Should a husband allow his wife to know his income?

Question

I soon to marry a man that feels as though he shouldn't reveal how much he makes in a year. Is this right?

I am soon to marry a man that feels that it is irrelevant to share with me his yearly income? Says there is no need to as long as he is taking care of me.

Answer 1

I'd be asking myself why he feels a need to hide his income, and what else he might be hiding, if I were you. It seems like an awfully odd way of behaving, even if he's very traditional what's the issue in knowing how much he makes, unless he's hiding money from you? Shared finances (or at least awareness of shared financial future) is traditional in most marriages, and unless you are going to be working and having your own income from which you will be paying your own bills, you have a right to know the financial situation of your marriage.

Answer 2

Of course you should know his income. He should know yours too, by the way. But you write that he "will take care" of you. So there's the problem, You do not have a job, at least not a job that will give you even a semblance of power over your daily life. You cannot make yourself so dependent on another person. What are you thinking? This isn't the 1950s. What's going to happen? Will he will give you pocket money and you have to scrimp on things while he makes who knows how much money?

He's keeping something from you. This is very, very serious.
Basically, by not sharing financial information with you, he can keep you on a short leash, make you completely and utterly dependent on him. And he will have total control over you.
Will he pay all the bills himself? How will you know what to do if,, God forbid, he gets sick, loses his job, needs to go on disability and can't work anymore? Worst case scenario: something bad happens and you're left behind (with kids?) - will you even know how to sign a check, where his bank accounts are? If he even included you (and the kids) in his will? So you won't be kicked out of the house by the beneficiary of his estate?
Oh, I want to list a whole long list of other questions for you to worry about there. But the bottomline is: don't get married to him until you know what's up here. Something smells very, very fishy here.

PS: Did you know that you can also be held responsible for his unpaid debts if you marry him? How do you know he's not up to his ears in debt? If he has a house and a car and some other nice things, chances are that he has large loans outstanding. Maybe he's in over his head? And what will you do if you are legally required to take care of all that? Declaring bankruptcy doesn't sound like much fun.

Answer 3

It is only right if you are comfortable with it. And I would not, under any circumstances let him know what you make either. Open a bank account in your name only before you are married so it does not become marital property and deposit your funds there ever after.
Including the "allowance" you may get as it feels as though he will be in control of all finances.
He may also make you sign a prenuptial agreement to limit your support from him in case of divorce.
Examine how you really feel about this and any other issues they may be lurking in your mind before you marry this man.

Answer 4

Spouses have a marital right and obligation to share such basic things as finances. If anything were to happen to either of you, then there'd be a hell of a fight trying to get things straightened out when the funeral is over.
Besides, you two have to pay joint taxes (or at least you ought to).

As a final word, if you don't trust his financial views, what ELSE is he hiding from you? I would NOT enter into a marriage unless there was COMPLETE AND UTTER trust and commitment on both sides. RETHINK this marriage, before you make a HUGE mistake.

Answer 5

I would be suspicious about why he doesn't want you to know about his finances. Sounds like doesn't want you to know what he spends "his" money on.
The problem is, that once you marry, you can be held responsible for his debts. If anything happens to him and he is in debt, they will come after you. If you ever divorce, you could be held liable for 1/2 of the debts, depending when he accrued the debt and how good a lawyer you get.
Doesn't sound like an honest way to start a marriage.
You better find out what you are getting into financially before you "take the plunge."
Good luck to you

Answer 6

Yes, you need to know. As his wife, legally you will have many resposibilities should he pass on, you will be given that information anyway. You need to know what his credit score, his past debts, any outstanding leins, if he owes taxes etc. If he owes taxes and you're married, they take it from both of you!! And you need to find out all of this before you're married, so you're not legally bound to a person who is (financially) a sinking ship. It happens! I hear all the time about con artists who convince women to marry them, then it turns out they're on the run from law for stealing or drugs or something. If your fiance' doesn't want to be honest about this HUGE subject, what else is he hiding?

Answer 7

LOL what time warp is that guy in 1962???
Of course you should know whats going on with the money that is your business.
I have seen so many cases where the woman's husband dies and she is clueless about her finances. Can't even pay a bill or write a check. Come on woman up be assertive and also contribute by paying the bills (he gives you the $$) yourself and keeping track of the house hold..

Answer 8

NO this is not right, He is supposed to be open and sharing his life not closed and keeping secrets. If he keeps that secret what else is he going to think you just do not need to know and keep secret. A good marriage cannot thrive with secrets or with one person concealing what should be shared information. this is a big red flag for a controling person, one who is not going to be open and share their lives, and not good marriage material. I would think twice about marrying such a man and then not do it. Good luck if you do. and Wassup with this "allow". There is so much wrong with this guy, Run honey, Run.

Answer 9

NO its not right. He hasn't heard of being equal and honest etc? Why should'nt you know. My boyfriend of 2 years leaves for 3 months at a time and gives me complete access to his money, and he never thought twice about it. I thought he was way to quick to trust that soon since he was gone so much of the time!! But he is a kind and trusting wonderful guy! He makes ALOT of money so really its a big deal.

Answer 10

My sisters husband told her the same thing. As it turns out, most of his income was generated illegally and now he is in prison. You will be his wife and you have a right to know. My sister lived like this blindly for 12 years and then suffered the consequences for her stupidity.