Me: 23. I'm a wonderful, warm person and attractive.
Him: 31 y/o guy who is cheating on his girlfriend with me (I am not advocating it! and I didn't know at first).
Hooking up about once or twice a month. He's affectionate, generous, kind to me. Says he's unhappy with his gf. Am I only being used? Are these all lines?
2007-07-14 17:05:14 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd say that if he is unhappy with his girlfriend and isn't going to break up with her because of that, I'd say he is giving you lines. I would also say that since it is only once or twice a month, it is because they had a fight.
2007-07-14 17:08:02 · answer #1 · answered by Peggy Pirate 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2007-07-15 04:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
okay, ms 23....once you knew that he has a girlfriend why didn't you stop the affair if you're strongly against it?
When ever a guy tell you that he is unhappy with his current girlfriend and haven't break off the relationship, while sleeping around with you. Guess what? you're being used!! he come around one or twice a month of some action. after the fun is over and he goes back to her, clearly that he is using you with those lines.
tell him that he have an option. 1) to end the unhappy relationship and start a new with you. 2) don't come running to you for some bed times action.
2007-07-15 00:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your 23 and have never seen this scenario before? Wise up there young lady. This guy is a worm. Plain and simple. He will continue to use you for as long as you let him. Stop it right now. If for some reason he does get a divorce everyone is going to blame YOU. And at least partially, you are to blame because you know that he is married and still fooling with him. Leave this squirrel nut and find a decent man to completely fulfill your needs instead of a part time, married boyfriend.
2007-07-15 00:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should NEVER stay with a guy that would cheat on his girlfriend. even if he breaks up with her, who is to say that he won't cheat on YOU? if he was TRULY unhappy with his girl friend, then he would've already broken up with her and gone with you. hooking up once or twice a month isn't enough for a realtionship either. no matter how nice or affectionate he is, there can always be an actor in somebody. you should go get urself a guy who respects you for who you are, likes to be with you MORE THAN once or twice a month, and has never cheated on a girl friend.
2007-07-15 00:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by merri 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My downstairs neighbor is in the same position as you, except he sees her more than once or twice a month. Every Friday he comes over for about 2 hours, maybe Sunday. It used to be more, but people were getting suspicious. She denies that he is married to someone else and refuses to think she is being used. The point is, if a man isn't crazy about you and want to be with you every chance he can get, then he is using you or lying.
You are worth more than this and deserve to be in a wonderful and trusting relationship!
2007-07-15 00:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by Bien Chula 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i know your question is addressed to the men, but i just wanted to let you know a little history of what my husband has put me and all his other women through... my husband has always been a cheater and probably always will be... when he is having an afair he tells the other woman how misserable he is with his home life and how he wants a divorce so he can live his life with her... he tells her how much he wants to be with her, showers her with affection and gifts... all the while treating me and our family like ****!!! mostly out of guilt!!! when i finally find out about the affair he immediatly shuts it off!!! and then he does a 360 treating me like gold and tells the other women that she was nothing just something to do and he really doesn't want to loose his family and he was wrong... so from my own experiance of over 11 years living with a man that does these things i can straight up tell you that yes you are being used... these men a PIGS and they will tell you whatever it takes to get a thrill... older men are the worst expecially when they get a younger woman!!! my husband is 38 and i am 28 and he still goes after the women that are younger than i am.... you make him feel young and adventurous, but it won't last.... take it from someone who knows cut it off and move on with your life find a man that will respect you and be committed to you and only you... we all deserve that... and even if this man did end up leaving his girlfriend to be with you keep in mind once a cheater always a cheater!!!
2007-07-15 00:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by angel m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're only being used, and don't kid yourself. He will do the same thing to you. If he is so unhappy with his girlfriend why doesn't he leave? This is the same old story. Cheating men use the same lines, tell you they are going to leave their wife, but never do. Break it off now and find yourself a decent guy. This one is a lying loser.
2007-07-15 00:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by DK Julie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he were truly unhappy with the first girlfriend, why would he remain in a relationship with her? Only to hurt you? He is willing to hurt her and to hurt you by this set of affairs. An honorable man would end one relationship before getting involved in another. He is not a good person; I would run far and fast from any man who behaves like that.
2007-07-15 00:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Booger 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If his unhappy with the gf then why is he still with her? After all she's only a gf not a wife, it's not like he has to divorce her and pay child support. So I say YES your being used. Big time.
2007-07-15 00:12:26 · answer #10 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋