Should I believe Him?

Question

i have been with my husband for 2 years, we have only been married for 1. when we first starting dating he told me i was the 4 girl he was to have sex with. recently (after being married for almost a year) he came forward and said that when we started dating he had lied and i was actually his first.which he was my first so he knows it always bothered me that i was not his first and we had talked about it alot during the course of our relationship before we got married but it was only recently that he said he actually was a virgin until we had sex. tonight we had some friends over for dinner and were talking about sex for some reason and my hubbys friend started talking about a "whale" he had sex with and my hubby laughed and said you would never guess who i did... so i was like so you did have sex with someone else? and he was like no i woke up with her making our with me and i was naked but we didnt have sex?
im so mad. i feel like he is lieing and i wasnt his first...

sorry forgot to ask the question...
WHAT SHOULD I DO???
I want to believe him but for some reason i just dont... i feel like i wasnt his first and he lied and it really bothers me, i just want to know the truth but i dont think asking him gives me the truth...

Answer 1

I'm not saying this to be smart but it's so obvious that the two of you are very young.When you get older you will look back at this and say why,why did i waste my time on something so stupid as that. You are his wife he married you so that means he loves YOU not anyone he might have had sex with BEFORE you two were married. If you think you hurt now,you better hope and pray your husband does not cheat on you because honey let me tell you, that's heart braking pain the kind of pain where you don't want to wake up the next morning. So please don't do that to you or your husband because all it's really doing is making your husband afraid to open his mouth in front of you.

Answer 2

Maybe he said that he was a virgin because he knew it bothered you so much. If that is the case then just take it as a way he is trying to tell you that he loves you and leave it at that . Lying is no good but if it made you feel better before the friend mentioned the whale, that might just be all that it was. Trying to right a wrong that he didn't even know was a wrong when he said he did it with 4 others.

Answer 3

Your husband may have very well told some stories to friends in order to make himself seem like a stud. Lots of guys do this. 5 years ago I dated a guy who told me on our first date that he lost his virginity at 17. It seemed quite young but I was OK with it. Then weeks go by and he confesses he's actually a virgin. I was STUNNED! The guy was 29 years old at the time, I was 22. We dated for 2 years but I wouldn't marry him (it wasn't because of that, though). The man I married had the same number of partners as me.

Nevertheless I must add that it is highly odd that AFTER you got married, his story started changing. I would be a bit wary of that.

Answer 4

little late now. Get over it. and move on. If this is going to bug you... now...it won't ever be good. What difference does this make now that you're married anyway?

He married you.
Perhaps he was just talking big in front of the friend. Move on... or get some counselling to figure out why this is so important to you. Most people do haev sex before they marry.

Answer 5

Who cares if you weren't his "first". Do you know how rare it is these days for both of you to be virgins at the same time? HOWEVER, I'd be worried about the lying. Something's definitely not right. My mama always said "If someone will lie to you, they'll steal from you, and if they'll steal from you, they'll kill you." And it's true. It all starts with lying. My first husband lied about the stupidest crap, and that did it for me. I said I'd never be someone like that again, and I won't. I'd reconsider the relationship if I were you. Good luck.

Answer 6

The most important thing, aside from what he has said or hasn't said, is that he is NOW with you, and ONLY you.

Whatever happened before you two got together is in the past, leave it there.

When talking with their friends, stories are exaggerated and changed, men tend to do that, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just pay close to attention to the here and now.

Answer 7

I really doubt the thing happened between him and this other person. I would suspect that he did not want to seem inexperienced in front of the other man. It probably is a source of insecurity for him. Go love him, I am sure he is a great person. In a world full of man whores, this is a blessing.

Answer 8

Well since you cant seem to get a straight answer, then I think that you need to just let it go. What does it really matter?? You have already signed the papers anyways, better or worse remember?

Answer 9

no,no,no! sorry but he is a liar. accept the fact that you married this guy and now you have to live with the storys he is going to begin feeding you. you are 'trapped' so to speak, and if this is important to you then you have to seriously figure out what the next move is. by allowing this and forgetting, are you disrespecting yourself and/ or your beliefs? can you get past this and be ok with it. the guy is a jerk anyway for trivializing something that is obviously sacred to you. and yes that is what he did. sleep on it, maybe for a week. but if want to right answers, start being a bit of a b***h to get them.

Answer 10

Your husband is a bullshitter (you should have realized that a long time ago)........
He just said that to impress his buddy..... No worries.