How do I stop the "insanity" in my life?

Question

I feel like I'm running in circles and I can't catch my breath.
I'm 40 y/o,mother of 2 girls(6&2) work 2-3 nights at work 12 hour shifts. My husband (a very good man) works 6 nights a week and church on Sun.mornings as a muscian/singer. I am overwhelmed with trying to keep up with all my responsibilites, and my work is extremely demmanding I'm on my feet all night. I am plannining our vaction, which will me fun for them and work for me. My MD put me on an anti-depressant a year ago which has taken the edge off, but I still feel like I'm heading for the "nut" house.
Is there any other moms that feel this way?

Answer 1

Stop being the victim in your life. You may not be able to do anything about your work schedule or your responsibilities as an employee and a mother, but you sure could do something about that vacation.

The resentment just oozes out of your words, and eventually that will come right back to slap your children and your husband in the face. I know, I've been there.

Change your plans for vacation. Do something you want to do, even if its laying on a beach. Your kids will enjoy anything, your husband will thank you for being more relaxed. You can take cruises for families, there are all inclusive resorts for families, or if you are more like my family and those aren't things you can afford, then take a shorter trip somewhere close by and spend your money on restaurants and a nice hotel room with a pool.

You are an older mother (I am too), you need to recognize that you do not have the stamina and resistance to change that a mother in her 20's have. You need to take care of yourself (and not expect anyone else to), and you need to learn how to pamper yourself even in very small ways.

Your kids would rather have less in their life and a mother who is not sad, depressed or a crab *ss all the time. You will be around my age when your oldest will be learning to drive and you will be closer to 60 than you want to be when she graduates from college. You need to plan now for the natural changes you will have because they will effect you in ways you can't imagine.

Oh and btw, have your gyn check you out for early menopause, it starts early in some women and that lessing of estrogen could explain alot.

Good luck, and if you pay no attention to anything I say, do at least take a vacation that is a vacation for you. Its not selfish to want to be relaxed enough to be a good partner and a good mom.

Answer 2

Certainly!!! Remember my mom being the same way. You really need to learn to take care of yourself too. Sounds like your running yourself into the ground which is not going to help anyone, your family included. I know it's already hard to find time but you really have to find an hour or two to relax. Get up earlier or stay up later and read, walk, bike. Something to relax, I highly recommend the outdoor stuff because it not only relaxes your mind but also your body and at same time increases your energy. Look for moments with your hubby too, vitally important to stay in touch with each other as a couple not in relation to your children. Maybe next year plan the trip so the kids can stay with grandma/grandpa aunt/uncle whoever, and you and your husband get away for a little while. Get the much needed vacation you need (sleep in, go out, etc). Do it every other or third year, kids get away (extended time w/ family) and you do too (extended time alone).

Answer 3

I agree with Nicky's post...you've got to find mommy time. I was the same way when my kids were small. I worked to hard....too many hours.....no time for me.....didn't ask for help and just assumed that my family should know that I needed help.

I woke up and smelled the coffee when my husband almost died in a car accident. During 4 months in intensive care and 6 months of rehab I really had to dig deep to maintain. It taught me that life is so precious and our world can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

After my husband mended we had a heart to heart. I found out that the job I thought was so important and financially rewarding for my family wasn't what he wanted. My kids also let me know that they needed me around more both mentally and physically.

I quit the high stress job and got another less demanding job with normal hours. Yeah the money wasn't as good but it has paid huge dividends on the home front. I was also on medication when I worked the long hours and found that I didn't need it when I changed jobs.

We only get one chance to raise our kids. It's not to late for you to make some positive changes for you and your family.

Answer 4

I feel this way most of the time, but you have to stop before it gets to the point you are at. I would go back to your doc. Your med probably need to be adjusted. Learn to say NO. I know it is hard, but you can do it. Prioritize your responsibilities and consider cutting some of them. Try to teach the kids to pick up and do small chores on their own. They are both old enough to have age-specific duties.
When it comes to vacation, use paper plates and take out. Think about getting your husband to organize one day each where the other person doesn't have to do a thing.

Answer 5

Yes, I do sometimes also... I'm going thru divorce, me and my 3 kids are living with my mother and she doesn't want us to move out yet, working, paying bills, taking care of them, her, helping her clean her house (she has cancer), and I just feel like I can't keep up with all of it sometimes. And I just posted a question on here and got kicked down for not answering my 2 yr old when he called for me a few times, while I was trying to get my other two kids to stop fighting... now on top of everything that I do and help my mother with, I'm a bad mom.

Taking a deep breath as we speak...

Answer 6

all of jesus teaching were under the old law (ten commandments) no one will be declared rightiousness by observing the old law,the law was given to show us our unrightiousness and to lead us to christ,jesus ushered in a new covenant at his death, a will, a covenant, a testament these are all the same thing,we live in the new testament today if you are in christ, if you are not you need to come to jesus by faith in his finished work at the cross, where he died to take away the sins of the whole world, and jesus wil raises you to spiritual life, this is what salvation is all about, receiving the offer of life 1john 5:11,13 and the new covenant is hebrews 10:16,18 and this is the gospel that saves 1corinthians 15:3,4 it is all of jesus and none of us. if we had anything to do with our salvation we would scew it up. belive by faith in the death, burial, and the resurection of jesus christ and jesus will raises you to spiritual life.