My husband and I have had our share of bad things going on and we've hurt each other enough. We plan of divorcing but we want to live close to each other, do shared parenting, take the kids places together and remain friends. Both of us are willing to try and remain friends and not make it a hugh mess. Neither one of us really wants it that way. We want to work everything out between us from possibly doing the divorce ourselves just have an attorney oversee it to splitting up our household. My family doesn't think it's possible. But in my heart I'm hoping it's possible. Am I being blind? Or could it happen?
2007-07-14 12:12:59 · 14 answers · asked by Tara C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I never understand how you can be friends with your ex. I see people who are best friends with their ex wives and it drives me crazy. Look, if you want to live close together, remain close friends, and do the shared parenting thing then just stay married and go to counseling. It is a lot cheaper in the long run. Depending on how old the kids are you are going to run into holiday schedule conflicts, etc. Just remember to get a very detailed divorce decree that spells out everything. even seemingly stupid stuff. Let me say again, avoid the divorce and get counseling. If you still have feelings for each other then your marriage is worth fighting for.
But to answer your question: yes it is possible, rare and irritating but possible.
2007-07-14 12:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by me2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it can happen. Keep in mind that your divorce decree will do three things that are important to your agreement: (1) split up your property, (2) establish a child possession schedule, and (3) establish the amount of child support that one of you pays the other, including medical support for the kids (health insurance, and who pays for what when the insurance doesn't cover it). If you foresee disagreement on any of these issues, you might want to read a book called "Getting to Yes," which is about negotiation skills.
Good luck! Your kids will be the biggest winners if you can pull it off.
2007-07-14 12:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by grizzie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It worked for me and my ex. The key for us was to mutually declare that our daughter's well-being was the most important thing. At that point, that was about all we could agree on. And we went to a counselor for help separating, which seems odd, but was crucial. Keep thinking about the long term goals. Remember that if you can't figure out how to agree on terms the only winners will be the lawyers. We didn't even have lawyers, but a Legal Document Preparer instead. No legal advice, but they know all the forms that need to be done, and how to do them...all for much cheaper than a lawyer.
Remember, keep the kids first!
2007-07-14 15:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by rixquik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible. If you have kids it is important I no alot of divorced couples that socialize, My boyfriend & I went to the circus with my ex husband and his girlfriend for my birthday. His girlfriend is the one who bought the tickets for my birthday present. I had told her I had never been. If you really think about it the new girlfriend is probably pretty nice, Just remember He used to like you so you know he has good taste in women
2016-05-17 22:16:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you say, you should be able to work it out as there is still respect, trust and friendship.
Try to have the 'external advisers' (aka families, friends) outside the conflict.
Good luck with a difficult step in your lifes.
2007-07-14 12:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can have a good divorce but both has to be willing to give and take. so remember what you have is kids between you two and dont tear them apart. and remember that what is in the house and the house is materialistic things that can be replaced.....so alot of giving and taking has to be in play
2007-07-14 12:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by $martA$$.com 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex and I had a fairily amicable divorce. I said what I wanted, he said what he wanted, we agreed and that was it. We no longer live close, I'm in California he is in New York but it's still amicable, I gave him liberal visitations because he is still our daughter's father whether we are married or not.
2007-07-14 12:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it can happen...as along as the both of you can do it (being respectful). I wish you the best. Do it for the kids. Good for you being able to do it. And wanting to do it.
Good Luck ; )
2007-07-14 12:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by DJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been divorced twice and trust me, it was never amicable or "friendly" - even though we said we were going to "friends". If I was you, I wouldn't get my hopes up. Get ready to bear some claws and ALWAYS look out for #1. .. Good luck.
2007-07-14 12:22:16 · answer #9 · answered by ScarlettBegonias 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't it be possible? If that's what you want and that's what he wants it should happen. Seems to me you found one of the problems in your marriage. Your family is trying to cause problems where the don't exist.
2007-07-14 12:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋