-up) and maximizes their responsibility. And males pay the lion's share of taxes for female-dominated institutions that work against their own best interests. Also, insane women are less likely to get treatment because there is a measure of acceptance of erratic behaviour in females that is not afforded a man.

But men's groups exist to discuss things, to realize what is going on. There is equal amounts of abuse flying between the sexes, but the harpy-like mental cruelty of females isn't usually counted. All those COSMOPOLITAN articles which essentially boil down to "Manipulate Your Man To Do This Or That". Men imagine they will be laughed at if they mention or complain about it, considered "sissies", and that's how we are entrapped. And REAL abuse against men exists also, but after a hard day of battering their men, the women only have to punch a wall and claim he broke her fingernail and the "sensitivity trained" cops will drag the man away. Deception and lack of responsibility is allowable in female society. Even if the woman wants to take back her false claim, the arch-feminist social workers and "family court" judges won't let her, imagining she's merely showing Stockholm Syndrome to her man.

The Canadian men's association reorganized and is now called GRIP: Gender Relations in Progress. I've found a few more sources for you too.

I personally caution a new attitude towards women, new safety measures which the men's sites suggest. Men should always carry a cell-phone when with women. Should they be hit on the street by their girlfriend in an argument, LIE DOWN ON THE PAVEMENT IMMEDIATELY AND CALL 9/11. Say that an act of assault has just been made against you. Even the feminized-sensitivity-training police force will not buy any claim of agression of the female if you're flat on the pavement. Your arms don't reach that far to punch her in the eye. Describe your location to 9/11. If the woman gets angry and kicks you and urges you to get up again, that's even better, especially in front of witnesses. A little trip to jail on HER part will clarify your relationship with her and she will either stop or you should leave her. Also, after any date, get a woman's signature on a standard legal form prepared for that purpose, that no assault or rape occurred, and you parted in a public place. There is no greater weapon to use against women and drag women into the world of Adult Responsibility than her own signature...

Answer 5

First it is because men do not share their feelings. Second because they feel they would be made fun of (rightly so).

Most men that fall victim to this kind of abuse were raised passive by women. Men no longer act like "real men" and it has been going on for some time now and I would wager it is on the rise.

My wife has only tried to strike me a few times in our marriage. First time I struck her back and was surprised that I hit her harder than I intended. My mother was abused so I do my best not to raise a hand. The other few times I just blocked the blow and she hurt herself on my arm. Mercifully those days are behind us and we are one.

Answer 6

I don't personally know any guys who have been the victims of abuse by their wives, but here's my opinion, anyway:

Men might feel ashamed for people to know they are being abused by a woman. It's sort of like when kids make fun of a little boy who "got beat up by a girl." They shouldn't feel that way, of course. When anyone is being abused or hurt, especially children, the abuser needs counseling and/or jail time.

Answer 7

It is clearly a cultural problem. In the US the man will likely leave a marriage without his children unless he can prove that his wife has beaten him. Getting beaten up by your wife, while research shows it is as common as getting beaten by your husband, is a disgrace to a man.

So, why is it like this?
Legal issues
Social issues

Some men do report being beaten. They should get more support.

As for never being mentioned, I have mentioned it several times.

Answer 8

Though I do agree with Patricia S, this is not R&S material, I will still try to help.

He may be fearful of her reaction if he was to act. He may also be fearful of ridicule from whoever he may seek help from.
He need not fear. He has honoured himself by not allowing himself to hit back, to retaliate solves nothing.

In order to help himself, he needs to get out of that relationship, but to prevent any further harm, that is not the best way forward.

What I would suggest is anger management for the daughter-in-law. This should not be left in his sole charge, as it may result in further injury. Somebody who is able to keep her under control should lead her to help, and therefore make both their lives better.

Remember: Domestic violence is not gender-specific, but it is unacceptable

Answer 9

Is it something to do with the immense prejudice of the police who can only think that domestic violence is committed by a man agaist a poor defenceless woman?

Maybe, although there must be a whole host of other factors.

Still who wants to go to the authorities to have them disbelieve you and mess you up even more?

Answer 10

The same reason why women stay in abusive relationships. They are afraid to leave, don't think they can survive on their own, oh and , she didn't mean to do it, she said she won't ever do it again. How sad. And yes, they do love their spouse. Sick as it sounds they do love them. Think they can and will change. So, they put up with it out of fear and shame. Nobody wants to admit to a defeated relationship.

Answer 11

As someone who once had a girlfriend who smacked him around (for several months), I think it's for two reasons:

1.) You don't want to tell people that your girlfriend smacks you around. It's emasculating to admit to people that your girlfriend/wife/whatever feels okay with hitting you.

2.) We're raised to believe that it's not okay to hit a girl.

I got over that one and proceeded to beat the everliving hell out of my girlfriend. Of course, I ended the relationship then and there. Reality sometimes comes into view all at once.

All the best,

Lazarus