My boyfriend is a Soldier who was depolyed to afghanistan in feb. he is coming home on leave in aug and we were gonna go to hawaii to get married ..untill he told me the other day that we couldnt be married cause he was already. he said he married his best friends sister so she coud get her citizenship a few yrs ago. He said he was trying to get a divorce and he is sorry for not telling me sooner. then i asked if there wa anything else i needed to know and he said just one thing. he slept with a married woman just before we got together and she got pregnant and the baby is 2 months old and he is not sure if it is his or not. he said she emailed him before the baby was born and asked if he thought it might be his but has not contacted him since the birth,what the hell should I do ...stay( I left my husband for him..i was sure he is the love of my life) or leave? i have 2 children who adore him as well.
HELP one part of me wants to run and the other stay cause i love him so deeply?
2007-07-14 20:35:38 · 7 answers · asked by Hot mama 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You left your husband for a man w/ a lot of secrets! Grass is not always greener on the other side, is it??
I would probably leave him alone. Too much baggage and too many secrets.
2007-07-14 20:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by hereigoagain 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2007-07-15 04:15:42 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL!!!! Run like the wind! I swear, get away and quickly. He's lied to you many times, it's not worth it, come on now, seriously. RUN AWAY and don't even interact with him anymore, change phone numbers if you have to.
Explain things to your kids so that they'll understand and go on with your life, you have 2 children to take care of, they're priority, they come 1st, not a man especially a man whose already lying. Imagine what it will be like if you marry this man, he'll be lying to you left and right. You do NOT need to be with a deciever, I assure you that. Let it alone.
- Not only will he drag YOU down, he'll drag YOU and your KIDS down and as far as I know every parent wants whats best for their children.
2007-07-15 04:16:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! Honey it seems to me that you love so dearly the man you THOUGHT HE WAS! Who is he? An engaged, married man, with a child that is not by his wife OR fiance. Sweetie, I think for you and your children, you should leave him. This guy is not stable. He is all over the place and you and your children need stability, security, and piece of mind that you will his ONLY WIFE. Please tell him to hit the road and for now, try to concentrate on you and your 2 precious little ones! good luck!
2007-07-15 04:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by who are you anyway?? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo mama, you are all confused up. To be set free, leave him to rot himself ya.
why pick a confused man, just get a righteous man and life goes on, America is not make with only one man citizenship ya.
2007-07-15 03:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but that's what you get for leaving your husband. Now you know how he felt. On behalf of all the men whose women left them for someone else.......HA HA HA.
2007-07-15 05:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he.s married now and probley liewing to you on divorceing her i would find a man who you can trust he cant be from what you typed about him. my opion?
2007-07-15 03:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋