im getting married in about 5 months. my fiance and i have known eachother for about 1 year and we have been on and off him and i go really serious really fast and he asked me to marry him. i said yes and i do love him but im not sure if its its that kind of love that makes a marriage work. again im not sure if this is the person that i want to spend the rest of my life ( and eternity) with and i dunno if i want to make children with him. i just graduated high school last year and im a freshmen in college and im getting ready to get married! im really nervous about the whole situation. i want to talk to him about it but im really not sure how he will react. he seems like her really does love me, but im not sure if i can make out marriage last a lifetime. what should i do
2007-07-14 09:56:24 · 22 answers · asked by UW2010 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey if you cannot talk dont even think of getting married. What is it with you your at college and you ask a question like this. The answer should be right in your face if not the divorce papers will be. dont say we did not tell you
2007-07-14 10:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by brian m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be honest a lot changes in college. First if he loves you he can wait. A breakup is easier then a divorce. One year is not knowing the person long enought and you both have not had time to get out into the world. You will have to play down on paper a lot of situations, heck there should be free counciling in the area you are in and could go there. Getting on your feet so you can take care of yourself is best before getting married. Also for him to be able to be on his own is something which also needs to be done. Then combined you both can take care of the other one if something happens. When people see each other we put the person in a box, even if the box is wrong that is what is seen until proven otherwise. Personally I had a girlfriend from 10th grade into my 3rd year of college she wanting to get married the first year I was in college (she was a little older) but I was not making much money and she did not have a job. To say the least things did not workout and money was a big issue. Most marriages have issues because of money.
2007-07-14 17:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should wait. If you are not sure then you are not ready. Having children is a big responsibility and should not be taken lightly. Marriage is a vow that you take in front of God that should last forever but if the person you are about to take the plunge with does not make you feel like he is the one then don't do it! Sat down and talk with him, your minister and get some counseling and take your time. Make sure that the love you feel is really love and not just wanting to belong to someone for comfort.
2007-07-14 17:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by Saved 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG be really really sure . Marriage is very serious. It is a commitment for the rest of your life. And divorce is a horrible thing to have to go through especially if you are going to have children. You are still very young and trying to form a life for yourself If you are having these kinds of thoughts then my advice is put it off for awhile. This is a big big step. These days people are so ready to get married thinking so what I'll get a divorce if it doesn't work BUT I'm telling u from experience divorce is not easy . please be certain
2007-07-14 17:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by jusayg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you so much, he will listen to your doubts and try to come up with a solution. Honestly, if he reacts nastily then that should tell you that further on down the line he will react in the same way to a similar situation. Sit down with him and discuss with him what you are feeling. Do not allow him to say that it is "pre-wedding jitters"--these are legitimate concerns of yours and he should take them seriously. Furthermore, I think that your concerns are real and I totally understand where you are coming from. It sounds like you had some life goals planned out and that you are really set in what you want--marriage wasn't in your plans yet. That being said, there are people out there that can get married straight out of high school and be ok with life. Just talk to him, if he gets mad, says that he can't wait for you and leaves then he wasn't worth it. There are plenty of guys out there that are willing to wait for you . Good luck and hope this helps!
2007-07-14 17:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by genova32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not sure than I say no do not get married. Plus at this time you are just starting your life, live it first. You need to get your college done first. Being married and trying to get through college at the same time is very hard, not to mention money problems. You can always be engaged for the next few years. By then you will know for sure. If he gets mad than he is not the man you want to marry.
2007-07-14 17:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by Lish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not sound like you are ready for this. You are so young and there really is no hurry! I agree that seeking some professional help is probably a good idea (as someone else suggested).
An aside...you should not be afraid to talk about ANYTHING with someone that you plan to marry. And don't place so little importance on what you think (you say you are worried about how he will react to your concerns)...
2007-07-14 17:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by fyi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is any question at all----you're not ready! Love is a wounderful thing, but, if it's real it will wait untill all of the questions are answered and all the unrest is gone. There will be a time in your life when there is no question at all about weather or not you should be saying " I DO". It doesn't sound like that time is now. If this love is real, your fiance will wait, if not, it's better you found out now. But you have to find out now. Best wishes.
2007-07-14 17:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by peanut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I respectfully say that, if you're asking these questions, then you definitely are not ready to get married. And you're so young too. Just continue to date througlhout college and get to know each other better. Then if you and he are still together and in love, then you can plan the wedding.
2007-07-14 17:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really is too soon, this may work out eventually, but if you are having serious doubts like these, you know it will not work at this time. You have the rest of your lives ahead of you, do not rush into something you are not ready for.
2007-07-14 17:00:23 · answer #10 · answered by labadala l 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋