Is it Odd for Someone to want to be your friend after you have expressed a romantic interest in them?

Question

Hello Everyone,

Is it odd for someone to still want to be friends with you even though you have told them that you, as a friend, have developed romantic feelings for them? Wouldn't that make the situation awkward? What could this person be thinking (this has happened to me and I am not sure whether or not to continue the friendship with this person, as I have already expressed my romantic interest and asked not to talk to this person anymore)?

More Details,

We are both married, and I cut off the relationship with him to work things out with my husband (we are in marriage counseling) and my husband is aware of the situation. This person and I would talk on the phone for hours and e-mail daily. We also went out to dinner and lunch numerous times in a two month timespan {8 times]. This person was sincerely hurt when I cut off the relationship, as he was looking forward to introducing me to his family and almost seems desperate to reconnect. I am working things out with my husband now, but wonder if this friend had any feelings for me that were more than frienship. What do you all think? I have no intention of reconnecting, but for some reason am curious.

Thanks alot for your help!

Answer 1

No it's not odd. They are not romantically interested in you so it won't feel odd to them. You however may feel awkward since there is more too your feelings. Maybe with the passage of time this will go away. If it hurts to be their friend then tell them you can't be their friend.

Answer 2

If they still 'just want to be friends' that means that they either 1. have no romantic feelings for you
or
2. wish to preserve the friendship the way it is

There's nothing really awkward about it - it's all in how awkward you make it. Understandably your feelings were hurt, and you were probably embarrassed after baring your feelings not to have them returned, but you can't make someone feel something if they do not.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but you do not want to have a romantic interest in a friend. I know, I know, it happens, and you can't help the way you feel. But trust me, becoming involved romantically is not good.

Ever seen those places that have tire spikes to keep you from going the wrong way in or out? Getting romantically involved with a friend is like driving over one. You can't go back without serious damages and a hefty repair bill.

Answer 3

Not at all! They're asking for you to give them more time.