I feel really bad. I'm 27 and there is a 16 year old teen who has a crush on me. He asks me out and tells me he is in love with me and how he thinks I'm sexy. He also tries to give me gifts which I tell him I can't accept. My best friend is also friends with the 16 yr old, and will invite him out when we eat lunch, the 16yr old will always try to buy lunch for me. He also tells me that he wants to lose his virginity to me, and about how he is lonely....
I DO NOT want to hurt his feelings because I know how it felt to be a lonely teen, I'm trying to find the best way to explain that he is just way too young, how can I do this nicely? what would be the nicest yet Firmest way to tell him he is making me uncomfortable and he is too young?
2007-07-15 01:43:09 · 27 answers · asked by Didi M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes I Have told him it's against the law...but he persists, I really don't want to hurt his feelings
2007-07-15 01:50:57 · update #1
btw: "Winston Smith" Go back to sucking ***** cuz I don't need any answers from you, punk *****
2007-07-15 16:49:36 · update #2
Remind him that ALL adults (male and female) can be jailed if they have sex with people under 18, so you don't want to be doing anything to encourage that, because residing in the graybar hotel isn't a good career move.
Say something like,
"So let's just keep everything neutral, and then we'll see if you still feel the same way about me when you're 18. If so, and if I'm still unattached, THEN we can have a discussion about where we stand."
You see, if you don't outright reject him, you won't hurt his feelings. And age differences are NO big deal, among legal adults. Who knows... once 18, he MIGHT actually become your dream mate. People can fall in REAL love well before 16, so this might be the case with him, and it may very well last, unabated, into legal adulthood.
2007-07-15 01:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why are you having lunch with the 16 year old in the first place? If your best friend is inviting him to have lunch and you know about it, you must decline the invitation.
You also need to "keep away" from this child because you are only looking for trouble. I am not saying you would cross the line BUT he, as an obsessed young man with a huge crush, just may end up making up stories about YOU and YOU are going to have a VERY difficult time proving him wrong.
The laws of the land will say YOU are the adult here ... so be smart and stop being in his life before you end up paying huge attorney fees to prove your innocence.
2007-07-15 08:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Patty G 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The simplest thing, that is impersonal and doesn't make him feel inadequate physically or emotionally, is to tell him you prefer men YOUR OWN AGE OR OLDER. Tell him you think a mid to late30something man is where your mind is right now. Tell him that by then men are mature and are settling down and that that is what interests you. What can he possibly say?
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And as others here say, a 16 yr old male cannot seduce you or make you do anything. You're the adult in control of this situation. Don't let him pester you all the time!
2007-07-15 09:58:36 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Tyree Love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it cannot work because of the age differential. Tell him you cannot condone or participate in such a relationship because it's wrong in your beliefs. Tell him it's illegal. (But realize that telling him it's illegal is your weakest argument, because he'll respond "In two years, it won't be illegal, if that's all that is stopping you." Then what will you say?) The age difference is your best best. That gap of 11 years will always be there. he can't argue with that.
But are you sure he isn't just being a friend, or trying to be? I know I have bought lunch for and given gifts to people I may have had a mild crush on, but with whom I was not involved and realized I never would be.
2007-07-15 08:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Vincent Van Jessup 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Winston Smith above is a ****** loser a-$$ ***** jockey!
don't listen to him, this isn't your fault, your actually a nice sensitive girl who doesn't want to hurt a young person because you actually have feelings and don't want to dole out pain!
The only ho here is this Winston Smith except what he's gettin is in the a-$$ by some guy!
2007-07-15 23:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by wwe fan raw and smackdown 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just come out and tell him that you're not interested, yes it would be heart breating for the guy, but in the end, both of you will be better off. also you need to let your other friend know that you're not comfortable having this yougner man around. i understand the feeling, whwn i was 16 i wanted a 28 y/o woman so badly, it hurt
2007-07-15 11:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling him that you just don't find younger men attractive, and that you like mature men of your own age or older because you can relate to them better. Tell him you are very flattered by his attentions but that you cannot reciprocate because you don't feel anything other than friendship for him. Tell him it's not personal, you feel the same about all men who are so much younger than you, and you can't help the fact that you don't find them attractive. If he keeps persisting tell him that one of the reasons you don't find young men attractive is that they don't understand how to respect a womans opinions and choices. If he can't respect the fact that you are entitled to your own preference then he is completely self centred. Sometimes you have to be a little bit cruel to be kind.
2007-07-15 09:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
solution: You are an adult and understand. Have little or no contract, do not look into his eyes even if he asks you to do this. The fact is tell him it would be statutory rape on YOUR part getting involved with him. Also explain simply that you know he will find someone his own age who is more appropriate fro him. espite what he will say, tell him you are going to keep it this way, and are staring to see someone else now.
There is no easy way, but this is easy. You are not interested in him, and tell him that.
End of discussion.
2007-07-15 08:49:56 · answer #8 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would suggest that you explain to him that what he is asking of you is illegal for starters. Let him know there are plenty of teenage women out there and that he should truly seek counseling or see a therapyst if possible.
This is not healthy, not so much that it is not common but also that most boys will not go beyond the fantasy part. Perhaps you are encouraging this behavior as well.
Stay away if you value your self-respect and freedom.
2007-07-15 08:47:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him exactly how you feel. We all remember being lonely teens...but lessons learned in your teens prepare you for adulthood. I would also tell my girlfriend not to bring the young man to lunch anymore. You are both too old to hang with a teen.
2007-07-15 08:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by Poz 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋