Wife left me and our son to move back to her parents at the other side of the country. 6 months have gone by-

Question

In January of this year my wife left to go back west to move in with her parents. She left me and our son behind because "we were not getting along." Since then we've been keeping an open a line of communication by talking over the phone. Over time she has admitted that she was stressed out by the fianances, not having nice things, and living in a town she hated. But, over time I also learned that she had a hidden email account that she was using to talk with an old flame. When confronted, she said that she needed somebody to talk to. But later she admitted that while out of town for a business trip she decided to meet him, pick him up at the airport, have dinner and then dop him off at his hotel. Now, months later she wants to come back, but only when I finish my degree which is within the next month. She has hardly spoken to our 11 year old son, and wants to come back out of the blue as if nothing has happened. We have been married ten years. Am I stupid?

Answer 1

i wouldnt say stupid but niave maybe. Any woman who leaves a child this way has no regard for anyone but theirself and wont change. to leave you would have been bad enough but to leave a child is dispicable. You cannot cut her out of your lives, you dont say how this has affected your child, but if it were me i would be on my gaurd and fiercly protective of allowing anyone near my child, mother or not, if they can be this thoughtless. She has done this once to you both, if you let this go, she has licence to do it again. and dont even get me started on the "story" about the other guy. Do whats best for you and your child, she has no regard or respect for either of you, have some for yourself, i think you know what you should do, you are just finding it daunting, good luck to you,

Answer 2

Do you have it in your heart to forgive her? It is said that forgetting is one thing but forgiveness is devine. YOu need to think about this matter now that you will graduate and perhaps your life will get better financially. She may be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps when she was with you she was desperate and did not see her life getting any better, panic'd and of course went to find it with someone else. It did not worked out so she wants to come back to you. I think that you should stay in contact with her but don't be so quick to take her back. You also need to consider your son and how he will grow up thinking about you and of course how his mother left you two. You should not turn your son against his mother. Explain to him that those things happen and that sometimes we all make very bad choices but we learn from the consequences of the decisions that we make that have bad results. He will respect you and love you according to how you handle the situation and how you show him that you care for him and that you do want what is best for him. You might want to consider a separation but if you file for separattion depending on what state you live in, if you file for separation then when it comes to filing for divorce, you may be the one to file for it,, not your wife. It seems you still think about and love your wife. That is understandable. With undconditional love,, as stupid as it sounds to most people. you don't care what the person does, your affection for them does not change. That is unconditional love. There is always room to forgive. Take your time and sort things out for you, your son and your wife. In time you will know what to do.Good luck to you all.

Answer 3

no, you're not stupid :) if u love your wife tha much and can forgive her, then, so be it..but if there's no room for her in your heart and life then better off without her..you and your kid have moved on without her, so whatever u think is best for u and your boy :) people will say a lot, u will get suggestions and advices but at the end of the day it's still your life and live it the way u want it :)

Answer 4

Maybe not stupid, she is. Your naive, tell her to hit the road. Things may not be going to well for her now and she wants a free ride, tell her to get lost.

I would cut her off and change my phone number.

Answer 5

I caught mine cheating and threw her out.My heart jumped out in front and said ("Oh Hell No You Dont").Then I begged her to come back but she didn't.Only if you truely love her should you take her back.Some people take marriage as a joke.