I've been reacquainted with an old friend. Worried about what she thinks of me.?

Question

I recently started talking to someone I've known for almost 10 years. We recently started hanging out a lot, and it was primarily her who made the plans. I tried not to come off as needy or anything, and it's only been about a week that we've been hanging out a lot, so I made it a point only to call once or twice.
Tonight we didn't have any major plans. When I called to confirm whether or not we were heading out to see another friend, she was already there, and sounded almost paranoid. I was fine with the plans being cancelled as they weren't anything serious. I don't really understand why for a week she was insistant on hanging out, but tonight she sounded like she didn't understand why I was calling. Am I the one who's being too paranoid? I'm a bit shy when it comes to the beginning of new friendships and whatnot. What would you think if you were in my situation? I feel like such a dork for even worrying. I'm not clingy or anything, but I do worry a lot. *sigh*

Answer 1

Your mind can play terrible tricks on you, at times...Try not to overthink the situation - you probably are not correct in your assessment that she almost sounded paranoid. Just relax and call her when you feel like it. If she has plans, don't take it personally. If she calls you and you have plans, make sure that you tell her so as well, so that she will not think that you are just hanging around waiting for her call. You made it through the last 10 years without her, so just try and pace yourself into this friendship...Kinda sounds like you wouldn't mind having more than friendship, but perhaps I'm reading too much into things as well! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 2

Sometimes the newness of a relationship of any kind, whether a friendship or a bf/gf relationship is exciting when it is new and some people find themselves devoting a lot of time and energy into the "new" relationship and loosing sight of older ones. That may be what was going on with your friend. She may have realized it and wanted some time with her other friend alone, but felt a little guilty when you called. Maybe she thought you would be mad. I think you shouldn't worry about it. See how things go. Friendships take awhile to grow. If you are nervous about coming off as too clingy or needy just let her make the first few moves, then you can suggest something when your more comfortable. Is there a reason you worry about being needy and clingy?

Answer 3

Well, maybe she thought you had other ideas than just remaining friends, you know, maybe she picked up on some vibe or something. I think you have to be honest with yourself and ask, "Did I really have the ulterior motive of pursuing a dating or sexual relationship with her?"

On the other hand, even if you did, it's nothing to be ashamed about. Just because she's not interested in the same thing doesn't mean it's the end of the world because as the saying goes, "there are many fish in the sea."

So don't worry about it and just enjoy being you. I'll bet if you don't call her for a while, she'll end up calling you to see what you've been up to.

Answer 4

You know what? I completely understand where you are coming from. I do not believe that you are being paranoid or clingy at all. Its only human to feel that way though... Maybe she just wanted to spend one night without you, you did say that you were together every night for a week. Maybe that is why she sounded so paranoid, not quite knowing how to say that she wanted to hang with her other friends that night. Don't feel bad, just wait for her to call you. The next time you speak to her, just ask her. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

I utilize the idea of the positive assumption. If that doesn't work, oh well, I was wrong. For example she might have the same problems.

Answer 6

I really think that you are thinking too much into this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please, stop imagining what might be happening and just get on with life. Take care of yourself!