Mysterious question about men?

Question

there's a saying "its not where he's at but where he wants to be" meaning it doesnt matter that the man is with you , if he still calls the ex or messes around or what not that he really wants to be with her but if thats true why would he stay with his new wife? what do you guys think if a man cheated with his ex before is that what he really wants or does it only matter about who he is with?

Answer 1

You'll drive yourself crazy on this question, it has to many variables.Believe it or not not all men think the same.Some want a relationship with their Ex. because they spent so much time together they want to be friends,(nothing sexual).Maybe another guy had money problems with his Ex. and his new wife has money but lacks what his Ex. had sexually it could be a real problem,or he's really stupid and thinks he can have both women without one getting mad about the other.Now to narrow all this down.If you really know all the facts on what is really happening then it is up to you to work thru it or kick him to the curb.

Answer 2

That's tough, because it can be taken either way. For instance, say he's really at work, but he wants to be at home with his new wife. Does that make the wife feel any better?

Then there's what you're asking. If he's with the wife, but can't stop thinking about the ex, is he really committed? Does he even know what he really wants? Is it a case of 'the grass is greener'?

Maybe he's trying to stay away from the ex because he knows she isn't the right person for him for whatever reason--she's a golddigger, she abuses drugs or alcohol, she's mean-spirited, she has a horrible attitude, she's lazy, she can't cook, whatever. But he's made the decision that She Is Not For Him. So he's decided to marry the new wife who is (ideally) much better. She has some trait that the ex is missing.

Or, possibly, he realized too late that the ex is The One, and is trying to uphold his end of the marriage vows because he did take them, after all.

It actually kind of reminds me of this...

Answer 3

It could be that since he got married with this woman he can't tell her that he wants out because she really loves him and he knows that if he did it it would break her heart. Or if he has kids with this new wife than it could be that he's staying there for the child but really wants to be with the other one. It doesn't necessarly mean that where he is really matters cause I know of a guy that has this other woman but he's married and with kids but won't leave his wife because he doesnt' want to leave his family. So this means that this person should talk to his wife and explain the situation and then make a decision for the better.

Answer 4

Isn't that lil kim's verse on Keyshia Cole's new song.

Well, we all know that women and men don't think alike, but this what I think.

If a man is married and he is still messing around with his ex it could be because his ex has better sex than his wife, but the wife is the wifery material. The wife is #1 obviously because he married her. But the only reason why I can see a man his not with his ex but still wants to have sex with her is because her sex must be that fiya, but she just not wifery material mentally.

Answer 5

I believe that if a person chooses to cheat, that they later in their next relationship they can choose not to cheat. I have a hard time with once a cheater always a cheater. Some people end up making better choices later on in life.

Answer 6

First off, you were never involved with a MAN in the first place. Maybe a narcissist.
And why are you sitting around letting that clown break your heart? If he wants to go back to his ex, let him. Let him be her problem. Give them a month and he'll be single again.
Just don't pick up the phone when he calls.

Answer 7

sounds like to me that he just doesn't want to accept the fact that you can't find everything in one person that you seek.As we mature with age and in wisdom. some of us realize that we need to be content with what we have in the one that is closest to our desires and not be so selfish as to cause harm to another and even to ourselves by trying to balance what we want between more than one person. To answer the second part of you question. That is what he wants but he also wants whatever it is that you bring to the table. So. what it boils down to is if you are willing to settle for that type of behavior or if you think that it is worth trying to find out what it is that you are missing that she has. Personally. I suggest that you give him an ultimatum to avoid any hurt.

Answer 8

What it says about this man is that he has NO character. This is not a man you want to be involved with. He will never be faithful because women continue to say he didn't mean it, or he'll be faithful to me even if he wasn't to her, etc.
If you are currently involved with him drop his sorry butt like a hot potato and get on with you life. You'll find someone who is faithful and treats you with respect if you won't accept less.
I wish you well.

Answer 9

It's definitely about if he's true to you. His sexual angst may be held in check for his ex. Life is hard once you've known love and have lost it. It takes time to heal all wounds.

Answer 10

it's pretty much black and white to me: if he cheats on you or is behaving in a manner that does not illicit trust, then you need to tell him to leave the relationship with you. quit trying to figure out what's in his head. that's a waste of your time and energy. make your boundary and stick to it. if he cheats and/or can't behave in a trust worthy manner at all times, then he goes. you will be better off in the long and short run.