i met a great guy; and we hit it off on all levels... i want to keep seeing this guy; but i'm willing to still stay with my husband. He says he's not happy with this situation; but he does not want to let me go... I still love him; but I want to keep seeing the other guy... is this selfish of me... even though I was honest enough to tell my husband about the affair?
2007-07-14 10:39:58 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
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2007-07-14 10:43:54 · update #1
YOU ARE BEING VERY SELFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your husband is supposed to be the only 1 you love romantically.
its great you told him but marriage means you are chained for life
if you really love this guy sorry to tell you this but divorce would be something to consider
2007-07-14 11:01:19 · answer #1 · answered by julianne w 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So you think your doing good and being a great wife to your husband because you were honest about your affair with this other guy? I give you credit for being honest and that is it. I really don't believe you still love your husband or if you ever did because love doesn't betray and let people cheat. I agree it is selfish. Your only thinking about your wants and needs having your cake and eating it too while your hubby im sure feels like s**t for you cheating on him. He is probably feeling not good enough and is heartbroken you on the other hand don't understand your hubby's feelings and want to continue with your new relationship. I strongly suggest marriage counseling because there is going to be a whole crap load of problems since you cheated. There is going to be fights and trust issues. And you can't expect for hubby to forgive and forget right away. He in time might forgive you but he will never forget and you can't get mad at him for that because he didn't make you cheat.
2007-07-14 11:14:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are being incredibly selfish and completely dismissive of your husband's feelings. You simply cannot have your cake and eat it too. If you want to continue this affair you should end it with your husband and take the consequences just as you would expect him to do if the situation was reversed.
2007-07-15 16:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by hama73hama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not only selfish, but you have just breached your marriage vows. Did you not forget those vows you made with your husband? You see, if you knew you were going to flirt around and have affairs, then you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place!
Of course your husband is not happy with the situation. He married only YOU to stay with HIM only. That's what marriage is all about, not for you to share your body with some stranger who just wants to get into your pants like an 'unpaid wh$$e'.
So, your not only being selfish, but you are a breach-vow-breaker.
I would consider on you reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." If you say you love your husband, then act like you do by showing him!!
2007-07-14 10:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't you read the things we say to people about staying with cheating spouses? I know I have told you guys about my history with my husband but you can still take a hint can't you? Where is your husband? Let us answer the question for him. If you are cheating on him, you must not really love him and if you care about his happiness at all, you wouldn't be hurting him like this. Doesn't he deserve to have a faithful wife? Someone who cares about him?
2007-07-17 18:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by roloswife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are acting selfish. If you really love your husband, then you'd divorce him so that he is free of your extramarital infidelity.
(One has to wonder about him, too. That he's willing to endure his wife's affair -- many men wouldn't do it.)
The fact that you told your husband about the affair is moot. It didn't absolve you from the fact that you're cheating on your husband. You should decide on one man or the other and work hard to make it work.
2007-07-14 10:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by JC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even married? If your husband were doing the same to you, I'm sure that you wouldn't like it. You should choose, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. In summation, yes, I do think that you are VERY selfish & hopefully you don't have children that you are teaching that adultry (on ANY level) is right, because it is not.
2007-07-14 11:16:23 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Aimee♥™ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were honest enough by telling him, let him go. You've allready screwed up your chance at an ongoing affair that he could look the other way at.
On the other hand, if he stays with you, he must be ok with it.
Do your thing. Only live once.
2007-07-14 18:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's incredible selfish of you to expect your husband to be ok with you seeing another man. If you're unable to control you want for someone else then you should get a divorce and then screw anyone you want. Otherwise, don't ruin your husband's life because you are a cheater!
2007-07-14 10:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by Missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tips for a nonsmoker wife who's husband is quiting smoking?
2016-11-20 01:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very selfish. You want to keep your cake and eat it too. You want the security your husband provides and the excitement the other guy provides. Make a decision and stick to it. You are definitely cheating.
2007-07-14 10:44:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋