My son is five and still poops in his underwear.?

Question

my son learnhow to use potty for peeing at age 4 and a half but he still poops in his underwear what can i do.

he has a twin brother who had no problems but his 3 year old brother has the same problem

its even hard sence he hardly talks and has very delayed speach problem

Answer 1

Dear friend,

I feel compelled to answer this -- I just happened across it.

I am a 43-year-old man, and I was afflicted with this issue as a child. Though it causes you embarrassment, I can attest to the fact that this can become much more painful for your child than you realize. This problem lasted until age 12 for me. My mother took me to doctors - including a proctologist - and basically did her best. Nothing worked. No one knew how to fix this - least of all me. Or, at least, I THOUGHT I didn't know what to do. I will tell you that the years of being an embarrassment, being ashamed, and being teased did a number on my self-esteem.

This problem, it turned out, came from a very deep-seated fear that I finally came to terms with at age 12 on my own. It was the fear of defication. I had a bout with constipation as a toddler, and bowel movements became very painful. (I still remember them. Ouch!) In response, I worked my dead-level best to postpone the inevitable. The result was - you guessed it - continued constipation! It's amazing how long you can hold it if you're a really well-practiced, pain-motivated child. The constipation began the problem, and my psychological response to the pain involved just continued the condition.

When I was twelve, the light just "came on" in my head one day when I got the urge, and I thought, "this isn't working." I went straight to the restroom and did my thing immediately. I had NEVER done that before. It didn't feel natural to me, because I couldn't remember ever having a natural BM. I continued to go to the restroom right away when I got the urge, and found that it was NOT painful anymore, and that my accidents had stopped.

I'm telling you all this because something as silly as a bout of constipation, back even before your child can remember it, can really mess with his mind.

Please do what you can to work with your child - mostly instilling trust. I PROMISE you that he hates this worse than you do. He doesn't know the answer either. If he did -- if he could only understand this body function - things would be normal for him. I was in absolute confusion about how my lower tract was supposed to feel and work when I was his age, and I suspect that he is too.

Answer 2

Boys are three and a half (average age)before being ready for toilet training,girls,two and a half.My granddaughter had difficulty in her training,she also didn't talk well before age four.I knew that understanding language was required so I didn't push her.My daughter was getting impatient and had an idea.Since the little one loved to play with change,she offered to pay her and it worked.She understood she would get some change and started going on her own,asking for her coins before she even got off the toilet.We let her decide,because I refused to punish her over it knowing her language skills weren't good at the time.I thought when she's ready she'll go,and with a bribe of a favorite treat,she did.

Answer 3

My boy had a similar issue as he was a little worried about poos on the toilet. I found a solution by telling him if he would go on the toilet I would buy him a ninja turtle toy he wanted.

Then each time he would go in his pants I would say something like "that's a shame, if you went on the toilet you would have got that new ninja turtle". This went on for about a week and then one day he came running for the toilet, went on the toilet and got the toy.

I then told him if he did three more on the toilet he would get a little Lego set. It took about a week to get the three but he got the toy and now (two months later) he always goes on the toilet and I didn't give him any more toys other than the first two.

It was like once he had the motivation he realised he didn't need to be worried about it and is now fine.

Some people don't like giving rewards but it worked for us and it was worth the two toys.

Good luck

Answer 4

You need to have the boys tested for learning problems, speech problems, IQ, the whole 9 yards and see if a group of testing drs can explain these symptoms. We don't want to punish the children for being messy & lazy if it's actually a physical or mental disorder.

My son had some problems and we took him to Children's Medical Center in Dallas, TX. Perhaps there's such a hospital in your neck of the woods?

Debbie
TX mom

Answer 5

Wow thats really late. I learned how to both at age 2 and a half.

What my mom did with my brother was when he pooped in his diaper she would take him to the toilet and put the poop in there and have him flush it, than tell him that when he feels like he has to do poop to go in the toilet.

Or, after every meal, put him on the toilet like 10 minutes later until he poops, my mom used to bring in one of those little kid toilets and i would sit on it why i watched barny.

Answer 6

He may not realize that it is coming or may be too involved in what he is doing to deal with it. He will get over it, especially as other children will not be shy in telling him that he smells. Check that it is not a medical problem first. Even having the doctor see him may tell him that it is more serious than he thinks.

Answer 7

There are many different strategies and approaches to toilet training. The most successful methods use positive reinforcement and begin intensive training only when a child is physically and emotionally ready. Introduce the basic concepts of toilet use gradually and repetitively to your child. As your child gains the necessary skills, he or she will show a sincere interest in using the toilet.

Get ready
Before you decide to start toilet training, make sure the household environment is stable and that all family members are prepared to help in the process. Trying to start potty training soon after having another child, while remodeling your home, while having a succession of household guests, right before going on vacation, or during a time of marital problems will likely not be as successful as during a calm period when the family can focus on helping your young child reach this significant developmental milestone.

Talk with your child about having a bowel movement and about urinating. Your child may be more comfortable saying "poop" and "pee." It is fine to use these words, but use the proper terms as well so the child learns what they mean.

Start to talk with your child about how to use the toilet. Explain how the toilet works and how your child will be able to use it when he or she is ready. Be enthusiastic and always speak positively about your child's using the potty. Talk about how he or she will no longer need to wear diapers, will get to wear underpants that are more comfortable, and can go just like a big boy or girl.

Get set
Take your child with you to select a potty that is sturdy and comfortable. Be patient and give your child time to get used to and comfortable with it. Some ways to do this are by:

Allowing your child to move a portable potty into his or her room or other play area to get used to having it around.
Helping make the potty special by personalizing it, such as painting it or writing your child's name on it.
Allowing your child to sit on it and read a book or sit on it with his or her diaper on while having a stool or urinating. You can say, "This is your special chair for you to go pee-pee and poop in. Soon you will use it just like grownups use the toilet."
Your child may want to join you when you use the toilet. If you feel comfortable with an audience, allow him or her to join you. Talk with your child about what you are doing.

Toilet training is usually more successful if you are relaxed and patient with your child.

Do not attempt to begin toilet training before your child is physically and emotionally ready. Trying to toilet train your child before this time creates frustration for both of you.
Avoid power struggles, which will only make toilet training more stressful and last longer. All experiences and associations with toilet training should be positive. Do not scold, punish, or embarrass your child for failing to use the toilet.
Do not verbally or physically force your child to sit on a potty. Allow your child to sit on the potty only for 5 minutes at a time unless he or she is beginning to pass stool or urine.
Tell your child that it is up to him or her to decide when to use the toilet.

Answer 8

ask him why. my brother wouldn't poop on the potty till he was 5, when we finally asked him why he said some other kid told him if he sat on a potty a squril would come out of it and take his "nuts"
when he was assured this wouldn't happen he started going. maybe your son is afraid of something. good luck

Answer 9

maybe he needs assurance. tell him that everything will be ok if he sits on his big boy potty & goes. i guarantee it if you give him a reward for every time he goes, he'll know he's doing a good thing & get into the habit of going potty. sometimes stickers or even little candy is good for rewards. good luck. =]

Answer 10

Yeah, it somewhat is suited, save spanking him, and grounding him, then he will on no account study to poop in the potty... clarify to him that he has to pass in the potty, and then reward him evrytime he is going, rather of grounding and spanking him...Sheesh!!