Parent advice please!!!!!!!?

Question

I have a two year old son and when he does not get what he wants he throws things ( shoes drinks toys) anything he can get his hands on, anyone got any ideas what to do when he does this ( he does not understand time out ) and it seems to be worse when we are out . Thanks for all ideas

thank you everyone, i feel better knowing its not just my child. It would be a lot better if those stuck up people didnt look at you when you are out like no other child behaves like this

Answer 1

That is really difficult. Especially when you're out in public. When my son started doing that I would leave where we were whenever it was possible (obviously not feasible when you have a cart full of groceries). And time outs worked well for us. We put him in a corner facing the wall and he had to stand there not throwing a fit for a minute. It's hard as a parent to enforce because it makes YOU want to throw things, but it does eventually click.

Also, he is looking for a reaction. If you very calmly recover what he threw and put it in your purse (diaper bag, whatever) and don't give it back to him or give him a big reaction, just a quiet, calm "We don't throw things", he will eventally stop.

The less you react to tantrums - meaning don't show your frustration, not don't deal with them - the more he will realize that isn't going to work to get his way and he will move on to more sophisticated ways of trying to get his own way (let's face it, trying to get your own way never really ends LoL).

Answer 2

My son was (sometimes still is) the worst at tantrums, he was always unbelievable. First i want to say it does get better, the thing i found helped the most was ignoring him when he does it, or distracting them when out, always have a new toy/book when shopping. I think if you try to ignore the behaviour they soon learn they are not getting the attention they are after and therefore after a while stop. Also, i wished i had put my son into preschool earlier as they are lots of help and they learn from the other children. The most important thing with any child is love and not letting your anger get the better of you, keep calm and remember it is only for a very short time in his life. Good luck xx

Answer 3

I also have a 2 year old son who does exactly the same. If we give him his dinner, which he does not want, he picks up the plate and throws it on the floor. I take it away, and remove him from the table. The best thing is to try and ignore the behaviour as he is probably doing this to get your attention.. He knows if he does something wrong, and throws something, it gets your attention. My son throws toys, his juice cup, couch cushions if he does not get what he wants. After he has been ignored, and he calms down, I ask him to pick up what he has thrown, and put it back. He does this most of the time. And seems to work.

Answer 4

i have a 2 year old daughter and she can pretty much be the same as your son in fact worse. shes a total nightmare and i'd be the first to admit it. Its hard to imagine that it is their age, but unfortunately it is.When she starts in public like she did again yesterday out shopping, all i say to them 'stuck up people' is Haven't they heard a child cry/scream before?
i dont say it directly to them just whoever im out with eg sis,mum, just loud enough for the stuck up people to hear
you should see the look on some of their faces!! LOL
I would just ignore him when he starts and when at home you've got to put into practice the 'naughty step' or 'time out' as you dont need him to rule the roost. As you certainly won't be teaching him anything other than getting his own way, think about what would happen to him in the future, a spoiled brat. And i no as im a mum to 3 myself i wouldn't want to think that about any 1 of mine and it gives me the motivation to put and keep these actions in practice
and it gives them a sence also whos boss!!
good luck

Answer 5

Tell him to come back and speak to you when he is ready to make btter choices. Then ignore him until he is calmer. Whatever you do, don't look at him or speak to him until he comes to you calmly (it will only make the next fit worse). If he throws things wait until he has calmed down and then have him pick them up, If you have to pick them up put them into the trash. You can even offer to help but don't do it o rhim. Help by holding the basket while he put thing in. I do all of these things with my children. It works. You will only have to throw way a few toys before he realizes it is a better idea not to throw things.

Answer 6

First you tell him no firmly, like everyone else says. If he's still acting up, give him a whap on his bum with your hand. Don't slap his hand, that's mean and not as effective as a whap or two on his behind. AFTER a whap on him behind, put him in time out. He will soon understand that he's breaking a boundary and that he is not allowed to do that.

Once he's out of time out, lots of hugs and kisses so he knows you're not mad, not angry, but you will NOT tolerate this naughtiness.

I agree with dude, spanks are for correction and your son will soon learn that if he doesn't want the spank, he doesn't throw.

Answer 7

I have a 2 year old daughter who throws things in a tantrum because its her way of telling me shes cross seeing has she isn't old enough to tell me exactly how she is feeling. I deal with this by telling her that it is naughty, then if she does it again I tell her its naughty and put the item on a shelf so she cant have it for a little while. I don't make a big fuss out of it and she is doing it less now.
If it happens when I'm out I just tell her its naughty and don't let it get to me the worst thing to do is to give in or they will do it more.
i hope this helps.

Answer 8

my daughter who is three had tantrums so i ignored her ,now when she starts i just walk away and she quickly stops crying and gives my a kiss and a hug ....don't worry about people staring when you are out my 8year old son decided to throw a "wobbly" in tescos my husband decided to take him out of the shop while my son was screaming "help me, he is not my dad"
you can imagine how many stares we got then !.........well we can laugh about it now..just! isn't being a mother good fun! all the best muminamillion
p.s it was the first and last time my son has ever done anything like that ....l.o.l

Answer 9

I have a 21 month old who does exactly the same thing, I warn him first by saying 'no that's naughty, if you do it again you'll go in your pushchair', then if he does it again i fasten him in his pushchair in the passage for 10 mins or so, this works for me as it calms him down, and when i come to let him out he's all nice again! If i'm upstairs, i'll put him in his cot instead of the pushchair, as he hasn't learned how to climb out yet! Anyway good luck, i'm glad i'm not the only one in this situation!

Answer 10

like the others said, be firm and consistent. pick where your line of behaviour is and stick to it at all times. it will be hard to start with but he will learn eventually. he doesnt need to understand time out to start with, you do.if you are at home, put him somewhere eg his room and no matter how hard he screams, leave him there til calm. stay calm yourself, just be firm and focused. also make sure you give him attention when he plays good. make him learn that tantrums mean he will be ignored, good behaviour gets him attention and cuddles.you will have a tough couple of weeks but it will be better for everybody. make sure all his carers follow your plan. good luck