she rang me in the morning to thank me for the childrens new colthes and said how much she was looking forward to the day the at 2.30 am on saturday morning she hung herself WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS
2007-07-15 00:50:15 · 15 answers · asked by Margaret M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Obviously she was very good at hiding her emotional pain. She kept that phone call normal and typical, deliberately not giving you any clues that she needed help. And that leaves you with survivor's guilt, wondering if there were hints you should have picked up, help you could have given, something you would have done, to prevent this tragedy.
The answer is, we'll never know. She kept her wounds hidden and acted at a time when she knew she would not be interrupted or discovered.
All you can do is mourn her, and support your son and grandchildren through what's got to be a horribly traumatic time for them. Make sure you never speak badly of your daughter in law or her decision, since that could further hurt a family that's already got a lot to bear.
My sincere sympathy for your loss, and wishes for strength now and peace soon.
Maryn, giving you a big hug
2007-07-15 00:57:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
My condolences for your loss. God doesnt always let us know why people do the things they do. Majority of the people contemplating or have committed suicide ever show signs to forewarn us. There will be alot of guesses but the real reason why may never be known. Whatever the reason that something happened between your call and finding her that made her or pushed her over the edge and this wasthe only way she knew how to cope with it. Never the best answer but happens way too often. Remember her in your hearts and help the children cope with this and in time you all will be able to move on past this. Once again sorry for your loss and God bless you all
2007-07-15 10:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one knows why someone commits suicide, unless they leave a note behind.
There was no indication in her phone call to you for you to suspect anything was going to happen after she thanked you for the new clothing. Most of the time, people never see the signs of a troubled person as they can cover this up very well.
She did appear to think very highly of you and made sure she thanked you for the clothing.
Say a prayer for her, rather than feel guilty as you are not the blame for her death. Honor her life by keeping the memory of her for her children as they will need you even more now.
My deepest sympathy to you and all the families involved.
2007-07-15 08:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by Patty G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost I want to say my heart goes out to you. What a horrible tragedy for your family and hers! Sadly you are all now left wondering WHY!?!?! There is no logical answer for that. When depression reaches this level, the person afflicted actually feels that there is no other alternative. That the pain they are feeling is so great that there is no other way out and that they and everybody around them would be better off if they were not around anymore. The real tragedy is that they don't understand that the havoc they leave behind in their wake is beyond devastating. The people they love, who they thought would be better off without them, are left in a place bereft of healing, in a void that never truly heals over. We are left to wonder why and suffer the loss, the anger, and the pain. There is no answer to "WHY" that will ever be a good enough reason to explain this or give peace over this. Hold fast to your faith. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.
2007-07-15 08:06:06 · answer #4 · answered by madevali 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you'll never know but maybe by talking to your son and her family and friends, you might get a better idea of what drove her to this terrible situation. Imagine the state she must have been in to think that this was her only option. I feel terribly sorry for people who believe this, life is so precious .. there is always another option! You should not feel guilty about this, this will only eat away at you. Think about your grandchildren now and make their time now easier to cope with.
2007-07-15 08:00:12 · answer #5 · answered by Smedley 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Something made life unbearable for her. You probably will never know.
Get some counseling to help you cope with your guilt. You didn't do this, no matter what your relationship was with her, she is the only one responsible. You are going to have to put the "why's" behind you, they don't really matter any more. You have a very big job in front of you to help your son and his children live through this. I'm sorry for your loss.
2007-07-15 08:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stress and pressure may have played a role---She may have thought the kids would be better off with someone else, just tired of living---One thing for sure, she wasn't in her right mind and maybe she was depressed she might have be trying to call out for help and not really sure, but I will pray for you and your family
2007-07-15 07:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by Kasey 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
there is no way of knowing why she did this but this doesn't sound like it was your fault so stop blaming yourselves most suicides are caused by an on going problem that someone cannot handle like pressure at work or the feeling of failure ! maybe you could go and see a physic and ask to speak to your daughter in law if you believe in that stuff it can really put your mind at rest ! hope this helped if you wanna talk to someone IM me Good luck
2007-07-15 07:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
She was sad and could not communicate effectively with anyone who would make her feel the way she needed to feel. You do not need to feel guilty as you were not someone who was close in the way she needed; you are an innocent bystander. There is nothing you could have done.
2007-07-15 07:54:20 · answer #9 · answered by all_stardusty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is naturally to feel so guilty at this and is part of our grief work.
You have to identify yourself by turns with her good and bad pages. So you may get a grief work.
heike
2007-07-15 08:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by Heike 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋